Full of Joy

Mercedes

2012-01-12T19:06:00.000-05:00

This is 6 year old Mercedes. Our new "adopted daughter" of sorts. We are her "sponsor parents". Mercedes lives in Peru, and this picture melts my heart. I wrote Mercedes for the first time today and am so looking forward to connecting with her.

Chuck and I chose this special little girl because she was born on October 21, which was our baby's due date. We wanted to celebrate the life of our unborn child by supporting another child in need. I think our baby in Heaven would be pretty happy about this.

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving!

2012-01-10T14:35:00.001-05:00

Today I am officially a thirty-year-old woman! I know I turned thirty yesterday, but I was still 29 for half of the day. Today I am completely thirty! I have been a little upset about leaving the twenties behind, but as I've thought about it- what's to be sad about?

A lot of my twenties were wrought with heartache, pain, loneliness, and great loss. Why would I want to stay in that decade? Hello 30! And Hello Jovie! Meet my 30th Birthday present from my absolutely incredible husband.

I have wanted a puggle for several years and was completely shocked when Chuck surprised me with my very own! He came home one day the week before Christmas and told me he had a surprise for my birthday but he needed to tell me about it early. I thought he was going to tell me about a trip or something, but then he said, "I am going to get you a puppy! I've been talking to a breeder and we can pick her up before Christmas Eve." I, of course wanted to get her RIGHT THEN. So we hopped in the car and headed an hour and a half south.

We met two puggles that night and my heart was instantly drawn to the sweet, quiet, calm little one that would sit in my lap and cuddle. The little daughters of the breeder told me that she was their favorite. It was so sad to take away their favorite puppy, and even more sad when they cried as we walked out of the house with our new addition. But, once we got in the car with our girl and bundled her up in a blanket, the happiness consumed me. I had my very own puppy!

As if getting Jovie wasn't a big enough surprise welcome into the 30's, Chuck also threw a big surprise party for me with the family and friends I grew up with in PA. It was held at one of my favorite places in NEPA- Northern Lights Cafe. What could be better than coffee, birthday cake, and friends all in one night?

Chuck had our favorite cake baker, Julie- who made our AMAZING wedding cake- make my cake. It was a banana cake, with chocolate chip butter cream filling, covered with chocolate butter cream frosting. OH.MY.WORD. It was fabulous! Thankfully we had left overs so I could enjoy it over and over that week. To have Julie make my cake was just extremely special. It was really touching that Chuck and Julie worked together to give me such a sweet gift.


Awesome poster Chuckie made for me. Had lots of pictures of family/friends.

Some of the fam- love 'em so much!


Love these guys!


My favorite Mama!


2 of my BFF's that came!

Many more were there, it was such a special night. I'd say turning 30 has been pretty wonderful. So far so good!

Special thanks to you, Babe. I could not have dreamed up a more perfect husband for me. Thankfully, God knew. I love you!

A Time To Give Thanks

2011-11-23T11:40:00.000-05:00

With all the writing I have been doing for Grad school, I have had no time to write for the pure enjoyment of it. I'm not sold on Grad school yet. The reason I have always disliked school so much is that it keeps me from doing a lot of others things I'd rather be doing. The same applies to Grad school. I am behind in life, missing out on things I'd love to be doing, and wishing I wasn't stuck doing homework so much. Though I am only in the middle of my first class, it very well might be my last! What I do like about class is the knowledge I've gained that can only help me move forward as a writer. We shall see, we shall see.

For now I am happy to write whatever I'd like, knowing there will be no grade at stake. Since it is Thanksgiving Eve, I'd like to give THANKS! I am thankful for...

~intimacy with God
~worship music
~Chuck
~the way Chuck sacrificially serves me
~Chuck's support of my goals and dreams
~2 1/2 wonderful years of marriage to a man who I have so much fun with
~Godly girlfriends
~Godly women who invest in me
~the privilege to serve and lead teenagers
~my small group of teen girls
~crazy-adorable nephews
~a dream job for my Dad
~close knit family
~a Mom to laugh with, who gets me
~babysitting jobs so that we can buy Christmas gifts
~a fabulous get away with Chuck and friends to Charleston
~the way music ministers to my soul
~friends who share in suffering with me
~God's unique love and adoration of me
~the power of God to change my heart
~being a Mother
~Jesus taking care of our child
~Starbucks Holiday drinks in the red cups

THANK YOU SWEET JESUS!

M

2011-11-03T17:57:00.000-04:00

My dear friend, Emily has started her own blog! I would like to take this time to welcome M to the blog world! No one else but M can bring out this side of me, as seen above. =)

Love you, M! Happy blogging! Check her out: Life, Livi, and the Pursuit of Love

Celebrate Good Times!

2011-10-18T11:30:00.002-04:00

Come on! ;)

A couple week ago Luke drove up with the boys, spent the night, and then I rode up with them to PA. A 4 1/2 hour trip turned into about 6 hours due to the joys of traffic, detours, and a cranky baby. But, the rocky journey was quickly forgotten when we pulled into our beloved home town of Clarks Summit, Pennsylvania! We had been planning a huge surprise for my Dad for weeks.

He just became the lead Pastor at my home church, and he is the happiest version of his fullest self. After a tough couple of years, this is a welcomed dream position for my parents. Heritage (the church) threw my Dad a celebration service at the beginning of October, so us kids really wanted to be there for him. Dad knew Chuck and I were coming, but he thought we would both be arriving on Sunday evening. He had no idea Luke, Chail, Rocky, and John Mark were coming, too!

The day Luke and I arrived with the boys is a day I will hold dear for a long, long time. My Mom and I were texting like crazy to figure out the best place to show up. It's no secret that Dad would be MOST excited about his grand babies, not his children. ;) We decided to go straight to the church where my Mom and Dad were doing some errands. I texted her when we arrived and she came running out to open the door. She ecstatically whispered, "Hurry, hurry! He's in his office!" So we pushed the boys ahead of us and when my Dad turned the corner, the scene was enough to move anyone with a heart to tears.

My Dad was so shocked and so happy all at once that he just crouched down to embrace Chail and Rocky while his tears got the best of him...and my Mom, and me.

Notice Gigi recording the scene

Our time together as a family flew by! With lots of family and friends around, I always wish time could stand still. There is no place in all the world where I feel as restful, peaceful, and happy as I do in good 'ol CS.

Grandpa and Gigi taking it all in

Me and my Little Love


Me and my Little Shweetie


Cakes surprising Dad!


Celebration service- My husband praying for my Dad!


Our little Pixie Grammy


LOTS of laughs with Aunt Cynth and Kayla

Date with the Rents

Down time with Daddy

Cakes thinks he's so funny...I'm really not drunk in this picture!

We laughed, we cried, we celebrated....a good time was had by all!

Regular

2011-09-21T16:20:00.000-04:00

Last week I commented to Chuck that we don't do crazy dates anymore. He smiled at me and countered, "Would you want to go dancing if I planned that?" I smiled back with my reply, "No!" His grin said what he didn't have to voice. He was right. I AM A HOME BODY. If choosing what my favorite thing to do would be, in my heart of hearts, I just want to be home with my husband. That's all. Nothing fancy, nothing crazy, nothing planned, just home with my Love. I love our home, and I love our relationship. What more could I desire?

Chuck and I spend a minimum of 3 nights a week- every week, away from home surrounded by people, mostly teens. We love that and love our time with others, but when there is a fee weekend evening, you better believe I want to be home. Last Friday night we found ourselves at home for the first time in weeks! We had pretty much spent the previous month with his family and were almost caught off guard that we actually didn't have plans. What a glorious discovery!

Once in awhile Chuck will accompany me to the grocery store (not his favorite activity, but it really helps me out and it's so much more fun!). The deal is (thanks to his Mama), he gets to pick out a treat at the store if he comes. Yes, my husband is 29 years old. =) So last Friday afternoon we headed out to the store to pick up some groceries so we could take our friends dinner. While shopping, Chuck was struck with an idea for a dessert we should try. I agreed and he claimed the ingredients as his treat. (Note: I am very strict with our grocery budget!)

Later that evening, we found ourselves excited to try this new version of a dessert we had in Germany. Chuck's friends had made us some sort of pastry deal one day and explained to him (in GERMAN) how to make it. We both had our own ideas so we had a Pastry-Off. Chuck made half, and I made half. We rolled out the dough, cut it into our particular squares and added the strawberry filling.

Roll it....

Chuck claims he won the Pastry-off because his LOOKED nicer than mine. I claim we tied because they all exploded in the oven and caused a mess of strawberry all over the pan!

Pat it...

Put it on the pan...(I forget the rest of that rhyme, haha!)

And our leftovers!

Just a nice, good 'ol, regular evening at HOME!

The Wedding (Take 2!)

2011-08-31T15:55:00.001-04:00

Saturday, August 13 brought Tim and Anni to their "American-style" wedding. Let me tell you, those Germans like to really extend their celebrations! That is something to be desired for Chuck and I. We really love that the German culture takes TIME with each other. They are not in a rush, they do not have plans after plans, and they can just sit and enjoy each other. It's a lovely experience, until my Northern VA attitude kicks in and then I have to remind myself to just BE and enjoy the moments with people. This wedding went on from about 12:30pm until 12:00am. I've never experienced any other wedding like it. It taught me a great deal about the value of being together without being in a hurry.

As the honored Groom stood at the front of the church that Saturday I was struck with how LONG he stood at the front of the church. Tim had plenty of time to observe his surroundings, smile at his guests, but mostly he just gazed down the center aisle with sheer anticipation and excitement for his Bride to arrive.


Waiting for her...

She's coming! Look at that SMILE!

Not the best angle, but there she is! She looked so beautiful!

Finally together. Love the happy tears!

And so it begins....

Wedding #1

2011-08-30T21:10:00.000-04:00

Just about to be MARRIED! (Tim and Anni, that is!)

I know this sign says something about marriage, but I can't quite remember. In Germany, the "real" wedding takes place at the courthouse, and that actually counts as the anniversary date. In the case of Tim and Anni, they also had another wedding celebration the next day that was more like an "American-style" wedding.

The courthouse wedding was wonderful, even though I couldn't understand a word anyone was saying! Chuck did an amazing job of interpreting for me, but I still constantly felt frustrated in not knowing the language. I wanted to know every detail of what was going on, but that just wasn't possible. So, I found myself paying closer attention to facial expressions, body language, and the environment around me. I have heard that when one of the 5 senses is lost, then the other senses kick into over-drive. That's how I felt in Germany. Though "understanding a foreign language" isn't a sense, it certainly feels like it! My other senses kicked into high gear and I snapped pictures like crazy!


Exchanging the rings!


Still exchanging!


Mr. & Mrs. Dubbe! YAY!

I wore really high heels that day!

After the marriage ceremony (for lack of a better word!) Tim and Anni treated family and a few friends to a delicious brunch! Oh how I love trying and eating German food! This place served some sort of amazingly huge pancake-type entree. They had me at pancakes! There was also a constant supply of hot tea and hot coffee on the table which I took advantage of and thoroughly enjoyed. This place was outside, but there was a covering over our tables. The restaurant supplied pillows to sit on, and blankets to cover up with. There could be no better combination for me! I wish ALL restaurants provided blankets! I usually freeze to death and so I fully embraced the blanket provisions. We had such a lovely meal together celebrating the happy couple! BUT, the fun had only just begun!

Pre-Wedding Days

2011-08-29T13:27:00.000-04:00

My posts have been a bit wordy, so thought I'd keep it short today. Here is the happy couple, just one day before they married...

Braut Party Part II

2011-08-28T17:45:00.001-04:00

Present time at the Bridal Party was full of sweet moments. Anni has a silly side to her personality, but also a thoughtful, emotional side which we got to see a lot during the wedding week. The little ducks she was holding up in this picture were so cute! Perfectly representing her silly, fun-loving side. Bride and Groom rubber duckies that Maria (in the background) found in Berlin. The Groom duck even had red hair, just like Timmy.

One of my favorite gifts that Anni received was this HOME MADE memo board, hand-crafted by her friend, Lissie. Lissie created the wood backing, as well as the sewing of the front cloth. It was absolutely adorable! What talent! Plus, the time and thought she put into her gift was really touching. Talk about a sweet gift. I noticed that Germans seem to put a lot of thought and creativity into their gifts. They don't just throw gifts in a bag, they'll hand-wrap a gift with some sort of personal touch: like ribbons, hanging decorations, or some other sentiment. Don't get me wrong, my American gift bag was front and center, I don't even TRY to attempt crafty gifts. It's not me, and no one would think it was special if I attempted to hand-craft something, haha! I just admire that trait about the Germans, and the Dubbe family in general. (Yes, my husband is 100% more creative and crafty than I will ever even attempt to be.)

Here we are, the Dubbe sisters. I just love these girls! Something I love is that our relationships were not the meet and become best friends right away kind. These relationships have taken time, effort, attention, and more time to grow. After pouring lots of love into the mixture, we have slowly become the sister-in-laws I have always wanted. Between long distance, language barriers, protectiveness, and different personalities becoming sister-in-laws was not a walk in the park. But I was struck at the Bridal Party at how we've all grown closer, more comfortable, and deeper in love with each other. Praise God for the gift of girls in the family!

Group shot! True to herself, my sweet Mother-in-Law tried very hard to blend into the background. She's the pretty lady hiding in the back middle in the green top. I had to call her over to join the group as she was slowly sneaking away when we gathered for the group photo. Mom Dubbe is so much fun for me to be around. And it's not just because she was 1 of only 3 people I could talk to that day! ;) I enjoy how much she laughs, the insight she has to offer, and her observations of what's going on around us. I've never had Mother-in-Law issues, and am very blessed to be Tricia's first daughter-in-law. Oh, I'm happy to share the D-i-L role with Anni now, too!

Anni's sister, Inna, is on my left. Incredibly lovely girl.

Another sweet moment during the party was when one our nephews, Gabe (4), came sneaking (hhmm, lots of sneaking in this family!) around the back of the house towards his mom, Becky with flowers behind his back!

To finish my observations of sweetness, I really loved how after Anni opened a gift, she would hug the giver of the gift. Her appreciation for each friend, or family member was evident not only by the smile (and dimples!) on her face, but in her affectionate hugs as well. I know this picture is blurry, but it's the only hug moment I caught!

Well, after the Braut Party came much more wedding stuff! I'll save that for another day though.... ;)

Braut Party

2011-08-27T18:27:00.000-04:00

Can you guess who the beautiful, blushing, bride-to-be is in this picture? If you'll look carefully, Anni is wearing the blue sash in the middle. In English the sash translates to, "Germany is searching for the super bride!" It's a take off a popular show over there called, "Germany is Searching for the Super Star". The sash was perfect for our "Hollywood" themed bridal shower that we (the Dubbe women) threw for our sis-to-be, Anni! It was a perfect theme since Tim and Anni went to Hollywood, CA for their honeymoon. If you didn't know, Chuck and I flew over to Germany the first couple weeks of August to help celebrate his brother Tim's marriage to Anni.

Yep, that's our second trip to Deutschland in less than a years time. Chuck and I were happy to go and spend time with our fam over there and help out as much as we could with the weddings (Yes, I said weddingS- more on that later). Truly, it was an honor to be there. Germany is becoming more and more apart of my heart as I get to know the culture little by little and get to know my "new" family who lives there. Truth be told, I think it's the FOOD over there that is winning my heart the most! ;)

As I sit in our cozy apartment tonight with the "hurricane" raining down around us, I am at a loss at how to proceed. Chuck and I have had the busiest three months we've ever had with more traveling than we've ever done. It was a blissful, FULL OF JOY kind of summer. A gift from my God directly to me. Traveling proved to refresh my heart and spirit as I had spent the spring mourning and grieving in a very dark place. Not that I am completely whole, I will never "get over" our loss, but my heart was ministered to in unique ways this summer by our oh-so-GOOD God.

All this to say, I don't mean to skip through our whole summer and only blog about Germany, but Germany is fresh on my mind. I contemplated posting pictures on Facebook, but that seemed to cheapen the experience. There are many memories, stories, and love associated with each picture that I can't just post the pictures without sharing at least some of my heart.

So the Braut Party (Bridal Party: the shower we threw for Anni. Germans don't throw "showers" so we improvised!) was our first big event upon arriving in Germany. It was a joy to be able to express our love for Anni in having her join our family as a Dubbe with the party. Since we have a bit of a language barrier, it was a tangible way to do just that.


"Pin the Kisses on Tim"

A game that Chuck's older sister, Becky, had debuted at the shower she had thrown for me! It was special to play it again at Anni's shower. We even used the same "Bridal Pin" that I had worn at my shower as well. It was special to start some traditions of our own!

"Hollywood Stars" game. Anni had to guess which hand prints were Timmy's! She guessed correctly!

