Last summer at this time, we were living in PA. We were deeply wounded, our hearts severed, and the pain we carried so raw it felt like a tangible illness. There were days where a darkness would engulf me, and my body felt physically ill. Going to common landmarks in PA like the Rutters gas station store or the local Walmart hurt like crazy. It was torture to be living there. There were nights I would wake up completely soaked through in sweat, all the way down to the sheets. I'd have to get a dry towel out to lay on, and change my clothes completely. After seeing the doctor, I later found out the extreme stress we were under was causing those horrific night sweats.
By the end of August, our house had sold in a matter of two days and we were able to move up our closing date a couple weeks earlier. Our dearest friends in PA came to help us load up our massive moving truck one night.
I remember going to pick up pizza that night for our people, and weeping in the car after pulling back in. What we were going through felt impossible to recover from. How would we even began to heal from such catastrophic rejection and wounding?
The next morning, we closed on our house, hugged a dear family who had loved us and our children so well, and headed to VA. I've always envisioned there was a trail of blood behind us the whole way. Emotionally, I was hanging on by a thread.
But then about two hours and forty-five minutes in, we hit the Shenandoah Valley. The mountains welcomed us on either side of the highway, the views went on for miles, the weather got warmer, and our hearts began to feel something we hadn't felt in some time. We belonged.
We pulled into the long driveway of Chuck's family's farm and instantly felt like we were finally home. It had started to rain, but it felt gorgeous to me. The corn was tall as could be out in the fields, the bugs were singing their beautiful melodies, and the mountain views took my breath away. I stepped into the farmhouse all alone, went straight to the screened in porch, and gazed upon the natural beauty again. Joyful tears filled my eyes. God's peaceful haven, just for us. Just for our healing.
Minutes later, 3 people from the church God led us to be apart of (to hear that miraculous story, read this) showed up to help us unload our truck. We had never met any of them before that night! Friends from our former church in VA also showed up to help us unload, and we felt it again. Belonging.
Though we knew God clearly led us to VA, and Grace Covenant Church, we did not understand our purpose here. Chuck applied for countless jobs, and the only place that offered him a full-time position was Lowe's. A low-paying job with ridiculous hours. Chuck has worked there since last October while still consistently applying for other jobs. He has not had one single job offer in that time. His heart's desire was to serve students and share Jesus, but our church already had an amazing Youth Director. We looked into non-profits, missions, campus ministries, and more, but there was never an open door. So we waited and waited and waited some more.
Over the course of the year, we heard plenty of comments that discouraged us. Questions that tugged at our own doubts and insecurities. “Does Chuck want to make a career out of Lowe's?” “Does he even want to do ministry anymore?” “Is he even applying for church positions outside of this area?” “Maybe God wants you to move somewhere else.”
Our questions never had answers. Our longings were not fulfilled. Things got harder. Our savings dwindled. We had to move again, and dump money into rent instead of a house that we owned. Month after month ticked by and we constantly felt like our life was in limbo. What was our reason for even being here? Chuck could work at Lowe's anywhere in the county.
The thing we heard from Holy Spirit a year ago was move to VA, and attend Grace Covenant Church. There was no other direction, so we clung to the last Word He gave us, and continued to claim it over our family. Without knowing why, without having any vision for what our future looked like we stayed here and we walked in faith. At times, we did not feel hope but we kept walking. We kept believing we had heard the Lord a year ago and we continued to obey.
Doubts plagued us. Did we miss something? Did we think we heard from God, but really we didn't? Did we make a wrong choice somewhere along the way and completely lose out on what our purpose was supposed to be?
So while we walked toward our unknown destination, we also served and got involved. The people at our new church became little healers, giving us pieces of our hearts back bit by bit. Chuck served the people at Lowe's every shift he worked. He prayed over countless individuals- for healing, for provision, for hope. He spoke life over customers and coworkers. He shined the light of Jesus in a dark place. I had the powerful opportunity to pray over women in prison, and have been mentored by spirit-filled, passionately Godly women. We got to be outside of the church walls this past year and be in the community. That has truly been a joy. The days I get to pray for women at the prison, my heart bursts with excitement.
While we walked, God blessed. We have never missed a payment on a bill. We have never gone hungry. When we owed several thousand dollars after my appendectomy, God covered that bill, too. When Chuck had to get a tooth implant, and we couldn't afford it, God paved the way. When all of our savings ran dry, and we wondered how we would pay our bills, two checks from dear people showed up in the mail- IN THE SAME WEEK. We received a Walmart gift card for groceries, and even free passes and free rides to the county fair!
On June 25, we began to feel the shift in God's plan for us. A good friend of ours shared with us after 7 years, he would be stepping down from his position as Youth Director at our church. We were stunned to hear this news. I felt it would have been impolite to scream while jumping up and down doing jumping jacks, so I refrained. I couldn't even look over at Chuck. It just seemed too good to be true.Over the last month and a half, we have done a lot of praying, had a lot of meetings, and talked with each other ad nauseum about the opening at our church. It would be a dream if Chuck got the position, but what if he didn't? Then we would really be confused about our future.
Chuck met with the leadership several times, and we continued to wait. Finally the day arrived. I got a call from Chuck while he was at work. “They offered me the position.” Chuck's Mom was sitting across the table from me and I exclaimed, “Did you hear that?!” I put him on speaker phone so she could hear, too. “They offered me the position!” We hooted and hollered and cheered- well I did at least. My MIL isn't really the hoot and hollering type, but she sure did celebrate with us!
Chuck officially starts working at our church this coming Sunday, just three days shy of our 1 year anniversary of moving here. It feels surreal. Having the leadership tell my husband, “We believe you're the one for this role” and “We want YOU.” does more for our hearts than we even knew possible.
This opportunity is nothing short of a miracle from our Father. I picture Him smiling and hugging us saying, “I told you to move to VA, and go to GCC. You heard me right, children. You heard me right.”Today I thank Abba God because when we didn't feel any hope, HE was hope. When we couldn't see any possible opportunity, HE made the impossible happen. When we didn't think there was any way, HE made a way.
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