The other night, Chuck and I rented a romance movie- it was
my turn to pick. I assumed he would fall asleep, as per the norm, but he stayed wide
awake. The movie ended up being painfully dumb. Very cheesy. Very unrealistic. But, it did get me thinking.
There was a scene where the newlywed wife was sitting out on
the front porch gazing at the ocean. Unbeknownst to her, the husband was
standing in the doorway gazing longingly at her. I turned to Chuck and said,
“Nobody does that. You never just stand there and stare at me, or me at you.”
We chuckled imaging ourselves doing that.
Having just celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary, my
mind has been aware of love. Love between a husband and wife isn’t what it
looks like in movies. It may resemble that kind of cheesiness when a couple
first starts dating, or first gets married, but that kind of infatuation takes
a back seat after awhile.
My younger brother just got married, and from what I hear
from family, he and his new bride are just goo-goo, ga-ga over each other. The
way they should be. But what about 7 years in? What does love look like after
the death of a Grandmother? Or the loss of two babies? Or the loss of a job? Or
when you move 5 times in 7 years? Or when kids do come along, and you’re no
longer able to only be about each
other?
What does love look like when physical illness hits, and
doctor bills put you in debt? Or when one person adores their circumstances and
the other hates them? Or when family members cause deep hurt and pain? Or when
life just feels mundane- day after day, week after week, month after month?
We know from Scripture husbands should love their wives, and
wives should respect their husbands, but this can be awfully difficult.
Especially when one is unlovable or unrespectable. I’ve been thinking love
looks like choices.
When one gets up early with the kids so the other can sleep
later- Love.
When one goes on a week-long trip, and the other stays home
with the kids- Love.
When one buys the other a treadmill with money they could
have used for something else- Love.
When one changes another dirty diaper so the other can keep
fixing dinner- Love.
When one has to work a lot over the weekend, and the other
joins in- Love.
When one buys the other a cinnamon roll even though they’d
prefer a cookie- Love.
When one stops at the store to pick up milk so the other one
doesn’t have to go out- Love.
When one does the dishes so the other one can just chill-
Love.
When one washes all the clothes while the other works on the
taxes- Love.
When one apologizes, and asks forgiveness- Love.
When one surprises the other by filling the car up with gas-
Love.
When one keeps an opinion to themselves so the other isn't hurt- Love.
When one listens while the other one shares their heart-
Love.
When one cries while the other one holds them close- Love.
When one cuts the grass while the other one makes dinner-
Love.
When one buys the other one a drink from Starbucks- Love.
When one stays up later to check on the kids while the other
takes the dog out- Love.
So even though we don't typically stare at each other with longing, cheesy gazes, we do choose. Thanks for being by my side, Babe. Thanks for choosing Love.