I'll save more of my thoughts on the Braut Party for tomorrow. There's so much to say! Stay tuned!

My new sis-in-law! Isn't she just beautiful?! We are a blessed family. P.S. Notice the pin? =)

Summer Lovin'

2011-07-22T13:42:00.000-04:00

The longer I am married to this man of mine, the more I love him. It's hard to explain in words, but sometimes I love him so much that my stomach hurts. I know Chuck is God's and is only my temporary companion on this earth, but I am sure thankful the Lord has loaned him to me! We had a lovely get-away to VA Beach at the beginning of the summer. It was a special trip as we don't often get time away, just the two of us.

This was a fun place, though they spelled my name wrong, they did get the birth year correct!

It did rain on our beach day but that didn't stop us! Just being together with no agenda was the best. I absolutely LOVE spending time with this man. Even when we're just reading, my heart feels so content.

Dough Boys was a good time. Their decor reminded us of our neighbor's cool van.

Our neighbor's van back at home. This is the kind of van we wanted to ride around in on our wedding day! NOW we find one, 2 years later, ha!

For dessert we enjoyed ourselves at a local spot called "Skinny Dip". Pretty fantastic frozen yogurt!

Right before we headed home. Of course the weather was GORGEOUS the day we had to leave! All's well that ends well, I suppose! My summary of our time: VACATION IS NEVER LONG ENOUGH! =)

Ah...

2011-06-25T15:45:00.000-04:00

Ah...this pretty much sums up our wonderful vacation!

Please pray as we head into our next big summer event- our first missions trip together with the teens!

Can't wait to share all that God does!

My Love

2011-06-18T20:52:00.001-04:00

Happy Two Year Anniversary to my Love! How have two years really gone by? I still find myself having nightmares that Chuck and I are not yet married, and in these nightmares, I long to be his wife. When I wake up, it is an amazing relief to realize that I am TRULY married to the love of my life. FOR REAL. I love Charles Robert Dubbe so much. Like crazy. It's incredible to be his wife. When I walked into the sanctuary the day I married him, I could not wait to see his handsome face. I had to look as soon as I could.

Chuckie clearly felt the same way.

I suppose most married couples feel the way we do, but I still want to say it. I absolutely love spending every minute of every day with my Love. If I could, I would have him home all day every day. I enjoy his presence. I enjoy hearing him stomp (it's how he walks!) around our apartment, and rummage around in the fridge when he's bored. This man makes me so HAPPY. If this animated picture doesn't prove it, I don't know what would!

My husband is my most favorite companion. I appreciate that he exercises with me on all of his days off. Even though my exercise is "only" walking. We love talking about all of the people in our lives. Our family, our friends, our neighbors. We love reaching out to those around us and sharing Christ with them together. I'm blessed that I no longer have to live alone! I never thought this day would come.

Even when we go through the darkest of times, like losing our precious baby, Chuck is a solid force for me. When I was struggling so bad physically, he literally held me as I stumbled to the bathroom. He made the bed for me when I was too weak to pull back the covers. He set his alarm for 3 in the morning to give me my pain medication. He learned how to make a home-made heating pad, and re-heated the thing countless times for me. You don't imagine these things when standing at the altar, but they are real and they are true and God has drawn us closer together in the midst of it.

I adore watching my Babe with the teens. He is a natural-born leader and he leads so well. It's such a joy for me to see him lead a discussion, run an entire retreat, or speak to over a hundred teens on a Sunday morning and radiate with joy in doing so. It's crazy to see him pour hours of his free time into power point slides that the teens will be drawn to at an event. I love being married to a man who knows exactly who he is and exactly how God wants him to spend his life. With me and with teens!

God has blessed us together. Two years later, we are happy. A little battered, a little bruised, but wiser, stronger, and more in love than ever before.

Happy Anniversary (a couple days early!) Dovo! I love you so. And Happy Father's Day to you. I can't wait to spend eternity with our Savior and finally get to meet our very own Little Love.

(Photos again by the rock star: Joanna Nunemaker!)

Father

2011-06-18T20:07:00.001-04:00

Each year I am torn because Father's Day always lands closely with our Anniversary. We got married the day before Father's Day the year of our wedding and it made our week even more special. I can't help but think of Father's Day when I think of our wedding. Tonight I will write TWO posts. One for my Dad and one for my husband.

There were times in my life when I had to wonder if my Dad would be able to walk me down that wedding aisle. Yesterday my family was able to celebrate anew when we got the incredible news that my Dad's heart is HEALTHY! His tests showed no changes since last year at this time. Hallelujah, praise our God! I continually pray for my Dad's heart to remain healthy. I frequently wake up at night in a semi-panic and pray for God's powerful hand over my Dad's heart and health. It is a relief to be able to thank God for answering those cries today.

I will be forever grateful that my Dad was, in fact, able to walk me down my wedding aisle. He still likes to say that walking me down the aisle was "the shortest walk of his life".

My Dad is so sweet. It seems that after each of his heart surgeries he became softer and softer. The Amos family secret though, is that Dad was always the softie. ;) He often surprises me with my most favorite Tasty Kakes in the world: Chocolate Juniors. It always means so much. When I turned 16, my Dad gave me a heart-shaped locket that I still have and love. I remember almost crying when he gave it to me. One of my favorite purple sweaters was picked out for me by my Dad- I love sharing with people that he gave it to me.

My Dad loves to laugh! We can often by found laughing together. Whether it's at my Mom who does something hilarious by accident, a ridiculous app that is secretly added to my phone, a dumb Youtube video, or watching our beloved Chail in action, we love to laugh together!

My Dad took me out on little dates starting when I was just a little girl. I remember sitting at a high table at McDonald's eating pancakes off of a Styrofoam plate and reveling in it. Just me and my Dad. On beach vacations, we used to hop in my Dad's truck, just the two of us, crank up the oldies station, roll those windows down and cruise to Wawa for our sausage biscuits and coffee. As I've gotten older, we've moved our pancake dates from McDonald's to Perkins, who Dad claims, have the best pancakes on the planet. I agree!

My Dad is a GREAT hugger. Countless moments exist in my memory of my Dad holding me as I cried over fears, pains, heart aches, or failures. Countless memories exist of my Dad crying right along with me. He always holds on tight during those moments and I can feel how much he loves and adores me. Now that we are hours apart, when we get to see each other, there is nothing like those Dad-hugs.

My Dad has always made our family a priority. And even now, he is dedicated to my new husband and me together. He makes trips to visit us, sends emails, texts, and calls just to check in. When my Dad got the package in the mail announcing that Chuck and I were going to have our first baby, he cried tears of joy. When we had to call weeks later to tell him our baby was with Jesus, he cried tears of sorrow. I don't think he cares about anything more than his family.

Father, I feel the same way! I'm still your girl, and always will be. I love you with all my heart. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

(All pictures were taken by our beloved Joanna Nunemaker!)

Pray for this weekend.

2011-06-03T14:13:00.001-04:00

We are getting ready to leave in a little bit. This weekend, Chuck and I are going on a retreat with our Semp group. This includes 15 teens and 4 of us leaders. Pray that God does GREAT things this weekend, as I know He will!

This retreat is designed to get us together as a true team, and to get to know each other a lot better. There are three 8th graders coming on the trip that we really don't know at all since they just graduated from Jr. High. Chuck has been working hard at putting this retreat together. He will be speaking 6 times, and then has to speak again on Sunday morning to the whole youth group.

Pray for strength, and especially wisdom for Chuckie! Pray as he teaches the teens how to share the gospel with others.

Pray for me to get to know the girls better, especially the 8th graders.

Pray that God works in hearts and that it would be a valuable weekend together. Pray that we begin to feel confidant about sharing the gospel.

Thank you so much for praying for us! We rest in the power of those prayers!

Big Trip!

2011-06-03T14:07:00.000-04:00

Well, I never thought I’d be going on another High School mission’s trip. But here I am, working alongside Chuck with teens at our church, and of course that means summer trips! Chuck and I are leading a group of 15 teenagers to attend a conference in Chicago, “Students Equipped to Minister to Peers- SEMP”. SEMP will be held on the campus of Moody Bible Institute in downtown Chicago. The teens will be trained in apologetics, and will be able to practice sharing God’s love with people on the streets of the city.

I am now inviting and asking you to pray for Chuck and me as we lead our group from June 26-July 2. Please pray for these five areas:

Pray for protection on our marriage. Pray that God unites us, as we will both be staying with teens for the week.

Pray for God to give me an excitement and passion in my heart to serve the teen girls all week long, especially when we’re all tired.

Pray for courage from God as street witnessing is intimidating and scary for me.

Pray for strength from God. We will be getting minimal sleep. Also, our trip ends with a camp-out back home in VA with the upcoming freshman class.

Pray for open doors and opportunities with unsaved friends at home in VA. I would love to meet more unsaved people.

If you would like to pray for Chuck and me, we would be honored.

Lastly, we would like to thank you for praying for us with the recent loss of our baby. It has been so painful but we have felt God’s peace through your prayers for us. Pray for my heart in particular at SEMP as I was anticipating with joy being about 5 months pregnant. It is hard to move forward without our precious one.

Thank you for your love and prayers. We love you, too!

You Be The Judge

2011-05-24T13:04:00.002-04:00

The other day it was beautiful outside. And by beautiful I mean it was a nice, HOT day in the 80's. Chuck and I had spent our week with a lot of different people, serving at different events, and were finally allotted an afternoon just for us.

Since I had never been, we headed over to Old Town Alexandria, the third oldest historic district in the nation. A neighborhood once home to George Washington and Robert E. Lee! I love the history around here! We found a great parking spot and strolled up and down the historic cobblestone streets marveling at the buildings, enjoying the interesting people all around us, and of course wandered down to the waterfront of the Potomac River. The river boats were my favorite site, I think. Those big paddelwheel boats fascinate me. Chuck mentioned how you feel like you're in a Mark Twain book and that's exactly what I was thinking, too. See the "Cherryblossom" in the background? Super cute.

Since the weather was so perfect, we absolutely had to get ice cream cones! We both ordered BABY cones, but I ask you, which cone looks "baby" to you? And which cone looks like a TOTAL rip off?! I'll give you a hint, the girl serving CHUCK his cone must have found my husband a lot more attractive than she did me!

With or without a big scoop of ice cream, it was quite a quaint afternoon. There is something so relaxing about walking around, taking in the sites, and best of all, enjoying my favorite person in all the world.

Hobby Lobby

2011-05-19T14:39:00.000-04:00

We have a hobby! It all started back when I was living with Luke, Trisha, Chail, and Philly. Back before the days of Rocky came along. Back when Chuck and I were only good 'ol boyfriend and girlfriend. Actually, I believe we were engaged. I'm getting off topic. Thinking back on the days when we began is such a happy place. But anyway.

When Chuck graduated from Grad school and received his Masters degree, his family threw a big party for him. I wanted to make him a special cake for the occasion. At the time I was under the impression that carrot cake was his favorite kind. (Later on once we were married I found out in a large group of people that carrot cake was NOT, in fact, my husband's favorite cake!) So I made this absolutely fabulous Paula Deen recipe with butter cream icing. To die for. Absolutely to die for. The only problem was, I had and still have zero decorating skills. Chuck insisted that decorating his own cake would be totally fine. I felt funny about it, but it was going to be the main dessert in front of his whole family and I wanted it to look great.

That's when our hobby began. I bake, he decorates!

A few weeks after the big Grad party, it was Chail's first brithday! Who better to make my Little Love his very first birthday cake than his adoring Auntie?! At the time, Chail was crazy about the show, "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" so Mickey became the party theme. Again, I baked and my faithful sidekick decorated. I'd have to say the Mickey cake is probably my favorite we've done. Chail got part of Mickey's ear, the cupcake, to eat all by himself. YUM!

Then for Rocky's first birthday, and Chail's third birthday, Chuck and I again tag-teamed it and made a cookie cake decorated with a monkey. That one looked awesome, but we forgot our camera. Boo. Sadly, it tasted really bad because I over-cooked it. Double boo.

I decided to redeem myself and perfect the cookie cake. We went to our friend's house for dinner last week and tested our skills again. Voila! The cake turned out fabulously! Chewy, gooey, chocolately, and definitely chippy. Oh yeah! My Mom sent us a new frosting recipe that worked really well for decorating. We also bought cake decorating tools which helped us a lot. Up until the new tools we were just using plastic bags with not-so-great taped in tips.

Our friends have 6 kids with another on the way, so we wanted to make the cake with each member of the family represented. The kids loved it! There may have even been arguments over who got what piece. ;)

This week we made a Spring themed cookie cake for our small group. It was a big, fun hit. Now we just have to wait for another excuse to keep on baking and decorating!

Oh These Times Are Hard

2011-05-13T15:18:00.001-04:00

(This post was originally posted on Wednesday 5/11, but got deleted some how. Sad. Thankfully a friend had saved it so now I am re-posting. (Thanks Laura!!!) I feel bad that previous comments got deleted. So, here it is again. I will post again soon, and hopefully won't be such a downer. ;)

Anyone know that song? Whenever it comes on the radio, I just blast and sing. The lyrics go something like, "Oh these times are hard, they're making me crazy...." And I could be wrong. It's happened before where I sing a song one way, but the actual lyrics are completely different than what I had been singing. In this case, I am very happy singing my version of the song, because THESE TIMES ARE HARD.

It's been 2 months and 4 days since we found out our baby didn't have a heartbeat. 2 months?! Could 2 months have really gone by? What's hard about time is my thoughts turn to, "Our baby should be 2 months more developed", or "I would be showing by now", or "The morning sickness would have been behind me". And what's even harder is the women I am surrounded by whose babies ARE developing healthily, who ARE showing, and who DO have morning sickness behind them.

It's the women at church who were chasing after their little ones at church on Mother's Day. The pregnant girls who were standing holding their tummies, glowing from happiness. Those women make the healing process so unbearably difficult at times. But what can be done about that? Absolutely nothing. I realize I sound completely selfish, but that is not my heart. My heart believes it's a joyous miracle for those other women. I would never want to take that away from them or wish them in the same position as me.

It's just the irony of their joy and their tummies are such a torturous REMINDER of the loss of our own baby. My arms absolutely ache to hold our baby. I can't even type that sentence without breaking down into tears. I didn't get a chance to hold our child, or to look into his or her face and kiss their cheeks. I didn't get to change their diapers or swaddle them in a cozy blanket. I didn't get to feed them or rock them to sleep. I didn't get to tell our baby HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM OR HER How much I still love. How much I will always love. I never got to say it to their little ears. And since I'm already weeping, I might as well just finish with a bang.

There was nothing I could do as a Mother to protect the life of my own baby. There was nothing I could do. Nothing. And that pain is something I know I will be familiar with for the rest of my life, and right now it's welcoming me to Motherhood in a very cruel way.

I do want to share Jesus...the good news!

2011-04-12T12:20:00.002-04:00

Finding out that my Doctor was switching practices was a big bummer. I felt an emotional attachment to her on a number of levels. Not the least of these being I hadn't shared Christ's love with her yet. This led me to my typical best course of action: I wrote her a letter. I thanked her for numerous personal things, and went on to tell her how God loved her. Since I am apart of a fantastic church body, Reston Bible Church, I also invited her to come anytime. The letter got put in the mail, with high hopes it would actually reach my Doctor before she left.

Weeks later, I was still going into the office every week for blood work (still am for that matter, what a loooooong process- have I mentioned how long this process is?!). Last Monday I sat in my usual gray blood-drawing seat. I am so not a fan of those seats. You know the ones with the arm "rest" thing that comes down in front of you and traps you onto the seat so you can't get out? My arm never feels at rest there, that's for sure. Ugh. While waiting for the inevitable, the office manager wandered in to check in on how I was doing. I'll call her Sara.

Sara was full of kindness and sorrow for me. Very touching. She began to share with me that she's not a spiritual person but during times like losing a baby she has to wonder about such things. Ding ding ding! I LOVE TO SHARE JESUS! And God gave me the most wonderful chance to tell her how good God had been to me during such a sad time. I got to share how God had been my comfort. She then questioned how I could still feel so sad if God was my comfort? In so many words, I told her honestly that God was my strength for each day and that was enough, even though it still hurt.

THEN ladies and gentlemen, Sara said to me, "Didn't you write the Dr. a letter?" She continued, "It was the most beautiful letter. And didn't you invite her to your church? What church was that?" Oh my. As we continued to talk, I told her all about RBC with joy in my heart. I got to tell her how God had used the people of that church to really lift me up during this time. Sara then said, "Well, the Dr. definitely got your letter before she left." Hallelujah.

Nothing forced, nothing unnatural. Just God opening wide the door to a great conversation during a time and in a place I would never have been able to predict. This is exactly how I love to share the love of Jesus. God has used this scenario to lift my spirits and remind me that I do love to talk about Him. Just because I don't enjoy being guilted in to sharing the gospel with people, doesn't mean I don't love sharing HIM!

