Daily Dubbe

Hey all! Happy rainy Tuesday! Rainy days can be really great. They give me an excuse not to pressure myself to take the kids outside. They give me an excuse to drink an extra cup of coffee. AND, they make for the perfect writing atmosphere! So here I am with my steaming mug of dark roast flavored with the hidden gem I found at Walmart the other night- white chocolate raspberry creamer! I thought those Christmas creamers were long gone- bless you, Walmart. Oh, and don't miss the yummy salted caramel biscotti hiding in the corner. (A lovely gift from my Aunt and cousin who visited over the weekend!) This is my view, and welcome to it!
It's been a few months since the launch of the new direction on the blog. I want to THANK YOU for following along! Thank you for reading, thank you for responding, and thank you for your support! It really does mean so much to me.
Thought I'd take some time to write the first ever, "Daily Dubbe"! This just means I'm going to give an update on our little corner of the world for those of you who care, or are even just curious. I'll start with our Numero Uno- the man, the myth, the legend, and my very own husband- Reverend Chuck Dubbe.
That's right, after years of dreaming, preparing, serving, studying, and loving hard on Jesus and students, Chuck was officially ordained last Wednesday night. It was an incredibly special evening. A few amazing friends graciously came to support Chuck, and our parents were able to Skype in (if you look closely at the picture, their Skype screen is up on the back wall). One of the most touching parts was that each elder shared a portion of Scripture to affirm Chuck in his role as the High School Youth Pastor, and as a man. Each one also prayed over him, and it was powerful. At one point I looked up to see Chuck's parents watching while all the elders laid hands on Chuck. I can only imagine how that must have encouraged their hearts. Of course it was impossible to hold back the tears. I'm so proud of my man. My heart bursts with affection for my guy. He works tirelessly to serve me, and our family first, with ministry second. Congratulations, Pastor Babe!
Date night for my birthday!
Next up is our bundle of energy, creativity, intelligence, passion and strength. Our baby boy is 2! Praise be to God, he has been healthy for such a long stretch of time! He has not had a fever even once since we've moved into our new house! Jesus has His mighty hand of protection over my babies day and night. After multiple fevers and sicknesses in a row, God obviously knew I couldn't handle it anymore, and He graciously gave me a big break. And the greatest news of all, Jase has been seizure-free since August! I can't even express how grateful I am for the Spirit's protection over my son. He is Healer!
Jase is crazy about puzzles, coloring, stickers, cars/"auto's", Little Einsteins/"steinsteins", his friend Becca, tractors/"crackters", making snow angels, helping/"help Mama!", the moon, and books/"wooks". He is such a giggler, snuggler, hugger, and I cherish that he still wants me to hold him. His sweetness melts my heart to pieces and pieces.

That face just kills me.
And last, but not least, my "Precious Heart" as I call her! Oh the preciousness of our baby girl. Such sugar. She is our adventure girl! She has been, and is going through a lot. But always with a smile on her darling face.
In the past year Basye has been diagnosed with Torticollis (short and tight neck muscles that cause her head to tilt to the right); Plagiocephaly (asymmetrical head including flattening); Allergies (peanuts, pistachios, cashews); and we are seeing a specialist for a potential new issue at the end of the week. This has meant weekly and monthly visits with a physical therapist, neurosurgeon, allergist, pediatrician, and orthotics specialist. It has meant her wearing a helmet for 23 hours a day since she was 4 months old. It has meant carrying around EpiPen Jr's in case of an emergency. It has meant this Mama being OVERWHELMED on a regular basis. It has meant a whole lot of mental and emotional processing. It has meant a lot of tears and grief over the loss of how I wanted my baby's first year of life to play out. I have been tempted to write an entire post on the helmet alone, but it's such an incredibly emotional topic for me I haven't wanted to go there. Yet.  
My baby girl is amazing in every way. She hasn't let these curve balls stunt her for one second. She is constantly surprising us with her development and growth- even walking at ten months old! And talking more words than I can believe at thirteen months old! "Mama, Papa, Jase, Pat-Pat, night-night, bye, and uh-oh" have been some of her firsts. She blows my mind with her resilience.
She has brought the brightest ray of feminine joy and beauty into this family!
Can't even. 

