Sweet Love

Today I was sitting on the couch perusing silly stuff on my phone while Jase played on the floor.  I was feeling pretty lonely, and not sure what I should do next.  So many thoughts were going through my head like, "Some day I should plant a garden", or "I should really learn how to can vegetables from my future garden", or "I don't want Jase to grow up with so much technology.  I want him to run outside, play outside, ride his bike outside, and use his imagination!",  or "Maybe we should buy a house in the country".  I tend to feel like what I do on a daily basis is a waste.  NOT the caring for Jase part, but the other stuff.  All the stuff I feel like I'm not doing.  Then I heard the garage door go up and I instantly got tears in my eyes.  Chuck had come home for lunch!  He rarely comes home for lunch so this was a great surprise.  When he opened the door, the first thing I saw was a Dunkin Donuts iced tea.  I suspected it was blueberry, and I was right.  He got me my favorite drink.

Several tears slipped out, and I tried to wipe them away quickly because I couldn't really define why I was crying.  I think it's because Chuck being there right when I needed him- without him even knowing- was just pure love.  It was his love for me that brought tears.  I'm underserving of his kindness.  Trust me, if I blogged about how awful I can be towards him, it would astound people.  Or maybe not.  I know many wives are jerks to their husbands, but that doesn't make me feel any better about my sin.   A couple hours before Chuck arrived I had spent a good amount of time crying over my awful attitude towards my husband.  I have apologized to him so.many.times I don't think my apologies count anymore.  I told God I just can't take myself anymore.  My crankiness, my meanness, my discontentedness, on and on the list goes.  It was really sweet of God to offer me His grace yet.again.  In fact, I ended up reading about God's freedom, of all things!   He was offering me freedom- right in the midst of my mess.  How underserving I am.

Later I came up to our office/guest room to send someone a message, and saw yet another sweet gift from Chuck.  He had put up a white ribbon in front of his lap top, and used tiny clothes pins to hang up about seven pictures of me.  Some of when I was a toddler, others from my high school days- including braces (EW!), and one from our second date.   Who would want to see that many pictures of me, haha?!  I know he didn't hang that up as a gift to me, but it was yet another reminder.  Another tug on my heart that simply said, "Love."    


Tonight Chuck and I start attending Financial Peace University.  It's really not as scholarly as it sounds- in fact, it's not even a university.  If you've never heard of Dave Ramsey, he's a Christian finance guy.  It's actually a mandatory class we have to take for Chuck's new job.  Needless to say, I'm not thrilled about being forced to drag ourselves there, but I've been working on having a positive spirit.  My Mom has always said I am the most stubborn of all her children.  I've already come a long way, if you can believe it.  One cool thing we found out about is that we'll be in the same group as a guy Chuck knows from the youth group.  He's very excited to be in the group with this guy.  (Man crush?;)  I am thankful we have a VCR so when we arrive home we can snuggle up with brownies, hot chocolate, and previously recorded American Idol.  I'm such a home body, what can I say?  Although I do have to admit it will be nice to meet people, and it's nice motivation to shower and actually do my hair.

In other news, Chuck and I are official library card holders again.  We ventured out to the library last night, and I checked out two books.  One on CD, and one normal book.  I am particularly excited about the author of the normal book that two friends highly recommended (Charles Martin).  I've been in a good book drought, and I really needed something great!

Well the boy is up.  Onward we go.

5 Months!

Our "Widdle Bun" is FIVE MONTHS old today!  In fact it's 11:33am, and five months ago today, Jase was born at 11:32am!  I was one happy girl at this time!  I am loving the five month old phase.  Our guy is such a joy.  He giggles all the time, "talks" a lot- especially in his crib, is an amazing sleeper- even slept until 9:23am today (went down at 7:45pm), he loves to kick and flail his arms like crazy, often ends up turned 180 degrees in his crib,  fake coughs regularly, he is really into toys now, drinks 8 oz bottles, smiles at me hundreds of times a day, and is the sweetest little thing I could possibly imagine.  He is so flexible, and has the best laid-back nature.  I am really challenged by the joy he exudes, I find myself really wanting to be like him.  And this boy is tall.  Just like his Daddy.  We are really crazy about our guy!  Oh, and these pictures are compliments of Miss Kayla:  https://www.facebook.com/joyoftheLordphoto  We praise God for our little healer!

Sweet Family Time

Though Chuck was (IS) still sick, he went on the winter retreat with the teens.  Ironically, both my parents were (ARE) sick as well, so my Mom wasn't able to watch Jase for me.  So, I stayed home from the retreat to be with Jase.  THANKFULLY my Aunt Cynthy and cousin Kayla came and saved the day.  They spent the whole weekend with Jase and I, and we all had a fabulous time together.  I am such a chicken and do not like staying alone at night, so it was a major blessing to have them.  Plus in the last 10 days, I've only been out of the house 2 times.  The girls and I were able to get out and go to Panera, Target, and The Christmas Tree Shopps.  Oh how good it felt to get OUT!  But even the time we had together in the house was wonderful.  We chatted non-stop, laughed til we cried, and even cried over the real life stuff going on.  My Aunt fixed dinner for us Saturday night- homemade beef and broccoli.  YUM-O!  Especially because I didn't have to cook. It was so.good.for.my.soul. to have them here.  God knew it was just what I needed.  Kayla is a great photographer and snapped some beautiful pictures of our little guy.  The first one is my absolute fav.   I just love those sweet girls, and am extremely grateful to call them family.