I know the true definition of "church" is the body of Christ, but for all intents and purposes, I'm going to say I stayed home from church today. For me, Sundays are the most stressful day of the week. I could go into all the logistics of why, but come Saturday nights, I get the blues. I just realized this yesterday, and verbalized it to Chuck. Normal church services seem to always be held on Sunday mornings, and usually way too early, in my opinion. My church in MN met on Sunday evenings, and it was the absolute BEST. I actually looked forward to going, and truly enjoyed my day of rest before our service. I continually have this nagging feeling that church services could be done in such a better way than the typical Sunday morning stuff. Why is it that churches typically cram two different messages into one morning? The way it works for me is I hear a message with the teens, and then I head over to the main service and hear another message. It just doesn't make sense. Anyway, because of the fact that we only have one car, and because Chuck works for our church, we all have to troop out of the house early. Jase and I wait around for an hour before the first service starts, and then he goes to the nursery for 3 hours while I go to two services, and then we wait 30-45 minutes after these services until Chuck is done. It's just exhausting. Chuck told me the other day, "It's not going to change", and basically he was telling me to suck it up and quit whining about it. I get that. I know what I signed on for when I married a ministry guy- and this is honestly what my heart desires- I just don't like the Sunday morning concept. It's really annoying.
I do love the loving of the people. I do love the relationships. I do love reaching out to others. I do love singing to God together with my church community. I do love hearing from God through the Pastor that is speaking. And today I loved staying home with Jase and watching one service live from the comfort of our couch with coffee in hand while he played on the floor with his toys! On a side note, I just noticed this morning that Jase will fuss a little bit when he drops a toy that he can't reach. It's quite funny to me! What a JOY it is to watch our baby grow!!
Don't worry, he and I will be heading in tonight to volunteer to serve snacks to the teens during their small group time. I will have human interaction at some point in the day, and more importantly, a time to hopefully show love.
Half-Full
I don't really get in to New Years Resolutions. Goals overwhelm me, and make me feel like I'm failing. Chuck really gets in to setting goals and is motivated by them. To each his own. I am feeling daunted by all the things in life I'm not doing well. I'm sure that's a normal "new Mom" issue, or even a "Mom issue" in general. Maybe not, but I suspect I'm not alone.
The great news is, Jase is 4 months old and doing beautifully! He is growing like crazy, right before my eyes. Often lately I find myself saying, "This is the last time you'll be squeezing into this outfit!" During our 2 1/2 week Germany trip he grew out of three outfits I had packed for him. He is wearing 6 month clothes, with some 9 month things- heading quickly into full-time 9 month attire. And by the time we got home, he no longer fit into the size 2 American diapers I had. Thankfully, I was able to mail the 25 leftovers to a dear friend whose baby can still squeeze into size 2's. Jase is giggling and "talking", which just lights up my heart. When I ask him questions, sometimes it actually seems like he's "answering" me. He is one happy guy.
I find myself being very challenged by my little son. He is constantly smiling, giggling, and just all-around happy. Even when he hasn't had sleep, or when he's really hungry, he still smiles at me. Watching him has really been teaching me that I need to smile when I'm not feeling good about my circumstances. The littlest things stress me out, and make me cranky. When I'm tired, I get cranky. When I'm hungry, I get cranky. I hate that about myself. I really want God to create in me a spirit of thankfulness and joy- no matter how I am feeling. Chuck and Jase both see the glass (or bottle, if you will) as half-full, and I really want to join the optimistic team!
The great news is, Jase is 4 months old and doing beautifully! He is growing like crazy, right before my eyes. Often lately I find myself saying, "This is the last time you'll be squeezing into this outfit!" During our 2 1/2 week Germany trip he grew out of three outfits I had packed for him. He is wearing 6 month clothes, with some 9 month things- heading quickly into full-time 9 month attire. And by the time we got home, he no longer fit into the size 2 American diapers I had. Thankfully, I was able to mail the 25 leftovers to a dear friend whose baby can still squeeze into size 2's. Jase is giggling and "talking", which just lights up my heart. When I ask him questions, sometimes it actually seems like he's "answering" me. He is one happy guy.