Dedicating Basye to God and the church!  
To sum it all up- Jesus has blessed us, and healed us, and loved us Dubbes in such personal and unique ways. Through the ups and downs, peaks and valleys. We honor Him. He reigns supreme, and we are grateful!
I don't say it enough. THANK YOU sweet Jesus, for the gift of my family. I treasure them, but may I treasure you more.

Abba. Papa.

The song I posted last week has been the theme of my heart in a deep and unexpected way. When I lie awake, “Abba” runs through my mind. When I wake up in the middle of the night, “I belong to you” has been dancing through my thoughts. The phrase, “You’re closer than the skin on my bones” has been bursting in my heart. JESUS!

I feel chills on my arms as I acknowledge His presence as closer than the skin on my bones, not just as close. It’s such a tangible illustration. So greatly impacting. To understand Jesus is inside me dwelling and abiding fills me with a feeling in my heart I struggle to express. It’s like I can physically feel something new there.

God brought this song into my life at the exact perfect moment. It was on a morning when I felt completely wrecked. I was getting ready for the day while the kids were in their respective rooms for their own rest times. There are days when my time in the bathroom for showering, and doing my make-up and hair are anything but peaceful, but I strive to make that routine intentional. A time where I can pray for people, connect with Jesus, and worship Him through listening to songs on Pandora. On this particular day my mind was a mess of thoughts- all tangled up like a large ball of rubber bands tied together with no hope of ever coming unraveled.

Until the brand-new-to-me song floated across the air. “Abba”. I stopped what I was doing as soon as the song ended and looked it up on Youtube. I needed to hear it again. And again. And again. God used it to speak volumes to me through a few simple words.

Our kids call Chuck, “Papa”. It’s the German title for “Dad”, and since Chuck speaks only German to the kids, it’s fitting. It took me awhile to get used to referring to Chuck as “Papa” to the kids as I had no prior experience with the title. Now when I hear my babies call out, “Papa!” it shoots warmth through me like hot coffee on a cold afternoon. The name Papa is endearing. It’s welcoming. It’s warm. It’s comforting. It’s strong. It’s safe. It’s good.

Jesus is my Papa! Another name for Abba or Daddy. Papa God. So sweet. So gentile. But so fiercely strong, protective, pure, and holy all wrapped up into one title. Listening to the song, “Abba” has showed me how in love with Papa Jesus I am. The song is my melody to Him. It opens my heart to receive Him as my deepest love, and to want Him even more.

I feel ravenous sometimes. I have a strong desire to hear from Him through the Scriptures. When I’m (rarely) in the car by myself, I want to blast Bethel Live music so I can worship Him through singing. I am soaking up books about Him, and messages from others about Him. Chuck and I talk about Him, and desire Him more together. I need Papa Jesus so badly.

Just five short months ago I prayed the simple prayer Beth Moore prompted listeners to pray at the Living Proof Simulcast, “Jesus, crack my heart open to a romance with you.” That’s ALL it took. I meant it, and He took me seriously. My heart is cracked, and there’s no turning back.

This is nothing of my own doing. Nothing at all. If you find yourself with even a hint of wanting something more with Abba- Papa Jesus, ask Him. He will draw you in like you’ve never known. 

Does anyone else feel particularly moved to Jesus by a certain song, author, or speaker? Do share- I always enjoy a good recommendation!  

***Back in January, Beth Moore started speaking on TV every Wednesday night. Since we don't get the station, I have been watching online here:   Beth Moore on TV The simulcast I referred to was split into 4 increments and aired for 4 weeks. Start with "Audacious, Week 1" for some powerful fuel for your soul! I'm thrilled and so thankful I was able to hear those messages again.

