Sickie Hubs

If you could please pray for Chuck, we would greatly appreciate it!  He came home early from church today with the chills, aches, and sore throat stuff.  Our winter retreat is THIS weekend and he had an important meeting with the leaders tonight about it.  I will be filling in- just call me Pastor Dubbe.  Ha.  But pray Jase doesn't catch this, and that I can lead the meeting well.  Thank you all!

Church at Home

I know the true definition of "church" is the body of Christ, but for all intents and purposes, I'm going to say I stayed home from church today.  For me, Sundays are the most stressful day of the week.  I could go into all the logistics of why, but come Saturday nights, I get the blues.  I just realized this yesterday, and verbalized it to Chuck.  Normal church services seem to always be held on Sunday mornings, and usually way too early, in my opinion.  My church in MN met on Sunday evenings, and it was the absolute BEST.  I actually looked forward to going, and truly enjoyed my day of rest before our service.  I continually have this nagging feeling that church services could be done in such a better way than the typical Sunday morning stuff.  Why is it that churches typically cram two different messages into one morning?  The way it works for me is I hear a message with the teens, and then I head over to the main service and hear another message.  It just doesn't make sense.  Anyway, because of the fact that we only have one car, and because Chuck works for our church, we all have to troop out of the house early.  Jase and I wait around for an hour before the first service starts, and then he goes to the nursery for 3 hours while I go to two services, and then we wait 30-45 minutes after these services until Chuck is done.  It's just exhausting.  Chuck told me the other day, "It's not going to change", and basically he was telling me to suck it up and quit whining about it.  I get that.  I know what I signed on for when I married a ministry guy- and this is honestly what my heart desires- I just don't like the Sunday morning concept.  It's really annoying.

I do love the loving of the people.  I do love the relationships.  I do love reaching out to others.  I do love singing to God together with my church community.  I do love hearing from God through the Pastor that is speaking.  And today I loved staying home with Jase and watching one service live from the comfort of our couch with coffee in hand while he played on the floor with his toys!  On a side note,  I just noticed this morning that Jase will fuss a little bit when he drops a toy that he can't reach.  It's quite funny to me!  What a JOY it is to watch our baby grow!!

Don't worry, he and I will be heading in tonight to volunteer to serve snacks to the teens during their small group time.  I will have human interaction at some point in the day, and more importantly, a time to hopefully show love.          

Half-Full

I don't really get in to New Years Resolutions.  Goals overwhelm me, and make me feel like I'm failing.  Chuck really gets in to setting goals and is motivated by them.  To each his own.  I am feeling daunted by all the things in life I'm not doing well.  I'm sure that's a normal "new Mom" issue, or even a "Mom issue" in general.  Maybe not, but I suspect I'm not alone.

The great news is, Jase is 4 months old and doing beautifully!  He is growing like crazy, right before my eyes.  Often lately I find myself saying, "This is the last time you'll be squeezing into this outfit!"  During our  2 1/2 week Germany trip he grew out of three outfits I had packed for him.  He is wearing 6 month clothes, with some 9 month things- heading quickly into full-time 9 month attire.   And by the time we got home, he no longer fit into the size 2 American diapers I had.  Thankfully, I was able to mail the 25 leftovers to a dear friend whose baby can still squeeze into size 2's.   Jase is giggling and "talking", which just lights up my heart.  When I ask him questions, sometimes it actually seems like he's "answering" me.  He is one happy guy.

I find myself being very challenged by my little son.  He is constantly smiling, giggling, and just all-around happy.  Even when he hasn't had sleep, or when he's really hungry, he still smiles at me.  Watching him has really been teaching me that I need to smile when I'm not feeling good about my circumstances.  The littlest things stress me out, and make me cranky.  When I'm tired, I get cranky.  When I'm hungry, I get cranky.  I hate that about myself.  I really want God to create in me a spirit of thankfulness and joy- no matter how I am feeling.  Chuck and Jase both see the glass (or bottle, if you will) as half-full, and I  really want to join the optimistic team!