Thank you God for such an amazing opportunity.

I do want to share Jesus...

2011-04-04T16:10:00.000-04:00

Lately Chuck and I have attended conferences, camps, or heard speakers that have frankly made me feel like the worst Christian ever. I was literally sitting at a conference where I was told to get out my cell phone immediately and call an unsaved friend right then and there and share the gospel with them. Excuse me?

Now please hear my heart, I WANT TO SHARE THE LOVE OF JESUS WITH PEOPLE. Yes, I do! Especially with friends that I care deeply for. Even with strangers for that matter. I want to share about what God has done in my life and how He can do that in their's too. But I don't not want to shove it super awkwardly at them with some random phone call. I will say that I called my friend and invited her to go for coffee instead, thus building a relationship with her first. I've been pretty down in the dumps about what a bad witness I am though. OK, I don't really believe that about myself, but that's how these speakers have made me feel.

Well today I had lunch with a friend. I had shared with her my regrets at not telling my Doctor about God in my life before she switched practices. She had been the one to first tell me that our baby's heart was not beating and that it looked like I would miscarry. I can't imagine how she must have felt when she did the ultrasound, and could not find a heart beat. I had no clue. I was gazing at the ultrasound screen mesmerized by the very first siting of our deeply beloved baby. It was exciting for me! And I was feeling a little upset because I had told Chuck not to come as I "knew the appointment would be no big deal." In my naivety I thought, "Well, he'll get to be here next week to see this!" and went on with gazing at our incredible child. But the Doctor knew right away something was wrong. As she shared the news that would absolutely rip my heart out, she did it with kindness, understanding, and such warmth.

I sat vulnerably on the table covered in that humbling little sheet and silently tried not to cry. Tears were unavoidable, and my Doctor sat there with me as they flowed freely down my cheeks. How must she have felt? I could muster no audible word besides, "OK", and I'm not even sure if that's technically a real word.

After that heartbreaking appointment my Doctor shared confidentially with us that she would be moving to a new practice. The disappointment and sadness kicked in right away. I was touched that she shared this news with Chuck and I. We were able to express our gratitude to her. She said she really liked me and that greatly touched my heart .

***

I'm not a fan of super long posts and this has gone on long enough. Too be continued...

5 Years

2011-03-27T20:24:00.000-04:00

Chuck reminded me last night that today is my 5 year blog anniversary. It's rather humbling to have a 5 year blog anniversary of a blog entitled "Full of Joy" on a day when I feel not-so-full-of-joy. I want to be. I want to have a joyful heart. I want to choose joy in the midst of sorry because I know my hope is in Jesus. My Savior. Now is the time when I'm supposed to be joyous in the midst of sorrow, right? And like I said, I want that. I want to be that girl.

My soul seems to be at war with my brain. The big brain vs. soul brawl of 2011. My soul says to weep, mourn, wail, and let it rain. My head says to get back on the horse (OK, dumb illustration because the only time I attempted to ride a horse at the tender age of 10, the stupid said horse tried to bite me. I've never been back on a horse since. I sat in a mini-van with the mom of the birthday girl for the entire party.). Or at least to jump back into my normal routine. But when my soul tries I am plagued. Destined to stay home, which really is where I want to be. I find relief in being in my own home, not having to face the common public. Not yet. I'm not ready. It's just too much.

What I'm trying to seek God for right now is this: God, is it OK if I take a backseat on life right now? It is OK if I remain secluded in the safety of my happy home with my Love? Or do I need to dive back into the reality that is my life? Or more accurately my old life. Life today is very, very different than it was 2 months ago. Life as I knew it will not be the same. Maybe I'm just not ready to face my new life. My changed life.

What is at the top of the list of things I'm learning is that losing a baby is a looooong PROCESS. I read that on a medical website, and wish I had been prepared sooner. I'm still struggling physically. Not wanting to freak out those stray few male readers, I'll omit the gory details but I'm tired of the physical toll. Tired of the pain, tired of taking Advil like candy- when it seems to have the same effect that candy would. Gone are the days of Percocet. Oh sweet Percocet how I miss you.

I feel bad being a downer. I honestly do NOT want to be the black rain cloud girl. I just don't know how to be real and honest without coating it with sugar. It would have to be fake sugar. I'm reading a fabulous book "Choosing to See", written by Mary Beth Chapman. Her husband, Steven, writes the foreword. In it he says, He (Dan Allender) talked about how for many Christians, sorrow and pain are seldom embraced by those experiencing it but rather "often denied or swept under the spiritual rug of 'God's sovereignty'."

I am desperately trying not to sweep my sorrow and pain under a spiritual rug. I am trying to navigate my way through the quicksand and keep my heart open to that still, small voice.

Grief

2011-03-23T16:50:00.001-04:00

Grief is a tricky beast. I'm not sure I even want to try to describe it, but I'm sitting here typing so there must be something inside this writer's soul that needs to work it's way out. Is describing grief like mixing oil and water? Because oil and water can not be mixed.

A few weeks ago, my personal D-day actually, I was at a Pot Luck. Chuck and I had been pretty excited about it. I was in the kitchen of a friend's house mixing up the dressing for the Oriental Salad I was going to serve. Since we don't own a salad dressing shaker (what the heck would that be called anyway?), I always use our Margarita shaker to mix dressing. It called for EVOO (Mom, that means Extra Virgin Olive Oil). When I went to wash the shaker out, the oil would not- could not- be moved. I scrubbed and scrubbed and used really hot water. But, no. The oil stayed put. I stuffed it in our bag and went on with the Pot Luck as usual.

Now this is a strange component about grief. I'm thinking about that Margarita shaker and the oil not mixing with water. And it was that very same Pot Luck where I started bleeding- which led to the loss of our baby- and had to leave early. That very same Pot Luck when every time I think about it, I want to burst into tears. And every time I think of that stupid Oriental Salad, I feel sick to my stomach.

So we returned home with instructions from a nurse to rest, and be assured that the baby would be OK. Of course I began scrubbing that dumb Margarita shaker again to try and get the oil out. Another component of grief: people do the strangest things. Like scrub Margarita shakers to get the oil out. Because really people don't want to pay attention to the doom residing in their soul, choking them. They just want to scrub. In the end, a paper towel did the trick. Until I moved on to the actual salad bowl and found more oil. I gave up.

So why try to describe grief? Especially when it's like attempting to mix oil and water?

I'm certainly not looking for sympathy votes as I write. I'm not. So many other people are grieving, too. I just want to tackle this beast of grief. What is it? How is it taking it's toll on me? On Chuck? Grief is so different for every person and has so many different faces.

For instance, Chuck and I both lost our very first baby, our only offspring. But the way we have handled it has been as equally different as being male and female. How can I lie in bed, suffering- crying the morning away into my pillow, while he goes to work and tells people he's doing "well"? It's because grief rears it's ugly head so differently in so many different ways for every different person. My way is not better than Chuck's way and vice versa.

That's all I have to say for now. It's time to go heat up left overs for dinner. And Lord knows it won't be anything to do wtih EVOO.

Ickies.

2011-02-28T17:18:00.000-05:00

The sickie ickies have taken over my body. Chuck and I went on a 4 day, very loooooooooong and exhausting teen retreat over a week ago, and I haven't been the same since. The cool news is, I went skiing for the very first time! A few of the girls and I took a lesson together and really had an awesome experience. For those of you familiar with good 'ol NEPA, we went to Elk Mountain. Elk is particularly special in my heart because that's where I'd go with family and friends for years, but only during the Fall. We'd go to a Fall festival there and then ride the ski lift to the top to take in the gorgeous view.

Since NEPA is where I grew up, it was very weird having my worlds collide. Especially when we took 4 buses of teens to Clarks Summit to eat dinner. My parents joined in with us at Taco Bell and it was absolutely surreal. I told as many teens as I could, "This is my home town! This is where I grew up!" Truly crazy. Loved seeing my parents, loved hanging out with the teens, loved skiing, but hated getting sick.

Thankfully I have the best husband-nurse on the planet. Since our February has been super busy, he has more-than-enough hours to stay home with me. I love it. (He just came home with an Auntie Anne's for me.) Even if I'm just watching a Netflix and he's reading, I just like having him there. Oh, and because I've succumbed to way too much day-time television, I happen to know that both Oprah AND Hugh Laurie have the ickes, too.

Precious Times

2011-02-02T13:21:00.002-05:00

Chuck is the best at making me feel super special on my birthday. He wraps gifts so beautifully! Almost makes me not want to open them. Almost. This picture was taken the morning of my birthday, right before we left for church. I loved that he picked out this wrapping paper with the coordinating gift bag. The pattern was just adorable. Plus, it matched the coat he got me for Christmas. =)

Having a birthday on a Sunday is interesting, especially when Sundays are usually pretty busy days for us. On this day, Chuck made me breakfast and then took me to Starbucks before we went to AM Gap (our teen group). What could be better than starting the day with a Starbucks Green Tea Soy Latte?! Later in the morning, as I sat with some girls at a table in our youth room Chuck gave the announcements. When he was done he asked the teens to guess who the person on the next slide was:

One of the teens yelled out, "Your wife!" and he was correct. There I was in all my 4-year-old-glory up on the 2 big screens. I was totally surprised, and really touched. All I could do was laugh at the little picture and smile til my cheeks hurt. There is just something about being remembered and acknowledged that gets me deep down in my heart and makes it soar. I was instructed to stand while 100 and some teens sang to me. Thankfully I still had my Starbucks cup in hand- a great security blanket. I truly felt on top of the world. My husband singled me out in front of all those teens and adults and essentially said, "My wife matters to me." What a gift.

Once AM Gap ended, my friend Jessi came into the youth room, gave me a huge hug, wished me Happy Birthday and told me she loved me. I could have cried. And then she added a sweet card and gift on top of all that. I am so very blessed.

Later that night Chuck, and our close friends Ben and Jess took me to dinner at Big Bowl. The very same Big Bowl I had experienced about 6 years ago under not-so-great circumstances. How sweet to be back there in a whole new context, married to the love of my life, celebrating with wonderful friends. Thank you, Jesus- my sweet Redeemer.

After dinner, Skpying with my parents while I opened their gifts was on the agenda. They completely surprised me with these jeans I had been wanting for well over 6 months that were impossible to find anywhere. My parents are pretty hard core shoppers. Leave it to them to find the magic jeans. Whoo hoo! Later Chuck, Ben, Jess, and I had some cake given to us by Chuck's sister. There was certainly love coming from all over the place! I won't mention all the precious moments from the day, or all the people who touched my heart, but know that I am overflowing with thankfulness.

Oh, and yes. Those beautifully wrapped presents contained amazingly sweet gifts. Another day. Another post. =)

Congrats!

2011-01-24T19:17:00.001-05:00

When we (Dan, Mom, Renate, Chuck and I) pulled into the Dubbe's driveway, I all of the sudden felt this nervous excitement. I told everybody as I climbed out of the back seat, "Geez, I don't know why I'M nervous!" When we walked in the front door, there began the trail of pink rose petals. That pretty much confirmed my suspicions, but you never know. I stopped by the little girls room (AFTER I took my shoes off, of course ;) as soon as we got back though so I missed the big announcement!

When I went into the dining room, Anni (Tim's girlfriend) and Tim were out on the porch so I followed them to see what they were looking at. When I glanced over the railing, there was a huge German sentence dug out into the snow, all lit up with candles. I was so excited and frustrated all at once. Practically jumping up and down I said, "WHAT DOES IT SAY?!" Timmy beamed at me and translated, "It says 'Will you be my wife?' " (Commence screaming.) AHHHHH!! I flung my arms around Anni and we hugged and laughed and teared up and did all the girlie reactions that could be expected. She immediately showed me her left hand and we squealed and laughed so more. CHUCK'S LITTLE BROTHER IS GETTING MARRIED!!!! (The 2nd to youngest brother. Have I mentioned Chuck is one of 5 boys??)

When the whole fam finally met back up in the dinning room we all stood in a circle (I don't know why, I guess we were just so excited!) and Anni burst into tears. So, of course, I burst into tears and we all started laughing. Anni said (in German) "Group hug!" and hug we did.

It was really, really amazing to be there to celebrate with them. We all sat around the big dinning room table (I love their dinning room table) and ate pizza. Side note: Germans serve hard boiled eggs on their pizzas and their "pepperoni" which isn't the kind we usually have, is fantastic! I think I can leave the egg pizza in Germany, though. ;) So anyway, we all sat there for a long time just talking, and laughing. We were all so excited you could just feel the buzz in the room. What an honor to be able to spend those precious moments with them. It really was....what other word could I use but this....SO SPECIAL!

So yes, Michelle, you are correct! Someone DID get engaged! We can't wait to watch them get married this August....back to Germany we go. WHOO HOO!

Congrats Timmy and Anni, we love you both very much!

Clue

2011-01-23T22:30:00.000-05:00

For Sat 1/22

2011-01-23T17:04:00.000-05:00

Can anyone guess what the mystery night turned out to be?!

P.S. Your guess doesn't count if you already know the mystery! =)

Mysterious Evening

2011-01-21T14:58:00.001-05:00

During our second week in Germany, Chuck's 2nd to youngest brother Tim asked if the whole family could leave the house on Wednesday night. We all, of course, had our suspicions but upon interrogating Timmy, he wouldn't crack. So on that particular night we all trooped out of the house, except for Jamie who was allowed to stay in her cage. Dan, Mom, Chuck, Renate and I all piled into the car and went to visit Bad Kissingen. This is another town they used to live in. Though the night was frigid, the coldest night that stands out to me, it was impossible not to enjoy the evening. What with being around family while exploring an adorable German town, it was the perfect way to "kill some time" while we waited on Timmy and his secret plan.

Our first stop was a bakery-cafe. Thankfully it was warm so we were able to thaw out a bit. Plus Dan treated us all to hot drinks and pastries. Now I love Starbucks, and you all know where my loyalties lie, but Starbucks pastries don't hold a candle to pastries over in Germany. Chuck and I shared some sort of flaky, gooey, nutty ensemble that went fantastically with my loose leaf hot tea, and his espresso. The hot tea came in this clear, double-walled cup thing that was super cool. Yes, I do realize that the majority of my posts are about food, but can you blame me? It was all too good not to talk about!

After the bakery, we sauntered over to this huge building that is popular in that part of the country. It's a place that people come to use the spas, find healing, attend a concert, or theater. We walked by this interesting fountain that was flowing with "healing water". It was just pouring freely and looked so enticing. My family suggested I try it. I should have been a little bit more in tune that I was the ONLY one curious about tasting the "healing water". I leaned over very carefully, stuck my tongue out gracefully, and this putrid liquid washed over my poor, unsuspecting tongue. I gagged like crazy. And I don't even feel healed! My oh-so-supportive family found this to be quite humorous. I'm a fool.

After that it was finally time to order pizza, pick it up, and head back home. We were all so curious and really excited as we anticipated what we might find upon arriving back at the house....

Cool sleigh at the spa/theater building place.

It's Worth It

2011-01-20T23:53:00.000-05:00

The Doener. It's worth 2 posts in a row. Plus Renate is way too cute in this picture. =)

Date with Renate

2011-01-19T16:08:00.001-05:00

One fun afternoon Chuck, Renate, and I went out for lunch so I could experience a Doener Kebab. Though actually Turkish in origin, Doeners are still a yummy German must-try. Just thinking back on our little date makes me want to eat one again right now. This was also where I got to try Schwip Schwap, a cola/orange drink. I would liken a Doener to an enormous pita-type bread (so delish!) stuffed with meat, lettuce, tomatoes, and this fabulous white saucy stuff. Oh and when I say enormous, I mean enormous. Just my style. This girl does not like to go hungry. =) While the three of us chowed on our meals, we just chatted the time away.

Afterwards, we proceeded to shop in the quaint town of Bad Neustadt. Since this is the town near where Renate lives, she was able to show us all the fun places to stop into. Mueller was one of my favorite stores. I think Renate giggled every time I tried to pronounce it. We had many giggling moments over my horrible attempts at speaking German. So Mueller is a 4 level Target type store, but it has much more unique items. It was just fun to wander around in, smell a ton of perfumes, check out the chocolates, admire the expensive dishes, and chat along the way. Renate is very easy-going and a joy to be around. We have such a great time laughing and shopping.

Here we are in the middle of town, lazily wandering the streets....what could be better on a cold, snowy, German day?

Meet Wido

2011-01-18T16:56:00.000-05:00

Wido (pronounced "Vitto") is the friend that Chuck has known the longest. They met in 4th grade, which I find completely adorable. We made arrangements to meet up with Wido and Lisa (his girlfriend) at Wido's parent's house. The same house Wido grew up in and where Chuck spent many hours playing as a kid. It was really fun to drive by the Dubbe's old house as well. Finally all the stories Chuck has told me began to take shape in my mind. Experiencing this quaint little German town was wonderful. I have to admit, I never usually get car sick, but driving around in German villages brings car sickness to a whole other level.

