Today

Two years ago today, life as I knew it was forever altered. My heart was ripped from my body and shattered into millions of pieces. Two years ago today, my heart was turned into tiny grains of black sand and the painful, turbulent winds of life blew those grains all over the world. Two years ago today, I thought it would be impossible to put all those grains of sand that were my heart back into one solid mass. Have you ever tried to clean up a pile of sand? It’s impossible. The grains are too tiny, too miniscule to be able to restore them. Two years ago today, I didn’t think I would ever be a person again. Two years ago today, I never would have known that my Father God could turn the sickness and agony of my broken life into something beautiful and good. Two years ago today, I never would have pictured myself living in Minneapolis on my own, all by myself, and happy.
Today I am here to tell you that I am whole. I am a person again. I live, and breathe, and revel in my God. I exist to love Him, and love others. It’s my calling in life, and I love where that role takes me.
It brings me to a secular job with a huge variety of people to love and pour myself into. It brings me to a job where I can listen to people’s hurts, and show them a life restored and renewed by a powerful God. MY powerful God.
This role brings me to be able to spend a week at a Bible camp with six teenaged girls. I was able to love them, share with them, and pray for them. I was privileged to be used by God on that trip.
The role also provides me with a chance to work with a woman to help her write her story. I am able to use my passion to write to help someone else express how God has worked in her life in the most painful of circumstances.
I am also able to look forward to meeting with a group of college girls from a secular campus every week. I get to invest in their lives, share God with them, and live life together with Him. What more could I ask for?
I am astounded that it’s two years later today. I am in awe to know God in a deeper, intimate, more loving way then I ever imagined possible. I can go to bed tonight, yes, aching over what happened- grieving, always grieving- but with a thankful and restored heart.
Impossible? No, not with my God. He can turn tiny, miniscule black grains of sand into some thing solid, pure, and beautiful. He gives beauty for ashes.