Two weeks ago today, I was incredibly nervous, as predicted, to drive across the neighborhood and walk into a house full of complete strangers. Many people have asked me why I was so nervous. I guess I only know my own personality, so it’s hard for me to fathom why anyone wouldn’t understand the nerves? Being shy by nature, but friendly by nurture (thank you Mom and Dad!), I think those who meet me (but don’t truly know me well) are surprised at my social anxieties. Simply put, I was nervous because this was a huge change, an unknown situation, with unknown people, with unknown outcomes, and I was dragging my kids right along with me.
The night before I went to the new group, I didn’t sleep well. I tossed and turned. The next morning I got even more anxious and took those emotions out on Chuck. I believe I may have snapped at him over his wrong technique at heating up a breakfast sandwich in the microwave. His response was to pull me into a hug and pray over me. This was the first time I cried. After he prayed, I noticed how excited the kids were to head over to the new group. Jase kept saying, “Play with new friends!” while jumping and smiling. This really did make my heart happy. God was showing me through Jase this was something I could be excited about, too.
When we pulled up to the house to park, I got tears in my eyes again. It was so hard to get out of the car and walk, but God gave me the Audacity (Beth Moore) to move my legs. That’s all it took. I just had to move. A sweet little blondie greeted us by yelling “Hello!” from the front porch. My kids were excited to run into the new house, and their spirit was contagious.
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| Bristle blocks! |
In the end, we had a lovely time. The kids had endless toys to play with, a bounce house to jump in, a swing set to climb on, and this Mama even made a craft (Now that’s hilarious, if you know me!) while drinking coffee.
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| Oh my. Serious about my crafting. |
Throughout the morning there, I had the privilege of meeting 4-5 other Moms, and about 7 kids. On the way home, I had more tears in my eyes, but for a different reason. Each one has a story. Each one has a destiny. Each one has needs. Each one needs love- and I absolutely mean the love of Jesus. Each one needs Jesus Himself- some may already know Him, others may not. So yes, my heart is all in. If God uses me to spread His love, and His gospel it would the greatest joy I could imagine.
It might be strange to say, but I love those girls already.
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| Baby Girl loved crafting. |
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| He was laughing hysterically at the sounds this gun makes.... ;) |
3 comments:
If it makes you feel any better, I too get extremely nervous over new social things. I avoid them like the plague. And when I do need to be a part of them, people see a very quiet, very reserved me (just because I am just trying not to get sick to my stomach). I have learned that I gain so much out of pushing through the nerves and awkwardness and fear, and yet with each new thing I tend to be right back at the same place. I am so thankful that Kevin and God are so patient with me when it comes to the whole thing! Good job on going to the new group and stretching your wings!
Abigail! How amazing. I am so excited to see how God is using you. I may or may not have gotten teary eyed reading this. I get nervous going to stuff like this for the first time too. Who knows why? I LOVE being around people.
I love even just hearing about how Chuck reacted to your anxiety. He knows you so well & he knows your heart. I can only dream of a relationship like that someday. I have no doubts that God will be touching the hearts of these women through you before you know it!
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