But back to Wido and Lisa. Chuck and I were both pretty nervous to meet up with them. Wido claimed to speak English well, but I found other people's definitions of "speaking English well" to vary a whole lot. When we arrived in the town, Chuck was so excited, like a little boy going to an amusement park. He was proudly showing off this old building and that old building, pointing out places they used to play or reek havoc, and happy to find Wido's parent's house the same as it had been all those years ago.

Wido answered the door right away with a huge smile on his face, arms extended for hugs. Very sweet. Very friendly. So easy to see why him and Chuck were best buddies. My heart was just instantly warmed by his openness and obvious guy-bond with Chuck.

True to his word, Wido DID speak English very well. He introduced me to his parents and girl friend with flawless English. I was thrilled to be able to communicate! A unique German custom is that they all take their shoes off at the door. People often wear "house shoes" (slippers) around. True to the custom, Wido's Mom gave me a pair of slippers to lounge around in. I have to admit, there is something about wearing my own shoes that gives me comfort. Taking my shoes off at the door gave me a little sense of vulnerability for some reason. I don't know why, but I like keeping my own shoes on! Still, I found that custom to be very cute.

It was really enjoyable meeting Wido's parents. Though I couldn't communicate with them, it was clear on their faces they were so happy to see Chuck and his Frau. They even gave us a bottle of Gluhwein, whoo hoo! The parents chatted with us for a little while, and then left us 2 couples to talk on our own.

We all sat at this cute little nook table, that was already set with little dessert dishes and coffee mugs. Another common German tradition is to have "coffee and cake" in the afternoon. Now THAT tradition I could get used to! The 4 of us sat around talking, laughing, and getting to know each other for a couple hours and had a fantastic time. I LOVED learning about their culture, jobs, schooling, home life, relationship, and all our differences and similarities. It was fascinating. Lisa also spoke English well and was such a sweet girl. What a special afternoon.

Fun facts you might not know about Chuck. A lot of his life he was called "Charly", so Wido found it hilarious that he is going by "Chuck" now. Germans can not pronounce Chuck well, so Charly it was. I loved hearing them say "Charly" all afternoon. I also learned that little Charly had somewhat of a mean streak in him. HaHa! I suppose being one of seven kids, being mean to other kids was his way of getting attention. Wido said he was never mean to Charly. ;)

Like I said, it was a fantastic afternoon and I look forward to the day we get to hang out with Wido and Lisa again!

Silly

2011-01-17T13:07:00.000-05:00

It's fun to be silly. Especially in Germany. =)

For Day 7

2011-01-17T12:55:00.000-05:00

The craziness of Sunday kept me from remembering to post yesterday. Here is my "Sunday post"...

Chuck and Renate at the Christmas market. This was such a cool place I just had to post another picture! I thought the church in the background was beautiful and authentically German.

Jaden

2011-01-15T13:11:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday, December 22, while we were in Germany, Chuck's oldest sister, Becky had her second baby. Before we left for Germany, Chuck and I were totally packed and ready to head to the hospital (2 hours away) where Becky planned to give birth. Becky had asked me to be in the room with her when the time came and I was so honored. I really wanted to be there for her. Obviously her husband, Dave was going to be with her, too but I wanted her to have my woman support. God had other plans. So it goes when it comes to babies.

So little Jaden came into this world on our third day over there. The whole family was constantly checking Twitter and Facebook for updates. When Dave first posted pictures we were all squealing, ooing, and awing over our precious new family member. (OK, maybe just the girls were squealing...) Then on Christmas day we got to Skype and actually see the new guy. He is such a doll.

After we got back Chuck and I went down to visit for a couple days. Thought I would post a picture from our time there. Even though it wasn't taken in Germany, Jaden was very much a part of our Germany trip with lots of thought and love.

The Boys

2011-01-14T13:56:00.000-05:00

Growing up, I always thought it would be fun to marry a guy with brothers. I had no idea I'd marry a guy who was one of 5 boys (as well as 2 girls). As it turns out, it's a lot of fun having Chuck's brothers around. And it's even more fun watching Chuck with his brothers. In this picture, Adam is holding the dog (Cute Jamie), Tim is standing behind Chuck, and Dan (Chuck's Dad) is the back left guy.

Dan is one of those "Guy's Guy" kind of guys. Know what I mean? He likes to hike and climb mountains, work on cars, fix things around the house, ride motorcycles, and in his opinion, there is no worthy computer if it's not a Mac. I appreciate that Dan has passed on some of those skills to Chuck. Chuck has learned how to fix a lot of things around the house, including car stuff. He is handy with tools which means a lot to me because so is my own Dad. Chuck also has learned to be a strong leader because of his Dad. He is a take-charge kind of guy and I love that about him. I'm thankful for the things his own Dad taught him.

Adam, the youngest brother, attends Liberty University and I've probably gotten to know him better than the other brothers. Obviously because I've spent the most time with him. He has stayed with us a few times and there have been many family gatherings together. I enjoy Adam's humor. He is also a great shopping buddy. Adam is a talented artist and quite creative. Most time spent with Adam consists of laughing and goofing off, which comes in handy during boring moments- waiting for certain family members to finish talking after church, for example. Oh, and he always smells good, too.

Tim is older than Adam and most of the time they're like 2 peas in a pod. Tim lives in Germany and attends a University there. The Germany school system is confusing so I won't bother to try and explain it. He is aspiring to be a teacher- physical education and English. He spent lots of hours in the attic lifting weights (in the freezing cold, might I add), drinking gross protein shake things, and of course with the love of his life, Anni. Tim is also very creative and won the award for wrapping the prettiest package on Christmas day. He has a very sweet spirit and is a natural spiritual leader. It's been awesome to see God work in his life since I've met him. Oh and he spent about 9 hours in Frankfurt patiently waiting for Chuck and I to arrive (THANK YOU Timmy!). More to come on him later...

I love the boys in Chuck's family, including Mark and Matt who we hope will be there next time we're all together!

Frohe Weihnachten

2011-01-13T15:41:00.001-05:00

This means "Merry Christmas" in German- a phrase I came to know well. Christmas day was really quaint, just how you would imagine Christmas day to be. Lots of snow and all. First thing in the morning, Chuck shared that his Mom had set out "Kristollen" which is another super yummy traditional German cake thing. It could be described as a type of fruit cake, but in the States that would be considered disgusting. Let me just tell you, this was no American fruit cake. Kristollen is like a dry pound cake with some chunks of yumminess in it. (Raisins? Nuts?) Then it's covered with loads of powdered sugar. Oh happy day.

Chuck's Mom really is the ideal Mother-in-Law. I love her so much. I've learned recently that Christmas happens because of the MOM of the house. I've seen it with my own Mom, and then I witnessed it with my MIL as well. She was working all day to make Christmas happen. From breakfast, to snacks, (She was always whipping some new snack item out of the pantry! How do Moms do that?!), to drinks, to all the gifts she gave, to making the main meal, to dragging out the left overs later, and then off course, all the clean up. Whew. There is so much work to be done for Moms on Christmas day. They really do make it all happen. THANK YOU MOM! (And even though I wasn't home, thanks to my own Mama for all those years of making it happen.)

This was my first Christmas away from my family in 28 years. It really couldn't have been more wonderful. Opening presents with the family was truly tons of fun. I absolutely loved seeing what gifts people gave to each other. I love the thought that goes into each gift. I guess that's why gifts is my main love language. Gifts mean so MUCH to me and I enjoy watching others receive gifts. It shows how much the family loves each other. Since Chuck and the majority of his family are perfectionists, you should have seen the packages they created. It's like a profession for them. Unlike my family, we're ALL about the wonder of the GIFT BAG.

One of my most treasured gifts from Chuck's parents was a gift bag (I think the ONLY gift bag used that day, haha!) full of ornaments. Each ornament had a story. I so enjoyed hearing Chuck's Mom describe to us why she gave each one. Some she hand-crafted (Poor Chuck, his wife does not have crafting skills like his Mother!), some were uniquely German, and some were made by another person. Oh my soul. That's right, ornaments that little Chuckie made himself as a child. My heart just melted to the ground when I pulled out what is now my favorite ornament. A clear plastic Christmas tree that Chuckie had colored himself, and the icing on the cake- his little Kindergarten picture glued to the front! I could cry at how cute he was. It was incredibly sweet, thoughtful, and generous of his Mom to give those ornaments to me. I will treasure them always.

One final thought about Christmas day. Tim (one of Chuck's younger brothers who lives in Germany) had his girl friend, (more to come about this topic) Anni join in the festivities with the family for the first time. It was neat for Anni and I to share our first Christmas with the Dubbes together. Though there was a lot of German/English translating going on throughout the day, it didn't stop us from growing more in love as a family. Frohe Weihnachten!

Me, Mom (The Christmas Super Hero), Renate, Anni- the girls! =)
P.S. The sweater and necklace I'm wearing is from Chuck's oldest sister, Becky. She has amazing taste! More to come on her later, too. ;)

Christmas Eve

2011-01-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

Another very special evening. I should probably stop saying that as pretty much every day we spent in Germany with Chuck's family was special. It is worth mentioning that Chuck and I did not "sight see". Sight seeing was definitely an option, but those types of outings don't particularly interest me. What I desired to do was spend time with Chuck's family, doing their usual life things. Sitting around the dinner table was my most treasured time. We went to Germany because that's where Chuck's family happens to be from, the fact that it was a different country was just icing on the cake.

Christmas Eve was my first visit with the church Chuck grew up with. People that have know him since he was very young, and people that have watched him grow up. It was really sweet to meet them. This is the church where Chuck's dad (Dan) is a Pastor, the reason why the family is in Germany. Chuck and I established a routine. He would speak in German to them and I would listen for when he said "meine Frau". On que I would say "Ich heisse Abby". They almost always laughed in surprise that I was attempting to speak in German. I also knew how to say "Merry Christmas" and "Thank you" which I said about a thousand times because that's pretty much the only German I was capable of. I think they appreciated it.

So the Christmas Eve service was a "short" service- only 3 hours! Yes, I jest. Just wait til you hear about the following "regular" services. =) Anyway, this particular evening was interesting as it was my first time sitting through a German only service. I found myself smiling and nodding like I actually knew what was going on. HaHa! I pretty much wandered around with a big grin on my face a lot because I wanted people to think I was friendly, even if I couldn't talk with them without an interpreter.

What I really loved were the people that practiced their English on me. One man in particular was absolutely adorable. German through and through with the typical Lederhosen pants and all. He came up to me, with his face just inches from mine and said, "Hello...How...are...you...? Merry....Christmas." So cute. I loved that.

After the service, the fam trooped back home and Chuck's Mom (Tricia) made a fantastic, traditional German dinner. Oh how I love the food over there. You may be able to tell in the picture, but we had German potato salad (MMM!!), Bockwurst- German version of a hot dog (totally opposite of an American hot dog!) with Broetchen (those fabulous crispy rolls) and this yummy mustard stuff. Another wonderful thing is that Germans do not use ice. They put out the cups, and then put the drinks on the table, making it much easier. Every body just grabs what they want. No one has to put ice in the glasses, or take drink orders. And, almost every drink has fizz. Apfelschorle was one of my favorite drinks- basically sparkling apple juice. Even the water has fizz (that I was not as big a fan of). Then, the Dubbe tradition is to have a birthday cake for Jesus, and sing to Him. I really loved doing that.

We had lots of laughs, good conversation, and just plain bonding time sitting around the Christmas Eve table. I loved it. Dan took this picture and I'm so glad he did.

(Left: Chuck, moi, Adam, Timmy, Jamie (the dog), Renate, and Mom)

Weihnachtsmarkt

2011-01-11T13:01:00.000-05:00

Our first 2 days in Germany are a blur in my memory. I realized during this venture that sleep is more important to me than food. Never would I ever have come to that conclusion had I not been withheld precious hours of sleep the way we were traveling over there. Of course, Chuck was snoozing away on the plane while I sat straight up in my seat fidgeting around like crazy desperately trying to find one possible comfortable position. I kid you not I had a melt down somewhere around 2 in the morning, body clock time. I was seconds away from bursting into droves of tears, ripping angrily at my cheesy airplane blanket, stomping my feet (yes I did) and about to scream (yes I felt like that) when a new movie started. I resolved then and there that I was never going to be able to sleep again and I might as well deal with it. Thus I realized sleep is more important to me than food- lack of sleep makes me a crazy person. I believe this is actually a psychological and scientific fact.

So onto happier days, once we finally got to bed in Chuck's parent's beautiful home, I slept for 13 hours straight, I believe. Germans use these fantastic window covers called "rolladen ". Thanks to them, not an ounce of sunlight was able to enter our room. Blissful sleep indeed.

Our first outing was to the infamous Weihnachtsmarkt! These Christmas markets live up to their reputation, and more! What a festive, fun, quaint way to enjoy the Christmas season. We had a blast wandering around, stopping at tons of little stands selling German goods, and ate plenty of authentic food as well. Including schupfnudein (potato noodles thingies), sauerkraut, bratwurst, brotchen (crispy roll), and gluhwein (spiced wine). The gluhwein at the market was the best I tried. They give it to you in this cute little mug. You can return the mug and get some money back, or you can keep it- which we did. We also ate roasted almonds which were unbelievably delicious. We really wanted to try roasted chestnuts, but the stand had sold out. Who knew there really were roasted chestnuts? I thought we just sang about them for no reason.

Since Chuck and I had been saving our pennies for quite a long time, we had the freedom to purchase little things that caught our eye. There were stands that sold jewelry, ornaments, clothes, nick knacks, soaps, lotions, home items, and truly so much more. It was a blast buying cute little things to remind me of such a unique cultural experience with the fam. We found this one booth that sold items that were hand-crafted. It was, by far, my favorite booth. I think it was Renate's favorite as well. We both found cute little items that we loved. Chuck bought me a little felt flower pin that goes perfectly on my winter coat.

This was definitely a special night. The whole family (of those who were actually in Germany) was there together, but we split off into little groups. Chuck and I walked around with his younger brother Adam (Sibling # 6, who will be staying in Germany until next Fall, taking online classes through Liberty), their friend Robert (who is the brother of our soon-to-be sister-in-law, Anni), and Chuck's youngest sister, Renate. Renate and I always have fun giggling and shopping together. She is such a sweet girl, which is fitting, since we just recently celebrated her Sweet 16th birthday. I love spending time with her.

I am posting a picture that Chuck took of our little group right before we met back up with the rest of the fam. I would say this night was one of the top most special nights. It really just felt like Christmas...magic.

2 Weeks

2011-01-10T16:59:00.000-05:00

Our two week trip to Germany could never be captured into one blog post. Our trip may, however, be captured in a blog post a day for two weeks. I thought it would be fun to focus 14 posts in a row on our special trip, as well as 14 different pictures. This is also a great way for me to stretch my writing muscles as they have been super dormant lately.

Our journey started off pretty rough. We realized on Sunday night (Our flight was scheduled to leave on Monday at 5pm) that my passport still had my maiden name on it. Ugh. After having checked and re-checked my passport's expiration date, it never occurred to me to check my own name. As Chuck was checking our bags in online, he realized the name debacle.

God provided one solution after another and totally took care of the passport issue. That is really an amazing story in and of itself. Needless to say, about 3 and a half hours before our plane took off, I officially received my new (EXPENSIVE) passport. Our Monday had started off at 5am. We were just looking forward to "crashing" on the eight hour flight.

Well one thing led to another and after about 7 hours we landed in Munich instead of Frankfort. The snow was pretty bad so we were forced to wait on the plane for two hours and anticipated flying on to Frankfort. Instead we ended up being told to exit the plane as our flight was now canceled. LONG story short, we took a long, slow bus ride to Frankfort- which is where this picture was taken. It is also where we did not receive our luggage. Mine did come three days later, while Chuck's arrived less than a week before we left to come back home. Poor guy. He really did have the most amazing attitude and my admiration for his positive spirit grew even more. All in all, from the time we landed in Munich until we actually reached Chuck's parent's was about 12 hours. This picture was taken on our bus ride. We hadn't slept for hours and our bodies were pretty miserable. BUT, we were thankful we had each other and God certainly gave us a lot to laugh about!

Our Little Life

2010-12-14T17:49:00.001-05:00

Here we are bringing our baby tree home. It's definitely real! It's the cutest thing ever.

My man stringing the lights. I believe it was a box of 50.

Ornaments! My job. I loved going through them this year. Each one really means something special to me.