A Love Letter

You and I have come a long way. Or rather, I’ve come a long way. You’ve always been there. I love that about you. You wait for me. You are patient. You never push me in our relationship. You allow me space to think, to learn to trust, to process, to dwell, and to understand. I love you for that.

Today, my own words pale in comparison to those already written. These words are a love song in my heart for you. I adore you. I am filled up with you. I’m so in love with you. This song is resounding in my deepest soul for you. My heart burns for you. I want more of you. I long for deeper intimacy! I want to want you more. So, I finish my love letter to you with these words by Jonathan David Helser. I love you, my Jesus. Happy Valentine's Day!

"You’re more real than
The ground I’m standing on
You’re more real than
The wind in my lungs
Abba, I belong to You

You’re closer than the
Skin on my bones
You’re closer than the
Song on my tongue
Your thoughts define me
You’re inside me
You’re my reality

Abba, I belong to you.”

Hello, My Name Is Abigail!

Hello, my name is Abigail. My birth certificate says Abigail. My license says Abigail. My passport says Abigail. Every single official document in my life says ABIGAIL. I tell people my name is Abigail. I want to be called Abigail. Some call me, “Ab” or “Abs” or “Babe” (Ok, maybe only one person calls me that.) or “Auntie” or “Aunt Abigail” or “Mama”- all names I love to hear. All names that bring joy to my heart. All names that fill me up with respect, affirmation, and affection. All names I like to be called.

I borrowed the title to this post from my great husband. Several weeks ago, he spoke to a group of people in their twenties (How am I not in my twenties anymore? Like, not even close.) on our names. There are many instances in the Bible where God changed people’s names. Sarai:Sarah, Abram:Abraham, Saul:Paul, Jacob:Israel. And even times where people changed their own names. Naomi:Mara. This says to me names are extremely important.
There is value in a name. There is meaning to it. If you don’t know the meaning of your name, I encourage you to look it up! There is power in a name. God has so many names it would take years of study for me to count them all. And each name of God means something completely astounding. I love that He is Emmanuel-God With Us. I love that He has a name that means God is There. I love that He has a name that means Healer.  I recently discovered that Jesus translates in the Hebrew to mean, “God delivers/rescues/saves His people”. Blows me away!
HE HAS RESCUED ME. There are days thoughts of My Rescuer slip to the back of my brain. On those days, or in those moments, I get caught up in my mind. I feel tangled in a mess of thoughts like seaweed snagged around the plastic piece of a six-pack. My brain feels like its twisting and tumbling and tied up. All my worries and fears and struggles feel like they will be hopeless to untie.

I used to be able to stuff the seaweed. I used to be able to tuck the tied up plastic six-pack into out of reach places, but that’s not working for me anymore. I’m a Mother now. I’m responsible for my emotional and mental health. If I’m not in a healthy place in my mind, then my husband and kids suffer of course, but I suffer the most.

What’s amazing is, the one Name that can untangle, untie, and sort out the mess is JESUS. My Rescuer. My Savior. My Deliverer. Jesus. My One. My Only. In the days or moments when thoughts of Him are slipping to the back, I call out His name. Loudly. Clearly. JESUS! And there is Peace. There is Rest. “The one the LORD loves (That includes ALL of us. That includes YOU, my friend.) rests between His shoulders”. Deuteronomy 33:12

Wherever you are in this season of life, wherever you are in the moment of just this day- He beckons you to rest between His shoulders. He beckons you to cry out His name. He calls you by your name, and you are adored by Him.

Abigail means, “Father’s source of joy”. I’ve always clearly known how much joy I’ve brought to my earthly Dad, but knowing I bring JOY to my Jesus takes my breath away. I find such joy in Him, and I’m brought to my knees in awe He finds joy in me, too. And in you.

So what does your Name mean? What do you love to be called? May your name be a blessing to you today!   


Give-Away Day!

I LOVE a Give-Away Day! Congratulations to Jess Lockwood! Gretchen's book will be heading your way very soon. And a big THANK YOU to all who commented. Many blessings of Sweet Things to each of you.