It Happens

Yes, I'm aware that most of my posts lately have just gushed newly wed giddy happiness.  When I was single it was easy to post about life situations that upset me.  It was easy to post about something that depressed me, annoyed me, or made me angry.  It was common for me to share what was going on with my relationship with God, even sharing personal details.  Being married is a different story.  I can not air my dirty laundry because now another person is involved.  A lot of my business now is his business, too.

BUT I can air my dirty laundry when it's all my fault.  Yes, I fully take the blame and I ask any of you out there for Godly, wifely wisdom.  You see, I get teased sometimes as being "the perfect wife" merely because I stay home.  That couldn't be further from the truth.

I whine when Chuck is looking at the TV or computer and doesn't pay attention to me right away; I cry when I don't know what food to fix for our company; I get silent when something doesn't go my way; I get moody for absolutely no reason and take it our on my poor, unsuspecting husband; I argue even when I know I'm wrong; I worry; I fear; I fret; and then he comes into the kitchen.  He grabs me, holds me in his arms and says, "I just want you to  know that I love you, Abby.  For better and for worse. I support you."  And then I feel even worse and cry some more.

Yep, my friends, that is me as a wife.  These are my true colors as a newly wed.

The good news? Well, actually, the GREAT news is:  Praise Jesus, the Holy Spirit resides in my heart!  Oh yes he does.  I need God every moment of every second of every hour of every day.  I need him more then sleep, more then water, more then food, (and yes I said food, for those of you who know me well!) more then ANYTHING in this world, I need my God.

Thankfully my God forgives, and he gives me the grace to keep moving forward and to keep working hard at this wife thing.  God allows me room to try and fail, to be up and to be down, and he whispers strongly in my ear, "You need me alone.  Rest in me.  TRUST in me."  Oh how sweet it is to be loved by Jesus.

I don't think my husband knew what hit him when he married me!  My parents tried to warn him.  (Seriously.  My dad warned him about me!) But God has given Chuck this crazy, unconditional, incessant love that makes me want to strive even harder to be the Godly, loving, respectful and resting wife I can possibly be! 

Where would I be if not for my Savior?