Such a pretty, happy tree.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Praise

2010-12-07T17:37:00.000-05:00

My Dad has a check-up with his heart surgeon every year around November. The nerves always kick in with full-fledged anxiety in the mix. There's always that chance that the reports will come back with Dad needing another heart surgery. Last year I shed tears and didn't handle the pending appointment so well. This year God really put His peace in my heart as we anticipated what the results would show.

Last year I was shopping in the cheese aisle in Harris Teeter when Dad called with the good news, and this year I was driving home from Kohls with the GREAT news that his heart is doing well. Whew. I just have to praise God for another healthy heart year for my Dad. It. Is. Such. A. Relief. =)

I love you, Father!

Too Much

2010-11-29T13:18:00.000-05:00

Today is one of those days. It actually started last night. Got some disturbing (to say the least) news over the phone about someone I really, really care about. About someone I love. As I tossed and turned in the night, my prayers for this person were my waking thoughts. I'm glad God can make perfect sense out of those twisted, half-awake prayers.

But before I even went to sleep I received another disturbing text from a friend whose Granddad was dying. He may or may not have a personal relationship with God. News like that seems to sprinkle my heart like black dust that you wish you could just wipe away with an old rag.

So today began with a heavy heart, which caused me to lay (or lie? I never know.) under the covers longer then normal. There's nothing like a sweet husband to crawl BACK in bed with me in those moments, though.

As the day has progressed, the weight of the world looms like a cloud over my head. The text confirming the death of my friend's Granddad this morning, the text of a family member facing huge disappointment with their job, and continued battle over the news of my struggling loved-one makes for one of those days. It's no wonder I'd rather curl up on the couch with my new favorite quilt and do nothing but watch Christmas movies. Sometimes life feels like it's just too much.

Vacate

2010-11-18T15:56:00.001-05:00

It had been a year and five months since the whole side of my immediate family had been together until last weekend. Our previous gathering was Chuck and I's wedding, and since then another family member has been added. Meet Rocky, or rather Rockford Glenn. He is just the sweetest, chubbiest little guy you will ever meet. Much bigger then his brother was at seven months.

Our destination was a house in Western VA that belongs to Chuck's side of the family. It's pretty much the ideal vacating spot because it's warm the majority of the year, yet surrounded by beautiful farm land AND mountains. Literally surrounded. The view there is breathtaking. I even contemplated getting married on "Granddad's" land.

So there we landed, all 9 of us in one big happy house. We were able to exchange Christmas gifts (for those who won't be together for Christmas), and celebrate November birthdays.

Much of our time was spent sitting around the fireplace that Chuck kept a close eye on. The great thing was, the weather was in the 60's during the day, but cool enough at night to still have a fire going! We enjoyed our family dinners and played games. We shared about our lives and prayed for each other. We walked around the property and the guys shot guns. We even had our own display of fireworks, compliments of Johnny.

And of course we spent lots of time with the babies. It really touched my heart anew to watch my parents with Chail and Rocky, their grandchildren. There is this fierce, unspeakable love for those boys that can not be explained on paper. To watch them care for and love on the boys was a gift for me to see. I felt even more blessed to be apart of a family that is full and overflowing with unconditional love for each other.

I, as well, was a doting Auntie. It was almost more then my heart could handle waking up in the morning and having Chail toddle over to me ready for a huge hug. When he whispers, "TaTa" I would do almost anything in the world for that sweet boy. I mean just look at him!

There is no place like home, Dorothy. And home is where my family is.

I am not at liberty to share the complete family photo as I believe it will be sent out on certain Christmas cards, but I'd say this one just about sums it all up. I love you guys dearly!

High in the Sky

2010-10-05T14:20:00.000-04:00

Several years ago Chuck began quite a search. He had already graduated from college, and was working a job in his field. He began to feel restless and knew that God was leading him to something else, but he just didn't know what. The story that I'm about to tell came about because of this very search.

Early last week, my sweet husband surprised me by saying we were going OUT on Friday night, on a date. Normally we like to consider Fridays or Saturdays our date nights anyway, but I knew this one was going to be special. He informed me that it was a surprise. But in the end, the surprise only last about 2 minutes as I am not a fan of anticipated surprises. Because I knew where we were going and what we were doing, I was able to revel in the complete form of excitement. Unfortunately, Friday turned out to be very windy which put a damper on our date, so we rescheduled for Saturday.

Now, as I was saying earlier, back in the day when Chuck was searching for his life's calling, he decided to pursue helicopter flying! He began to take lessons, which is a whole other post, but the moral of the story is he ended up receiving free vouchers for 2 hours of sight-seeing in a helicopter. This brings us back to Saturday. We were going helicopter flying!

Our pilot was a fun guy, and before we even stepped foot into our tiny little helo, he offered to take our picture. Too cute of him to ask.

Before we climbed in, Pilot (I can't remember his name so I'll just use Pilot with a capital "P".) gave us some brief instructions. This is where I learned how flimsy and paper-like the doors were- the only things protecting me from plummeting to the ground and ending my life as a pancake. This gave cause for concern, but for some reason I trusted Pilot and of course, trust my hubs.

Once inside, we got to put on the ear protectors that also allowed us to speak to each other (Pilot, Chuck and I) and sound like real-deal pilots. We looked like they always do on 50 % of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette dates. I even said that out-loud and felt like a complete dweeb in front of Pilot.

As soon as we began to hover only a few feet off the ground, I knew the grin would not leave my face the whole time we were flying. It was such a surreal and incredible feeling. So different from flying in a plane. As we climbed higher and higher into the sky, all I could do was gaze, for lack of a better description. I found myself feeling utterly speechless at the beauty I was beholding. Since I didn't want to hurt Pilot's feelings, I eventually said words like "Awesome", "Beautiful", and "Amazing" which compared to what I was seeing and feeling, were completely lame.

Pilot described where we were and what were we seeing at several different points during our tour. There were some absolutely crazy amazing farms and homes out there. One farm had horse stalls nicer then motels. This same farm owned it's very own private landing strip for it's very own private plane. I'm still dying to know who they heck the owners are! We also got a see this enormously massive rock quarry.

I think God's creation is just way to....for words. All in all, I give the experience two thumbs UP.

Since we've been back on land, I have thought about our time in the air quite often. It was just so much FUN. Especially when the helicopter dropped quickly at once and my stomach lurched into my throat! Way better then a roller coaster, which Pilot thought was quite funny. Mostly it was FUN because I got to experience it with my Love. I think I was gripping his hand the entire time, just too excited to let go for even a minute. Yes, a picture is worth a thousand words.

A Chance

2010-09-25T12:28:00.000-04:00

There are just times when I know God is subtly speaking to my heart. I can't pinpoint the exact moment this started, but I know when the realization of God's prompting came alive recently.

A leadership group of teens from our youth group meet twice a month on Sunday nights. On this particular night, the teens were instructed to pick anyone in the room and ask that person a question from one of four areas of spiritual growth.

Prayer Life
Bible Reading
Evangelism
Christian Fellowship

As soon as our Youth Pastor mentioned to the teens, "You know you can ask leaders, too." I got a sinking feeling inside. I knew I would be the next to be called on. And so it was. The guy sitting beside me said, "Abby Dubbe" (he only ever calls me by my first and last name because he finds it amusing). At that point my heart started pounding because I KNEW he would ask me to share about "evangelism" in my life. If you haven't guessed it already, that is the area I had already been sensing God working in my heart.

So I was honest. I shared that I used to somewhat look down on people who claimed they didn't know any unsaved people. I had grown up in a public high school, always worked in secular environments, and had many people around to share God's love with. As I told the group, now my life is drastically different. I am a stay-at-home-wife, and spend many hours of my week discipling, mentoring, and building relationships with other Christian women. All that to say, God has been prompting my heart about reaching out to those who do not yet know the love and sacrifice of Jesus.

I do know my four neighbors and I have tried to build relationships with all of them, but haven't seen much happen. Until this morning. One of our neighbors is moving. We've chatted with her several times about her move, and even stopped by her place last night to help out with a couple packing issues. This morning, as I was reading my Bible, I heard my neighbor crying on the other side of the wall. At first I wasn't sure so I froze and tried to listen harder. Sure enough, there were undeniable tears.

As nervous as I was to admit to her I could hear her crying, I knew God was leading me to go over there and check in. With watery eyes she answered the door and my suspicions were confirmed. My heart went out to her as I know the feeling of moving far far away from friends and family. I was able to share a tiny bit of my own personal journey of heartache, loss, and change but that WITH GOD I found joy, peace, and ultimately healing. In order to protect her personal life, I won't go into all the details. What I will say is I thank God for giving me the chance to show His love to her.

As I told her I would be praying for her, more tears came to her eyes. When I asked if I could pray with her right then, it was by God's leading, and still even more tears came. I am in awe that God gave me a chance. A chance to share HIM with someone that doesn't yet know Him.

Beth Moore

2010-09-20T21:14:00.003-04:00

has a blog. I am ecstatic! =)

http://blog.lproof.org/

NO SCHOOL FOR ME!

2010-09-07T11:45:00.000-04:00

I wrote in my personal journal this morning how grateful I am that I'm NOT going back to school today. It's true. I feel anxiety just imagining the thought of going back to school again. If you're reading this, you probably already know that I have hated school for my whole entire life.

It must have started in Kindergarten when my oldest brother left me in the hallway all alone, scared, and having no idea where to go or what to do. Apparently I really liked my first Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Bird. When my family moved in the middle of my Kindergarten year, I even called her from all the way across the country.

Like I said, I'm just beyond grateful that today I do not have to go back to school. Yes I've been out of school for over six years now, but the relief has never worn off. When walking through Target, seeing all those pencils, folders, erasers, folders, notebooks, and binders I STILL get this sick feeling in my stomach. I know that stuff is no longer for me, but I STILL feel the dread. That horrible feeling was apart of my life for so many years, that I assume it will last for quite a few back to school seasons still.

I fear what it will be like when my own kids have to go to school. If they hate it as much as I did, I'm sure I will be the Mom that says, "Oh, you can stay home honey!" Thankfully my Mom let me do that, too. My Senior year of HS she let me skip 37 FULL days. That's not even counting 1/2 days missed, or coming late, or leaving early. I actually got called into a meeting where I was informed if I missed any more days, I wouldn't graduate. Please. THANK YOU MOM!

So if my kids hate school. where will that leave me? Ha! I have a feeling they will be nothing like me and will love school, excel at it, and be much more like their Daddy. Until that time (and we have lots of time!) I am just going to continue to BASK in my FREEDOM. =)

TGIF

2010-09-02T18:53:00.000-04:00

Amber sent us a gift card to Friday's for our anniversary earlier this summer. We went back to thee very Friday's where we met for the very first time less then two years ago. Who knew we'd be married, living just a few miles away, only a few months later in life? I still have a hard time believing it's true. Thank you God! Happy and blessed.

Where it all began.

Not our original table, but it worked. We try to embrace change. ;)

Progress

2010-08-03T19:45:00.000-04:00

Summer time brings life to my soul. Especially in the state I live in. According to Charles Mason and Jeremiah Dixon, I am officially a resident of the South. And the South brings amazing heat. This week it's been in the cooler lower 80's, but before that we were averaging high 90's into the low 100's. I could be found with a huge smile on my face any and every time I stepped outside as the heat washed over me from blond, sun-kissed head to flip-flopped toe.

Though I absolutely love where we live, and I absolutely love my husband, it has been a bit of a tough summer for my heart. Chuck started working on staff with the Sr. High from our church at the end of May. It's his dream job, and my dream job for my husband. Since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a Youth Pastor's wife. I can't say exactly why I had that dream but I suspect it's because I wanted to marry a man just like my Daddy. And in many ways, Chuck is much like my Dad.

Being in ministry full-time is exactly what I expected and nothing like I expected all at once. I adore the girls I have the privilege to spend time with, go to coffee with, have Bible studies with, go to activities with and Facebook with. I adore sharing my heart with them and hopefully sharing God's love as I do that. I love it! What I didn't expect was the drastic shift in our marriage.

After a year of mostly smooth sailing, Chuck and I hit a wall of change. With that change brought an enormous amount of stress, anxiety, newness, navigating, and role changes. We each handled these situations in totally different ways. The way I handled it was trying to cling to Chuck and trying to cling to the way things had always been in our marriage. I desperately wanted our first year of marriage back. I knew how to be an IBM wife, but I din't know how to be a youth Pastor's wife.

Because I wanted to cling to the way we were, I became hurt and eventually resentful towards Chuck and his new job. I became jealous of the attention that so many more people were getting when it used to be just me. I felt lost in a sea of teenagers, youth volunteers, and staff members.

What I have learned up until this point is that without change there is no progress. If the circumstances in our lives never changed, then we would be totally stuck. Chuck would be miserable working at IBM knowing he's called to work with teens. We'd eventually be bored out of our minds living out the same old hum-drum routine that we did for our first year. God knew that we needed to grow closer to HIM (this being of first importance) and closer to each other.

As Andy Stanley puts it, "Accepting the status quo is the equivalent of accepting a death sentence. Where there's no progress, there's no growth. If there's no growth, there's no life."

Neither Chuck nor I want anything close to the status quo for our lives. In order to progress, we must change. And that includes letting go of the way things were and embracing this new phase of our relationship. After having realized that, God has let the scales fall from my eyes and I have never been more excited to dive into youth ministry together with my husband.

Together were are ONE. One team. One mission. =)

Ruby Red Slippers

2010-07-19T20:27:00.004-04:00

It's been a whirlwind the past 7 weeks. Seriously. I feel like Dorothy in the scene where she looks out her bedroom window in the midst of the tornado and see's bits and pieces of her life (cows, fences, people, pigs) whizzing around her. Thankfully there are not many cows, fences, and pigs in NOVA, but there are PLENTY of people in need of God's love. And those people are whizzing around us daily. Chuck and I are very honored to be apart of Reston Bible Church's Sr. High staff as we strive to love on and serve teens full-time. (I say "we" but really only Chuck is on staff. I am still processing and finding my role. You can pray for me in that area.)

Chuck is very happy in his new role, but spends of lot of time battling stress, being overwhelmed, and finding his way in this totally new ministry. He has an awesome mentor and leader (his "boss"- the head youth Pastor, Bob) and that is a big answer to prayer. I think we are battling those areas together as a family as well. Finding the balance of family/marriage and ministry is a new rock for us to climb.

Yes, I have been writing! Here are links to 2 of my most recent articles.

iMPACT
A Christian teen E-magazine put out by BBC. I write for them once a month.

The Baptist Bulletin
A magazine where I did my internship in college. They contacted me to write an article on one of my very best friends!

Remember to search "Abigail Dubbe" as the author. Some people have gotten confused looking for "Amos". ;)

Chuck and I would love your prayers for us. Pray for our marriage as we navigate our way through this entirely new journey of ministry with teens. Pray for Chuck July 25-31 as he'll be at summer camp. He'll be speaking on Wed and Fri mornings. He is spending a lot of time and energy this week preparing and I know it's overwhelming for him.

Jersey Shore

2010-07-19T15:59:00.000-04:00

We celebrated our ONE YEAR Anniversary at the Jersey Shore! Wonderful family friends gave us a wedding gift of their beach house, right on the shore. It was awesome to be able to show Chuck my family's all-time favorite vacation spot. Life is good at the beach. =)

Great Falls

2010-07-07T17:22:00.000-04:00

An incredible date we went on recently. The marvelous GREAT FALLS. I really do think they should be called "Marvelous Falls", Great doesn't do any justice.

Suddenly

2010-06-15T11:55:00.000-04:00

All of the sudden life has gone from easy-going, laid back, and chill to full speed ahead, faster than the speed of light, and plain old BUSY. I anticipate life to remain at this speed as we continue to move forward in youth ministry. With all the craziness going on, I just had to stop in and say PRAISE THE LORD for the privilege of serving him full-time and getting paid for it! Could there be a better job on the planet (For Chuck that is, I'm just the faithful side-kick.)?!

Nature Walk

2010-06-02T11:51:00.000-04:00

My friend, Laura, was sharing with our ladies prayer group last night and her thoughts really spoke to my heart. She was almost exclaiming how tired she is of suburbia. Laura has such a longing for God to use her mightily alongside of her husband. She longs to be out in nature, even on the top of a mountain and be able to open her arms wide and proclaim....everything....to God. Though she struggled to make sense of the deep longing in her heart, those of us women in the room felt it, too.

I was particularly convicted because God has been stirring my heart about how I spend my time. My days are a joy to my soul. I am living in the freedom of doing what I love each and every day. I have the privilege of watching my husband begin a new job that he finds so much passion, purpose, and meaning in. Together, we are honored to serve God and teens.

