post vacation rut

i've been stuck in a post-vacation rut all week. my heart has been miserable, aching. i can not even define what it is that has plagued me to the point of sorrow. i've literally been grieving all week long. i don't think people at work could tell- i do like my job, and i enjoyed being there. but when i got home, i mourned. i layed around on the couch a lot, watched a lot of gilmore girls (because going to stars hollow is going to such a happy place!) and drank A LOT, and mean A LOT of mountain dew. it's my accilese (sp?!) heel, what can i say. i could not be around people, and no desire to be. i simply just had to mourn.

mainly, i think all of this is because my vacation was, indeed, so incredibly amazing. i was with every member of my family- all at the same time. we were together. i could cry even now just thinking about it. when i go back east, am reunited with my dear family, and then have to return to MN, i am always plagued with "why am i living in MN?!" it's truely strange.

but today, well today was of God. He used a friend to help get me out of my depressing funk. and He lead me to hear a message that my heart so desperately needed to hear. i was preciously reminded of the intimacy i have with my God. it's mine for the taking. it's at my finger tips, and i can be there any time i want. He is always opening His arms to me, inviting me in. inviting me to our oasis, our "sanctum"....

and i just got called into work. but, He's with me there, too...guess that's all for now...