Yet there are times when I know in my heart I haven't made the most of my day. Like Laura was sharing, I don't want to wake up when I'm 80 and say, "How did I spend my days? What a waste." So today I decided to cut out some of my usual distractions. It's embarrassing to admit that I often schedule my work outs, cleaning, and fixing dinner around TV programs. For instance, I go to the gym at 9 or 11 so that I can watch "Live with Regis and Kelly" or "The View". Or, I'll fold the laundry at 4 when "Oprah" is on. I'm not saying any of this is bad, I'm saying it's distracting.

A couple ladies shared last night that they really find God in nature. That hit home, hard. I often spend my days indoors because I love, love, LOVE being in our apartment so much. But as I considered where I live, I am truly blessed. Our apartment complex is pretty much a mini paradise. We are surrounded by woods, trees, and pretty flowers. There are sidewalk paths that wind all over our town. We also have a beautiful pool, also surrounded by trees and woods. It's all very serene.

So thanks to Laura, the ladies, and God's leading, I went for a Nature Walk this morning. What an incredible way to connect with God. Each step I just reveled in God's creation and in the beauty of nature. I could feel God's peace and love bursting in my heart so strongly, I wanted to hug a tree or something. There was a moment where my eye caught site of a beautiful, bright, red bird and my heart actually skipped a beat as I realized that the site of that pretty bird was a gift from God to me.

I'm happy. I am reminded, and a bit remorseful that I don't always give God the chance to move in me and bless me the way He so desires to. Thank you for today, God, and thank you for nature.

New News

2010-06-01T14:34:00.001-04:00

As Chuck and I's one year anniversary approaches (20 days!) this month there have been some significant changes going on. Before our wedding, we chose to take a year off from full-time youth ministry. As we sought wisdom and counsel from others we were really excited to spend our first year focusing on our marriage and each other. Chuck agreed to a verbal contract with IBM for one year. We joined a church just a couple miles down the road from our apartment (Reston Bible Church) and began volunteering with the youth group there.

We desired to serve God in our church for the year and believed He would lead us to full-time ministry come summer time. We began the process of searching for churches in need of a youth Pastor. It was incredibly encouraging to be in contact with several wonderful church bodies. Deep down inside though, Chuck and I both truly desired to stay at our current church that we know and love. As we talked with RBC's youth Pastor, his desire was to be able to hire us on staff as well. Thus began the process of interviews and meetings. In the meantime, Chuck was unexpectedly laid off from IBM. He had less than 2 weeks until his last day. I had to laugh as this was such a clear sign from God that we were headed in the right direction.

Chuck's last day at IBM was a Friday and by God's great provision, his first day at Reston Bible Church was the very next Monday. He was hired as the Sr. High Youth Pastoral Intern. We are floored with excitement because all the things we desired in a youth ministry, God has given us through RBC. Chuck will be working with a youth team, as well as being mentored by the youth Pastor. RBC will also be working with Chuck to eventually become ordained, which has been a great desire for Chuck. We are excited to be apart of this youth ministry, hopefully for many years.

Some of you know that we were looking for a new apartment to be closer to our church building once they move locations (from Reston to Sterling), but we've decided to stay in the apartment right where we are. We couldn't be happier about this!

Thanks to those of you who have prayed for us! We can't wait to share with you all that God does in and through us in our new role!

iMPACT!

2010-05-26T13:08:00.000-04:00

God has flung the doors of writing opportunity wide open for me in the last several months. Baptist Bible College (my Alma Mater, yay class of 2004!) has recently developed a teen E-magazine that just came out yesterday. I had the privilege of writing an article for them. I guess they liked me because I am now going to be published monthly by iMPACT. If interested, you can check out the magazine here:

http://digital.turn-page.com/issue/10983

iMPACT is looking for feedback on their first edition. There is a "comment" button that you can click on at the top right corner of each page. Please feel free to share any insight, helpful suggestions, or positive feedback that you have. It would be extra great if any TEENS out there could check it out!

I'm super excited!

Published?!

2010-05-21T12:26:00.010-04:00

It's been mentioned before, but now I can finally post the real, live version of my first published article in a magazine since being a Dubbe. I praise God for absolutely amazing opportunities! (Published in the May/June 2010 issue of The Baptist Bulletin)

Click on link below to view article in new window.

View article in new window

Highlights of the Week

2010-05-09T21:40:00.001-04:00

~ Hearing my Grandma tell me she's proud of me

~ Chuck and I attending our first ever marriage conference

~ Watching "Chocolat" and both enjoying it

~ Having a sister-in-law who is a nurse practitioner

~ Chuck confiding in his sister

~ Talking to my Mama on Mother's Day

~ Talking to both of my Grandmother's on Mother's Day

~ Receiving a gerbera daisy after our church service

~ An unexpected steak cook-out with new friends

~ Awesome leftovers!

~ Responding to God's leading

~ Hearing about the new SOY 1/2 price Frappuccino's

~ Receiving a surprise $10 in the mail

~ Roomie and Craig visiting from England

~ A wonderful Shepherd Group

~ Being published!

~ Being contacted to write an article for June, and being able to interview one of my best friends in the process

~ Going out to eat at Cafesano's with my hubs

~ Getting my first sunburn of the season

Welcome Babe!

2010-05-02T22:17:00.001-04:00

My Beloved has started a new blog! He's actually had the address for awhile, but hadn't kept up with it. He spent the majority of his blog time working on the youth blog from his last church. Now Chuck's own personal blog is up and running. http://chuckdubbe.blogspot.com/ Pay him a visit, leave a comment, and make his day! =)

Day Trip to the Water

2010-04-23T15:13:00.000-04:00

Meet Annapolis.

Ben and Jess.

Man painting right next to the water.

Tony, Jennifer, and nephew.

Happy day.

Enough said.

Chuck's friend started a church in Annapolis a couple years ago. He invited us up to check it out, and 4 of us couples went to Buddy's Crabs and Ribs for their famous Sunday Brunch. http://www.buddysannap.com/ YUM-O! Leisurely strolling up and down the cobblestone-like streets was just what the Doctor ordered for a perfect afternoon with friends. We started and ended our time right next to the water. What could be better? See you again soon, Annapolis!

Ich spreche ein bisschen deutsch!

2010-04-18T20:26:00.000-04:00

Translation: I speak a LITTLE German! I have completed my first two weeks of German class and am really excited about the next 18 weeks. But, backing up the truck a wee bit...

One of the most fascinating aspects about my husband, Chuck is that he was raised as an American-German. When I first met him I wanted to ask a billion questions about Germany and I couldn't wait to hear him speak the language. Luckily I refrained from going over board, and it's a good thing because I found out later how irritating it is to him when someone says, "Say something in German!" It's now hilarious to me when I watch it happen to him. ;)

While we were engaged, Chuck went back to Germany for 10 days. It didn't work out for me to be able to go and I was devastated. I dreaded the day he flew over there without me. I wanted so badly to experience the only home he had known. I wanted to learn about the culture he grew up in and watch him interact with his family and friends that were still over there. Now, a little over a year later, we are married and are planning a trip to Germany TOGETHER! Excitement does not do justice in explaining how my heart feels.

In preparation for our big trip coming up, I have committed to a 100 day, 20 week German-speaking class. Chuck found me the sweetest online teacher, Catriona. She works out of Radio Lingua International and their philosophy is to teach German "Step by step, day by day, phrase by phrase." It's such a blast! I really desire to know some basic German small talk so that when we go over there I can put forth great effort in connecting with the Germans that I get to meet. A lot of the people Chuck wants me to meet will be equivalent to the Heritage Baptist Church crowd from my growing up years. My goal is to speak as much German as I can to show how much I care.

Plus learning German has helped me to connect with Chuck and his family even better. Hopefully I'll be able to understand a bit more during those times when they throw German words into the conversation and I'm left elbowing Chuck under the table saying, "What did he/she say?!"

In honor of Chuck's up-bringing, his family, and my fascination with Deutschland we decided to visit the brand new German-American museum in DC last weekend. (Though I must confess I chickened out in practicing my German to the lady working there!)

Schluss für heute. Tschüss!

Reading the many plaques on the walls.

Traditional German costume dress.

Cute little apron! My Grandma wears these, too!

Chuck with Handel's "bust".

8 Weeks....

2010-04-14T17:17:00.000-04:00

I've had several blog posts swirling around in my head for awhile now. I even have some new pictures to post to add to the excitement of the posts on the bench. BUT in lieu of those pending stories I must share some pressing news.

Just about 10 months ago Chuck and I tied the knot and officially became husband and wife, with a free pass to finally live together! Glorious! The Sunday after we married, we drove 5 hours to our new home. We had found an apartment pre-wedding, but I went to my parent's house before it was officially ours to move into. Therefore Chuck did the laborious task of moving in all of my stuff and his stuff without me. Once we arrived at OUR new home, I was hooked.

Chuck had organized the boxes, set up his twin bed in our living room (it became our couch for several months!), set up our bed, and even bought us a cactus to add some life to the new place. (Woops! He quickly found out I had a major aversion to cacti as I'm always afraid of getting stabbed. Good-bye cactus! It was sweet of Chuck to buy you.) It was perfect.

On top of all the new items we had received at showers, we even had wedding presents to open still, which just added to the excitement! I spent the next several days unpacking and settling in. I organized our home room by room. I made many phone calls to my Mom about which cupboards to put my plates in, where the linens would fit best, and how to clean the fancy stove top. I kid you not, setting up our home was beyond anything I had ever dreamed about! Each day I would find new treasures to put up around our cute little apartment and proudly show Chuck my progress for the day when he came home from work.

I have spent the last 10 months blissfully adoring this place Chuck and I call home. Every time we go out and return I smell the familiar scent of our home and my heart lights up with joy to be back where we belong. We have had countless friends over, guests from out of town, dinner nights, movie nights, dessert nights, cook out nights, breakfast mornings, coffee dates, you name it, we've utilized it!

Not to mention this is the home where Chuck and I came immediately following our honeymoon. It was where we had our first married dinner (spaghetti and sauce I got at a shower) while sitting on the floor at our coffee table. It was where we had our first fight, first cry, first breakfast, first cup of coffee in our new machine, first time to use our dishes, first time to use our new sheets and towels, first time to do everything as a newly married couple. I've truly felt like our apartment this year has been a vacation home.

But now, that will all come to an end in 8 weeks. Our lease is up and it's absurdly expensive to rent month-by-month. (Almost $2,000/mo for a ONE bedroom, I think not.) We have no idea where God is leading us next, but I guess we'll get there sometime in the next 8 weeks!

I trust God and I have complete faith that God has the right youth position for Chuck out there. But, my heart hurts at the thought of leaving this, our very first home. I've spent the last 2 days crying off and on about it. It hurts too much to picture putting it all back into boxes. One thing is certain, I will NEVER forget this haven. Never.

Happy Blog Anniversary!

2010-03-27T10:29:00.000-04:00

Happy Four Year Anniversary of what, you may wonder? Well today, dear readers, is the four year anniversary of this very blog.

I honestly can not recall how I heard about blogs or how I knew to create one. I knew I loved to write and that was all I needed to know. I remember trying so many blog titles and so many of my ideas where already taken. I was sitting at my little kitchen table in my very first apartment in MN. It was late at night but I found myself with not a lot to do at the time. From somewhere the idea of "Full of Joy" came into existence and it has helped shaped my view of God and my life ever since.

The funny thing about the day I started my blog is that my friend Tara started her blog on the very same day! We didn't plan that, in fact, we both kept it a secret. It was hilarious when we both confessed we had started blogs!

This has been an outlet for me to express my thoughts far and wide. It has been a place to share my fears, my adventures, my outlook on life, and many cries for prayer. Of all the things that have taken place in my life in the last four years, it's hard to fathom being where I am today. I'm so thankful to God for that. It truly has been a journey full of JOY!

I'm always amazed when someone leaves a comment and somehow connects with what I wrote. I'm honored that someone would take the time to read my thoughts and respond. So thank you to those of you who have followed me from the beginning, and to those of you who check in once in awhile, and to those of you who faithfully read and leave comments, and to those of you who secretly read and never leave comments. ;) It means so much to me to share my passion for writing in this blog world and to have such faithful blog friends!

Lastly, thank you to my dear husband who has so thoughtfully pointed out this special day and created a pretty graphic to celebrate my love for writing!

Contra

2010-03-24T12:50:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Friday Night Dance at Glen Echo Park! It is a whole other world here, so be prepared to leap out of the box. And I mean leap.

So last Friday Chuck and I decided that we would finally go dancing somewhere. We had been talking about it for well over a year and it was time to just do it. Sometime during the course of the day Chuck told me he found the perfect place to go and that he was so excited. He sent me the link above and I have to admit I didn't share his same enthusiasm.

For those of you who don't know this husband of mine very well, let me enlighten you. He loves trying new things! He is one crazy kid who will do almost anything and everything. He actually does not like staying in any type of box that he may ever be placed in. It has been suggested to him that a person should try something completely new once a month to have a broader range of experiences and conversation pieces. He loves this idea!

As for me, oh how I love my comfortable box. I do not like change, I get scared to start new things, and am quite satisfied with my life experiences already, thank you very much. This is just one of the many reasons why Chuck is such an incredible fit for me.

Back to last Friday. We arrive right on time for the beginner Contra Dance lessons. Ahead of me I see a girl wearing a darling pink dress and perfectly matched dance shoes. I, of course, was wearing my jeans and brown winter Mary Janes. I am feeling quite nervous and out of place. Thankfully the lady at the table gave us buttons to wear that proclaim to all it's our first night so watch out!

As our lesson begins I look around the circle of people and realize that we fit right in. A wide variety of people, outfits, ages, and races surrounded us. For the next 45 minutes we learn all the baby basics of the dance that is the Contra. Before we knew it, Chuck and I were "dosey doeing", "bounce and swinging", "connecting four", and so on. Huge grins were plastered across our faces as we practiced our new moves.

Once the "real" dance started, the heat really began to pick up. It was time to start dancing in huge lines like we were in a Jane Austin film. Off we went spinning, bouncing, stepping, and stomping trying desperately to figure out what the heck was going on. The thing with Contra Dancing is that you end up dancing with tons of other partners and holding tons of other hands. Watch out for those hard core Contras. They'll spin you so fast into the next step your head will spin. Trust me, it happened.

Chuck and I had a blast! A complete blast! We danced and spun the night away leaving with grimy fingers, sweaty bodies, blistered feet and full souls. We're going back and we can't wait! (Oh, and yes, men wore skirts.)

Bouquets!

2010-03-18T15:29:00.000-04:00

With the temperature nearing 70 degrees today and these two beautiful bouquets around me I can't help but proclaim that SPRING IS HERE!

My love tank is full and overflowing this week. We had a wonderful couple over for dinner the other night and they showed up with tulips! I have never had tulips before and I am just adoring them. Aren't they just the cheeriest things?

My friend Laura likes to tease me that Chuck and I are "always" getting gift cards for restaurants. I keep telling her it's not true, but then the other day I heard someone knocking on my door. I figured maintenance was stopping by to do some work or something. I peeked out our little peep hole, not recognizing the man but he was holding something. Well I opened the door and he said, "Abby?" I saw that he was holding one of those glorious fruit baskets and I thought, "This can't be for me..." Sure enough! The card said "Chuck and Abby"! Wow! I was so shocked!

When I read the sweet card I was even more shocked! Chuck and I have been studying the fruits of the Spirit with our teen SG! Chuck has been preparing to teach about "goodness" and what did the card say? "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (Galations 5:22-23) I'm beginning to think maybe Laura is right after all.

We are truly blessed, blessed, BLESSED! Happy Spring!

1 Year

2010-03-01T14:03:00.003-05:00

Before...

After...

Saturday was our 1 year anniversary of getting engaged! I knew the date was approaching, but on Saturday it didn't even cross my mind. Ironically, Katie came over for pancakes that morning. At one point I looked at my phone, saw the date, and proclaimed, "Aw! One year ago we got engaged!"

Shortly after that Chuck returned home and much to my surprise he was holding a dozen red roses! Then he announced to both of us, "Happy getting engaged one year ago!" I was truly touched. I hadn't even thought to get him a card, a written a note, or anything! Later, as I was breathing in the scent of the perfect dozen, I looked up at my adoring husband and sighed, "I'd say yes all over again!"

* On a side note, I have never had roses that SMELLED so sweet and so incredible! Whenever I walk by I get a breeze of the heavenly rose scent and I want them to last forever... *

The Sweetest Thing

2010-02-25T22:32:00.000-05:00

I'm back in my writing corner. It is warm in here because the hallway vent and the den vent are both blowing on me. Blasts of heat = perfect writing temperature.

So some of you have heard the story about our neighbor who fell right outside our apartment and broke her ankle. I witnessed the entire tragedy, yelled for Chuck and we both ran outside to help. It was an awful situation for our neighbor. I want to spare the details for her privacy, but it was truly traumatic.

She ended up being in the hospital for two weeks with multiple surgeries. Throughout this situation it has been a pleasure for Chuck and I to serve our neighbor and her mother (who flew up to help her daughter as she recovers). Though it is such a tough situation for our neighbor, it has been great to build a relationship with her and her mom.

Today I went over to their apartment to check in on the ladies. They invited me in and as we were chatting, my neighbor said, "I'm glad you're here. I have something for you and Chuck." To my utter surprise, she handed me two hats. I literally gasped. She MADE Chuck and I each a different winter hat. Like literally KNITTED them for us! My hat is the most adorable style and it's PURPLE! How amazing is that?! Chuck's is gray and black, which he totally needed.

I am touched that she would do such a sweet thing for us. I don't think I have ever been so surprised and graced with such a special gift.

I convinced Chuck to model his hat with me. I cherish this day and how much this hat means to me.

Writing Corner

2010-02-24T14:29:00.004-05:00

So far during our 8 months of marriage, the den has served the purpose of storing our desks and book shelves. Though Chuck does use his desk for the intended purpose, my desk somehow turned into a space for stuff I didn't feel like dealing with. After some re-organizing and throwing away of useless papers my desk came back with a vengeance! Several weeks ago I created a little writing corner for myself.

Since that time I have submitted an article to a magazine and am waiting for approval (or not!) from the board of editors to see if it will be published. I have also been able to submit some ideas to a different magazine with hopes to be published there as well. Lastly, a project for a friend's blog (to be posted sometime in the near future) has been completed as well. I have high hopes for all of these opportunities and am equally excited to see how God works out the details!

In the midst of these quests, God also brought a new friend into my life who shares my passion for writing as well as editing. (Thanks for your helpful feedback on my article girl!) She is currently working on a novel series with her first book almost complete. I admire her greatly. She has motivated me to move forward in my pursuit of writing. We have decided to join forces as a mini-writing group on occasion. Meeting with a fellow-writer, reading each others work, and sipping coffee at a Starbucks brings such life to my soul! I get giddy just thinking about it. Reminds me of my glorious days at The Loft in Minneapolis. Besides the people, that is something I miss the most about living in MN.

As to what I'm going to work on next, that is unclear. I believe my writing is a passion that ebbs and flows as I feel led or inspired. In the meantime, I am enjoying sitting in my writing corner sharing my thoughts here with the world at large.

Beginning of the Rest of our Lives

2010-02-06T14:27:00.003-05:00

As a sweet gift for me, Chuck compiled just a few of our professional photographs taken by Joanna Nunemaker with the assistance of Janean Truax put to music with one of my favorite compilations. If you attended our wedding, I think you will find the music quite familiar.

We wanted to share some of these captured moments of the day that marked the beginning of the rest of our lives together as a married couple. We can't praise God enough for such a perfect wedding day and divine pairing of us as husband and wife.

Thank you Chuck for working so hard to create this wonderful video! Thank you Joanna for creating such uniquely artistic and personal photographs. Our picture dreams have come true!

Unbelievable!

2010-01-28T14:05:00.000-05:00

Several months ago I wrote a query letter to an editor of a Christian magazine. In the letter I explained my article idea and the outline for my piece. I didn't hear anything back so two weeks later I emailed the magazine editor again. I still hadn't gotten a reply so after awhile I gave up on the idea. Well, the day after I wrote my last post I received an email back from that very editor stating his interest in my proposed article idea! What a major answer from God! Just as I was feeling completely lost as a writer God charged in, picked me up, set me on my feet, and pushed me in the exact direction He wants me to go!

I'm back!

2010-01-25T12:19:00.001-05:00

I have my role back and it has been glorious so far today. Being a career woman for one week was a great experience. I loved dressing up every day (Even though I would have had to repeat those outfits all over again this week if I continued to be in the business cas world.). It made me feel a little more powerful, a little more like I fit into DC. Step into any grocery, Target, or mall store and the norm is to be surrounded by women in their clicking heels, fancy dress pants, and professional purses slung over their shoulders. I was one of them for a week and it was really fun! I enjoyed meeting new people. I had a great time keeping the office kitchen organized and indulged in many a Kuerig beverage. I learned some new office skills, namely Excel, although that is still a bit of a traumatizing program for me.

There were, of course, issues during the week that bothered me but it's over now and I'm thankful. I am so happy to be back at home, catching up on my list of things I am behind on. I feel rested, stress-free, relaxed, and full of joy in the midst of my work. It's work that I enjoy! I enjoy working hard at something I find value and life in.

Chuck continues to encourage me to pursue writing. It's hard for me to explain but I feel quite burdened with the notion that I should or could be a writer. Since my dear sweet husband knows I enjoy writing he likes to push me to accomplish my dreams of succeeding in this area.

But most of the time I feel way more excited to get work done around our apartment, run errands, organize, create lists, meet with friends, go to Bible study, prepare meals, host dinners and more then to try and pursue writing. Writing just feels like a burden. That's the only way I know to describe it. Maybe it's because that has been an expectation on me and I feel if I don't ever pursue this seriously then I will have failed. I don't want to fail! I don't want to look back on my life and think, "I wish I had written a book", or "I wish I had been published more", or "I wish ....".

What I do want is to be able to look back on my life and know that I served God with my whole heart, I served, loved, respected and cherished my husband and that I was a light for Jesus on this earth, loving those around me. THAT is what I hope. If I can accomplish any of those things through writing, then so be it. But right now I don't know what to do about that....

4-oh-4!

2010-01-21T20:09:00.000-05:00

Fourth day come and gone! Projects galore piled up and up and up all day long. I didn't even get out on time. Tomorrow doesn't look too relaxing either. I felt quite overwhelmed today. I miss watering the plants! But I have to say, at least the day flew by! I'm sure my very last day will fly by equally as fast considering all the projects I have waiting for me. Chuck and I are going OUT on a date to celebrate the end of my one-week job! We got a gift card and can't wait to blow it. I'm thankful for this week and the valuable experience I gained. I am smarter. I am wiser. I enjoyed being a career woman for 45.4 hours!

1 day to go! TGIF!

So Long Day 3

2010-01-20T17:22:00.002-05:00

Good-night office! See you in the morning!

Plants, Day 3

2010-01-20T09:34:00.000-05:00

My task this morning was to water the plants. HOT DOG. The plants are fed. So here I sit. I find it quite humorous, actually. I don't mind in the least sitting at a desk waiting for the phone to ring. It is only the first hour of the day so I'm sure things will get busier as the other hours go by.

I just have to praise God! Last week at this time I was really nervous about filling in here for one week. The first 2 days have gone really well and I know it's because people are praying for me. Tonight during our teen shepherd groups, we will be discussing "What does walking with God mean?" Well as I sit here contemplating that, it is so clear that THIS is walking with God. It is being with God at a desk, listening to songs that praise His name on Pandora, reflecting on his goodness and grace in my life, and having the best attitude no matter what may come at me today. Walking with God is recognizing Him by my side at every moment. Even when I'm watering plants! I seriously could cry just realizing anew how God weaves every circumstance in life for His glory and His purposes.

I praise you in this moment God! Thank you for your sweet Spirit who lives within me and draws me nearer to you.

Day 3 has just begun...

Day 2 with a Different Shoe

2010-01-19T16:42:00.000-05:00

It rhymed, what can I say? Plus I did wear different shoes today then yesterday. 1 hour to go and my second day will be complete. Today there were several glitches that popped up.

First being I do not own a lot of "business casual" attire. Not sure why they call it that. There isn't much "casual" to it. I will be repeating pants several times. I threw in a load of laundry at 11 last night, and threw that load into the dryer at 6 this morning. I think my pants are tighter and shorter.

Due to my ride (which I totally appreciate!) we were late to work this morning and that already puts me on edge. Other little things were bumpy throughout the morning, but all in all it's been another lovely day in my one-week career as the front desk girl!

The day goes by pretty quickly and I have yet to be bored! I am getting to know people's names and how to work with them which is great! Less then an hour to go and I'm not dreading tomorrow. Wonder of wonders! Praise be to God!

Day 1 Almost Done

2010-01-18T16:45:00.001-05:00

Two words: Keurig Coffee. I'm infatuated. This office has its own Keurig Coffee maker with quite a large variety of coffees including DECAF, teas, and hot chocolate! I couldn't be happier sitting at a huge desk, on a computer where I can write on my own blog, drinking decaf hazelnut coffee with hazelnut creamer that they keep in the kitchen. Not only that, but there's an endless supply of soda's (FREE) and today there was lunch from Panera (FREE)! I really like it here.

More then that, the people are friendly and my boss is super helpful! I have 45 minutes to go and I am pretty sure I won't be crying tonight at the thought of coming in tomorrow! Use me God, however. Thanks for praying y'all! Keep it up!

Yay for Day 1!

Fraud

2010-01-17T14:23:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow. Yes tomorrow I will be starting a new job. I will adorn myself in heels, dress pants, button-down shirts, fancy little sweaters, and do my hair up like a real professional. You know the look. Hair blown straight, brushed smoothly back from the face, fastened in place with a tight elastic band I will carry around my coffee tumbler feeling like a real working girl. I may even wear my glasses. I will be sitting at a desk in front of a computer, answering the phone with my most pleasant and "have a lovely day" kind of tone.

Tomorrow. Yes tomorrow I will be a big, fat FRAUD. Though I may be clicking around an office in heels and fancy pants, I will be longing for my jeans, sweaters, and new Ugg boots. Though I may be carrying my fancy Starbucks coffee tumbler, inside there will be decaf tea. Though I may be sitting at a desk answering the phone with a pleasant "have a lovely day" kind of tone, I will be longing to be where I belong. Home.

Tomorrow. Yes tomorrow I will walk through those office doors feeling that I do not belong. Though I will be completing the tasks I am assigned, I will know inside that it is not who I am. One thing I do know is this. God has placed me in a specific office with very specific people. With all my heart I desire to shine the love of God into that work environment. I desire to be a light in a dark place. I desire to reach out. I want to smile because my heart is freed by the love of God.

Tomorrow. Yes tomorrow I am EXCITED to meet new people, hopefully make new friends, and most importantly share the love of God! I haven't had many opportunities since being a stay-at-home-wife to get out into the community and love! Now is my chance. Though I'm afraid, though I'm nervous, though I'm scared because I have no blessed clue how to work the job I've been hired to do, I am on a mission.

Tomorrow. Yes tomorrow, God will be my courage, He will be my guide, and I pray He will use me. If even for one week. That's right. I'm working for 1 week. I guess I can handle it. ;) Come next Sunday afternoon, my one week career will be behind me and I can go on living my glorious, adored, best job in the world, stay-at-home life!

Tomorrow. Yes tomorrow, would you pray for me? I am going to check in during this venture as the week progresses.

My life as a fraud. Take one.

Special

2010-01-13T13:57:00.001-05:00

Birthdays are humbling. Family and friends sending cards, gifts, receiving phone calls, and surprise cookie cakes truly touched my heart.

My parents got me a web cam and it was a blast talking and SEEING my family for a couple hours. Chail is finally calling me "Ta Ta" or "Tee Tee" (Auntie)! He had called me that last time I saw him, but I wasn't sure if it was a fluke. Then, on my birthday while we were Skyping Luke said, "Who is that?" (pointing to me on the screen) and Chail gleefully announced, "Ta Ta!" Oh how I melted into a big 'ol puddle.

This year was even more humbling because it was my first birthday as Chuck's wife. True to who he is, from morning until night he made me feel like a Queen. (Although I must say, that is how he consistently treats me anyway!)

This was clearly a "from morning" shot...

One of Chuck's unique creations!

Out to eat at THEE phenomenal Arties.

Thanks to a gift card- yay!

The food was FABULOUS! Neither of us can remember the last time we had such a delicious out-to-eat meal. We almost died at how the rolls just melted in our mouths.

It is times like these when I am just overwhelmed at God's gifts to me. I do not deserve a loving family or loving friends, but God so graciously see's fit that He pours out His love on me through them. As if a personal relationship with God weren't enough He also gives us His body (His people) all to lavish His love all the more. Thank you God!

Entertainment Until I'm Better

2010-01-05T16:33:00.001-05:00

My Dear Misty

2009-12-13T20:42:00.001-05:00

Many of you know my dear friend, Misty. I was honored to have her as one of my bridesmaids in our wedding! God is doing miraculous things in the life of Mist, and her husband, Chad. I added their blog address on my sidebar, but thought I'd post for them as a special welcome to the blog world!

Check out their story and praise God with us!

http://www.ourjourneytomercy.blogspot.com/

It Happens

2009-12-07T13:34:00.001-05:00

Yes, I'm aware that most of my posts lately have just gushed newly wed giddy happiness. When I was single it was easy to post about life situations that upset me. It was easy to post about something that depressed me, annoyed me, or made me angry. It was common for me to share what was going on with my relationship with God, even sharing personal details. Being married is a different story. I can not air my dirty laundry because now another person is involved. A lot of my business now is his business, too.

BUT I can air my dirty laundry when it's all my fault. Yes, I fully take the blame and I ask any of you out there for Godly, wifely wisdom. You see, I get teased sometimes as being "the perfect wife" merely because I stay home. That couldn't be further from the truth.

I whine when Chuck is looking at the TV or computer and doesn't pay attention to me right away; I cry when I don't know what food to fix for our company; I get silent when something doesn't go my way; I get moody for absolutely no reason and take it our on my poor, unsuspecting husband; I argue even when I know I'm wrong; I worry; I fear; I fret; and then he comes into the kitchen. He grabs me, holds me in his arms and says, "I just want you to know that I love you, Abby. For better and for worse. I support you." And then I feel even worse and cry some more.

Yep, my friends, that is me as a wife. These are my true colors as a newly wed.

The good news? Well, actually, the GREAT news is: Praise Jesus, the Holy Spirit resides in my heart! Oh yes he does. I need God every moment of every second of every hour of every day. I need him more then sleep, more then water, more then food, (and yes I said food, for those of you who know me well!) more then ANYTHING in this world, I need my God.

Thankfully my God forgives, and he gives me the grace to keep moving forward and to keep working hard at this wife thing. God allows me room to try and fail, to be up and to be down, and he whispers strongly in my ear, "You need me alone. Rest in me. TRUST in me." Oh how sweet it is to be loved by Jesus.

I don't think my husband knew what hit him when he married me! My parents tried to warn him. (Seriously. My dad warned him about me!) But God has given Chuck this crazy, unconditional, incessant love that makes me want to strive even harder to be the Godly, loving, respectful and resting wife I can possibly be!

Where would I be if not for my Savior?

Greenish

2009-12-04T09:35:00.001-05:00

There are just those major high's in life when God blows me out of the water, over and over. Last night was one of those nights. It was the GREENEST night ever. We praise GOD for how HE is providing for and taking care of us.

Chuck was going to be home a little later from work, so I was able to catch up with 2 friends on the phone, only to be utterly amazed and shocked with what God was doing in each of their lives. I had chills all over during both conversations. I had tears in my eyes as I heard each woman pour out her heart at God's power, mercy, and adoring love for each of them. I am blessed to have friends who love God and are examples to me of how to walk by faith.

Crazy enough, while I was actually still on the phone, Chuck arrived home saying someone was outside wanting to look at our car that we were trying to sell. Well when I got off the phone, absolutely elated for a dear friend, there were people sitting in our living room. I proceeded to greet them and that's when I noticed the GREEN cash on the table. I stuttered a bit and said, "Oh....Oh...so you're buying the car?!" We had posted it less then 48 hours earlier! Praise God! Praise God! We are now a one car fam! (Isn't that so GREEN of us?!)

After dinner we then went Christmas tree shopping! We had been given a wedding gift of money to buy Christmas decorations. GREAT gift! We had planned to buy a 7 foot tree, a tree stand, lights, and ornaments. As we began scouting out tree's at several different places it became increasingly clear that if we did purchase a 7 foot tree, and a stand, we had no money left over for lights, or ornaments! Hmmm...

The third place we stopped, just as we were getting pretty bummed about our situation, we walked up this path to be utterly elated at what was in front of us. There was a little cluster of baby Christmas tree's! We immediately looked for the prices and were even more elated to see that THEY were in our price range! Chuck got this enormous grin on his face and started to get a little giddy. The tree was so liiiiiittle and cute I couldn't even stand it. Chuck's little boy glee combined with the adorable baby Christmas tree gave me no choice but to peak out from my furry hood, look up into his face, and said, "Alright! We can get it!" We both cracked up laughing at our tiny, baby, GREEN Christmas tree.

With just enough money, we got the tree, a skirt, and some lights. Then we went to Target where we each picked out our first ornament and one box of tiny ornaments!

We are praising God for His constant provision for us! We are rejoicing!

Tonight we are decorating our baby tree....pictures to come....

11 because it's November

2009-11-23T12:09:00.000-05:00

1. It's been one year since my Dad's 3rd open heart surgery! God has made his heart healthy!

2. God gave me a job for a day so now I am able to buy Chuck his own Christmas presents, not using his money!

3. Chail. He brings me such joy! I love him like I've never loved any baby in my whole life!

4. God has given us an awesome Shepherd Group to be apart of.

5. God has given me an incredible study on the book of Esther (by Beth Moore) and a great group of ladies to study with.

6. I am working with a sweet group of teen girls, leading their Shepherd Group.

7. I am a stay-at-home-wife, it is the best job on the planet.

8. I no longer have to work on Thanksgiving Day.
9. There is a new member arriving in our family in the next several months!

10. My apartment. It's so homey and is my most favorite place to be, especially when Chuck is home.

11. I married my dream-come-true. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect husband! I love you, Love!

Praise the Lord!

2009-11-20T22:45:00.000-05:00

Thank you God! My Dad received a clean bill of health from his heart surgeon today! We are all incredibly relieved! What an awesome early Christmas present! Thank you to everyone who was praying. Thank you so much.

Exactly

2009-11-19T12:58:00.016-05:00

Exactly one year ago today, my Dad underwent his 3rd open-heart surgery at The University of Penn hospital. At this time last year, my family was waiting as my Dad's heart lie on an operating table...again. That was certainly no game of "Operation." In this operation, there is no buzzer that sounds when you hit the wall. It is a reality that we lived through and will forever praise God for. It's a terrifying memory, but sweet at the same time. Sweet because of God's overwhelming peace. We felt God's presence so tangibly, it was as if He was literally hugging us all day. And what a loooooong day it was. Oh how the hours dragged by!

But praise God from whom ALL blessings flow, He brought my Dad through. Just a few weeks ago my mom threw a semi-surprise party for my dad to celebrate all that God has done this year. She took the people who were at the hospital the day of my dad's surgery out to an incredible steak dinner. Then we went back to my parent's house for some of Julie's famous, delicious, and astounding CAKE! (The same Julie who made our wedding cake.) It was a night to remember and savor in our hearts.

My Dad see's his surgeon in Philly tomorrow (Friday, November 20). Please pray for him! I know we've all been struggling a bit about worrying. There's this looming fear that arises when the surgeon visits are scheduled. Will he find some thing....again? Pray that my Dad has a clean bill of health!

I know God is overwhelmingly good to his children at ALL times. I struggle with anxiety over my Dad's heart and all that he has gone through. I know my Dad struggles, too. Pray for him! Though I believe God will be good no matter what the visit tomorrow shows, it is still hard to wait. It is still hard to trust, but I wish it were easy for me. It should be by now, right?

God's words to me today: (Phil. 4)

The Lord is near. And the God of peace will be with you.

Thank you God!

Surprise!

2009-11-16T17:08:00.001-05:00

I'm not a morning girl by any stretch of the imagination. This is in complete contrast to my husband who actually enjoys setting his alarm for 7:30am on the weekends. On Sunday I told him to wake me up at 9am so I'd have time to get ready for church. Promptly at 9, Chuck came in and began the routine of getting me up. I typically just lie there, unmoving for several minutes. Sometimes I make a noise or two to communicate something or rather.

At some point in the haze of the morning routine, Chuck whispered in a sing song voice, "I have a surprise for you!" Breakfast (food, of course!) was my first thought. But then I heard him get up, pick up his laptop, and bring it back into bed. After getting my glasses I rolled over and found THIS!

Chuck and I had scouted out many blog ideas on Saturday. Since web design is his profession, he gets really excited to do any project of that nature. We finally narrowed it down to this, my favorite idea. Then, the next morning Chuck got up early and created this perfect new design just for me!

I was so excited I clicked on my blog all day just to admire his handy work. I told him he should have waited until Christmas! What a gift!

I hope you enjoy the new look, I owe it all to the gifted and generous husband of mine!

TODAY!

2009-11-12T16:34:00.000-05:00

Chuck and I met exactly one year ago TODAY! Since I already wrote about that night 2 posts ago, I'll just say: PRAISE GOD FROM WHO ALL BLESSINGS FLOW! If you asked me one year ago today if I'd be married, I'd say "YAY RIGHT." Now here I am, 4 1/2 months into marriage with the man that has already surpassed all my wildest dreams! God. Is. MIND-BOGGLING. Thank you God!!!

I love you, Babe. Happy One-Year-Since-We-Met-Anniversary!

(and thank you, as always, KT!)

Let it Snow!

2009-11-10T16:50:00.002-05:00

Notice anything new about my blog? (Thanks to my talented, computer savvy man!)

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! =)

I Rememer THE DAY!

2009-11-02T21:36:00.007-05:00

I have made some new, sweet friends recently while leading a teen girl's Shepherd Group through our church. Inquiring minds wanted to know how Chuck and I met so I shared our story. There has been a request for me to WRITE out the story, and as promised, here I will tell it again. Happily! =)

A little over a year ago I moved to VA from MN. I began attending a church in the area comprised mostly of single, twenty to thirty-something adults called Frontline. The very first night I attended Frontline was the very last night anyone was able to sign up for a Fall Retreat they were having. I immediately went home and signed up! I was dying to get connected, and be involved in that church community. I already had 2 friends that were going, so they made sure we would be staying in the same room.

When I got to the retreat, my 2 friends introduced me to their friends! Low and behold, I met my friend, Katie for the first time. We clicked right away and became "Retreat Best Friends". Of course we talked A LOT about boys that weekend. As I was describing the type of guy I was interested in, Katie stopped on the sidewalk and said, "I know the perfect guy for you! He is a Youth Pastor, he dyes his hair, and he has piercings." What more did I need in a guy?! =)

When we got home from the retreat Katie showed me pictures of Chuck on Facebook. That's when I told her, now I HAVE to meet him! Boy was he gooooood lookin'! I certainly didn't want to pass up a chance with him.

A couple months later Katie was giving Chuck swimming lessons as he wanted to train for a triathlon. While they were doing that, I was slaving away working at Starbucks. As my shift was ending Katie called to ask if I wanted to join her and Chuck for a late dinner. I was instantly THRILLED! But then I realized what I was wearing. Ugh. Work khaki pants, a black work shirt, ugly black work shoes and to top it all off, I had worn a hat all night so I had hat hair! Of all nights to set me up with Chuck! Curiosity (or hormones!) got the best of me and I drove on over to TGI Fridays.

When I walked in the door, Chuck's back was to me. He had on a trendy, stylish hat and an earring in each ear (cartilage) which I had always loved on guys. Once I got to the table, the first thing Chuck did was stand up. He extended his hand and I was stunned. When was the last time a guy was gentlemanly enough to stand and shake my hand? I felt so special already!

I chose to sit next to Katie, across from the terribly good looking boy to have a better view. The three of us chatted the night away! We discussed a variety of topics, laughed, ate, and even shared our hearts. I even mentioned this blog at one point, in hopes Chuck might catch the bait. (He posted a comment the very next day! Whoo hoo!)

We all said our good-byes and I hoped I would hear from him some day. Of course Katie called me the SECOND we were in our cars! We died laughing because she had told me so much about Chuck in advance, but the poor guy had no clue he was being set up!

Little did I know that Chuck went home that night and told his roommate, "I don't know what it is about that girl (ME!), but I have to see her again!" (Ugly Starbucks clothes and all!)

And THAT my friends, is how it all began! =)

Sunday Evening Blues??

2009-10-04T20:53:00.007-04:00

Last Sunday afternoon I went out for coffee with some new girlfriends. They were both saying they had "The Sunday Night Blues". Both had to go back to work the next morning and confessed to feeling down about the weekend coming to a close. I didn't say much at the time, but I went home and declared to Chuck, "I don't have the Sunday night blues!" (said with a major grin on my face!)

I really love my life! I love my day-to-day routine. Since I started watching Samuel 2 days a week, there has been some adjusting, but I think the kinks are being worked out quite nicely. Watching Samuel is a blessing! It's nice to have a little friend hangin' with me for 2 days!

So on this Sunday evening, I do not write with blues, I write with...purples! (I had to choose a different color, so I picked my favorite one!) Chuck is scurrying around working on his To Do List (NOT a honey-do, his OWN, thank you very much!) so I feel the urge to write!

Our weekend has been full of each other. It started off with my husband walking in the door on Friday after work with 10, gorgeous, red roses just for me! ("The Perfect 10" they were called.) He proclaimed, "Happy Date Night!" We had been given a giftcard to The Cheesecake Factory, along with a gift from a friend so we were able to have our FIRST restaurant date since our honeymoon! Praise God!

Afterwards we went for a stroll around the lake where Chuck proposed to me just a little over 7 months ago! (Ha! Feel free to laugh! It's just mind-boggling how God has brought us together in such a little amount of time!) We sat on "our" bench and reminisced about that night. We snuggled on our bench and gazed at "our" beautifully lit up fountain shinning so prettily against the dark of the evening. It was just one of those perfect moments in time where all is well.

On Saturday we were honored to attend the wedding of Chuck's good friend, Tony to his bride, Jennifer. What a gorgeous day it was for a wedding! Everything was beautiful! We had a wonderful time seeing friends, catching up with people, and enjoying the huge Chinese feast they served us!

The rest of the weekend we have been able to JUST BE. Relaxing on our new couch, taking naps together, eating yummy meals, taking walks, talking, reading, going to our church, laughing, and being the happy couple God has joined us together to be!

Sunday night blues? Nah! I got my Babe by my side and a brand new episode of Alias to attend to! =)

Stay-at-home-What?! Part III

2009-09-22T16:11:00.003-04:00

So what do I DO all day?! Easy. I follow my heart's desire and that is to take care of my husband! Obviously that can look a million different ways for a million different people. For me, I enjoy planning, creating, preparing, and administrating our home.

A friend gave me this awesome calendar and I write out chores, meals, activities, our schedules and fun stuff on there. Then during the week I pretty much follow the calendar. I love To-Do lists! I love keeping our home organized, cleaned and feeling homey. I love having every thing in it's place so that when Chuck comes home from work he feels that he can sit down, relax and enjoy our home.

During the day I get to spend time with God, journal, read, study, prepare lessons (Youth Group Shepherd group I'll be leading), and pray! I work out as well, which is amazing since last year I often was not able to. I enjoy planning meals, preparing dinner, making treats, you name it! It's especially fun when we have family or friends over, which we love! I've been able to help friends, volunteer at events, and tomorrow I even get to go lobbying in DC!

And now, just this week, I started watching my friend's baby! It's only 2 days a week and I still get to stay home! God continues to provide! I am deeply grateful. I'm living the life of my dreams.

Stay-at-home-What?! Part II

2009-09-18T11:54:00.002-04:00

It has been one of the biggest joys of my life to be Chuck's wife, and to stay at home. I was greatly reminded of this passion the other day when a good friend of mine announced, "I just want to be a wife and a mom!" (This coming from a woman with an amazing career!) She uttered the EXACT sentence I have said for countless years. And now ladies and gentlemen, I am a wife! I keep announcing it because it's still hard to fathom.

Staying home hasn't come without difficulty though. I did not expect the intangible pressure that is out there for a young married woman to be working. I did not expect the funny looks, the confused glances, or the silence that would follow. I can understand though in our Nation's Capitol, with hard-working women driven in their careers all over the place, I am not the norm (any more).

Staying home hasn't come without sacrifice either. It is not easy financially. I'm certainly not a Desperate Housewife of DC. Because my husband is firm in his support of me desiring to stay home, we have both accepted certain sacrifices that have to be made in order for me to be able to do this. Interestingly enough, this has been that part that has been most exciting!

GOD PROVIDES. Obviously God provides, but saying it and living it are two completely different entities. It would take hours to read my blog if I were to recount all the crazy ways God has provided for us. I can just feel God's support and encouragement of this decision that Chuck and I have made! After all, God is the one who has given me the desire to be a wife!

Whether it was through a "random" bill that we ended up not having to pay, money showing up in strange places around our apartment (No lie! This has happened more then once!), being taken out to eat, being given food, "late" wedding gifts, or a small raise for Chuck= GOD ALWAYS PROVIDES in wonderful, incredible, mysterious ways! I was so excited about God's provisions last night that I could hardly fall asleep! But it's true! God has blessed us and we are humbled. It never ceases to blow my mind how intricately God works.

Don't get me wrong. If God leads me to go back to work, then work I will. I understand sometimes that is how he provides. But for now, I am marveling and wondering at this gift I have to be HOME for my husband!

And the answer to the ever-popular question, "What do you DO all day?" Well, you'll just have to wait and see for Part III!

Stay-at-home-What?!

2009-09-15T12:40:00.002-04:00

This Sunday marks 3 months of marriage for us! I do believe it's been the fastest 3 months of my life. Though in some ways, our wedding still feels like yesterday. At any rate, I now have 3 months as being a wife under my belt. Not a day goes by where I am not in wonder at my new life.

Chuck and I have been surrounded by brand new people and situations. We've officially joined a new church together. We had prayed very specifically about what we believe a church should be and this church has certainly proved to be God's answer.

Through our new church, we've joined a shepherd group (small group) that meets in a home. It's a multi-generational group that we both have come to thoroughly love. We're also volunteering in the youth group together. I've already attended my first Girl's Night Out event. It made me excited to continue volunteering!

On top of a new church, Chuck has a new job. Seems every where we turn, new people are around the corner. Because of this, the same old introductions have been repeated countless times. "Where are you from? Have you lived here long? How long of you been married?" and the most popular question to be asked,

"What do you do?"

I'm pretty sure I have the most unique answer for my age. It almost always catches people off guard. Especially in this area.

"I am a stay at home wife!" =)

To Be Continued....

Jamaican me Crazy!

2009-09-01T12:14:00.010-04:00

I've been missing our Jamaican honeymoon lately! We visited The Grand Palladium Resort and Spa near Montego Bay. Our honeymoon vacation was a gift from God. People ask us if we would go back and we always say, "We'd recommend YOU go, but if we're gonna travel like that again, it would be fun to try something new!" I do think we had the best trip either of us has ever taken! We went for 8 nights and 9 days of bliss morning, noon, and night! The resort was all inclusive which made us feel like royalty! We went on a "date" for every single meal! In between meals, we lived in the sun- either next to their enormous pool, or right on the beach!

This is our very own balcony off of our fabulous room! We were on the third floor of a Villa. You can see the other Villas in the background, along with one of the pools.

Ocean magic! This was our view from the majority of the scrumptious restaurants. We loved hanging out on the very top balcony.

Welcome to paradise!

Mmmm...tans glowing after a day of fun in the sun!

We're so MFEO! (Sleepless in Seattle anyone?? =)

I think we could have spent our honeymoon in a paper sack and still had a phenomenal time together, but God had other plans! We are so blessed that our trip was such a gorgeous, tropic, dream-come-true vacation of a lifetime!

My Girl

2009-08-29T15:06:00.002-04:00

My Daddy and I's dance at the wedding! =)

The Way You Look Tonight

2009-08-25T14:36:00.003-04:00

Thanks for the video, Jen! We LOVE it! =)

Over the Rainbow

2009-08-20T13:22:00.015-04:00

Happy 2 Month Anniversary to the man who makes me come alive with a radiance in my soul that I have never known! Indeed, the dreams that I dared to dream really did come true.

Dancing onstage at The Mellow Theater in Scranton, Pennsylvania seemed more like a dream then reality. Joanna Nunemaker and her assistant, Janean Truax artistically captured such dramatic scenes between my husband of just a few hours, and I on our wedding day. They made it seem as if we had all the time in the world to be in the spotlight, on stage, the stars of each other's show. And we were. We gazed at each other, danced across the stage with no music needed at all, laughed, whispered our thoughts to each other, and basked in the utopic feeling of our day. We hardly noticed our talented photographers as our only audience.

I will not soon forget how it felt to done the gown of my dreams on that monumentous day. It was nothing like being a princess or even a queen. It was more then even that. Dress flowing for miles seemingly, my brand new husband sweeping me into his arms, and the beauty of our emotion entwined together created nothing short of a miracle from our God.

Here we are in a private moment on the grand stairs at The Colonnade in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Joanna was creatively nearby at all times, but we seemed to hardly take note. We were caught up in each other, in our own magic. In just a few seconds we descended the elegant steps to be cheered on by those who love us so dear.

There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby Babe, and it's beyond what I could have ever asked or imagined. I adore you and love you with all my heart. You know where to find me.

Reading Rainbow!

2009-08-17T15:12:00.005-04:00

I came across this video today and found myself singing joyfully along! SO heartwarming! I used to love this show. I guess it's my love for reading, writing, and all things literature. It's amazing how one small memory can trigger such happy, warm, and safe feelings. I can totally picture myself as a little girl snuggled up on our old family couch mesmerized by this show and all the books it advertised. I love reading!