I find myself being very challenged by my little son. He is constantly smiling, giggling, and just all-around happy. Even when he hasn't had sleep, or when he's really hungry, he still smiles at me. Watching him has really been teaching me that I need to smile when I'm not feeling good about my circumstances. The littlest things stress me out, and make me cranky. When I'm tired, I get cranky. When I'm hungry, I get cranky. I hate that about myself. I really want God to create in me a spirit of thankfulness and joy- no matter how I am feeling. Chuck and Jase both see the glass (or bottle, if you will) as half-full, and I really want to join the optimistic team!
Cardboard
I've only been able to attend services with our new church community a few times, and it's been a hard transition for me. But the service yesterday was quite different. Chuck and I are learning that LWCC has many pretty cool traditions during the holiday season. Yesterday was their annual Thanksgiving service which included "Cardboard Testimonies". I have seen this type of testimony before and found it extremely moving. Yesterday was no different. Our wonderful, dear friends Ben and Jess visited us for the weekend so they were watching the testimonies with me. The three of us were a crying mess together.
I was VERY encouraged and VERY inspired by the vulnerability and courage of the people who shared. I began thinking of my own cardboard testimonies in my head. It really got my mind kicked into high gear for this week of Thankfulness. It also got me thinking about all the family and friends I have and all the good ways God is working in all of us. Even in the MIDST of painful seasons, which Chuck and I find ourselves in, God is good.
So I would like to ask you, friend or stranger, what is your E-version cardboard testimony? I think you'll be encouraged if you watch this video (Click to watch) or even if you watch just a couple of these testimonies. The testimonies yesterday were so good I just wanted to hear even more stories about the goodness of God. Please share- either by commenting here, or the link on Facebook. Here is my E-cardboard testimony:
Pregnant, over-joyed, lost the baby, devastated/ Pregnant again, fearful, another loss, more devastation/Third pregnancy, more fear, God is the giver and taker of life/Our son is 2 1/2 months old/God is Healer
Thanks for sharing, and Happy Thanksgiving to all!
I was VERY encouraged and VERY inspired by the vulnerability and courage of the people who shared. I began thinking of my own cardboard testimonies in my head. It really got my mind kicked into high gear for this week of Thankfulness. It also got me thinking about all the family and friends I have and all the good ways God is working in all of us. Even in the MIDST of painful seasons, which Chuck and I find ourselves in, God is good.
So I would like to ask you, friend or stranger, what is your E-version cardboard testimony? I think you'll be encouraged if you watch this video (Click to watch) or even if you watch just a couple of these testimonies. The testimonies yesterday were so good I just wanted to hear even more stories about the goodness of God. Please share- either by commenting here, or the link on Facebook. Here is my E-cardboard testimony:
Pregnant, over-joyed, lost the baby, devastated/ Pregnant again, fearful, another loss, more devastation/Third pregnancy, more fear, God is the giver and taker of life/Our son is 2 1/2 months old/God is Healer
Thanks for sharing, and Happy Thanksgiving to all!
One Week Old
Our little "Healer, strong man, born of God" is one week old today! I absolutely love the meaning of Jase's full name. God has used this boy to bring healing to our hearts since the moment we found out we were pregnant with him. I look at him and marvel at how he got here. Only by a miracle from God. Jase is a miracle!
I am working on writing out our labor and delivery story in my own private journal. Strangely, my right hand and arm has been going numb off and on since the end of pregnancy and has gotten worse since giving birth. A nurse told me that is a normal side effect, but it sure limits my journaling. I hope to be able to write a little bit of the story on here at some point, but we'll see. I'm trying not to pressure myself into anything these days. Chuck and I are facing a ton of pressure with all the changes we have going on and really have to work at being at peace on a daily basis.
Today I want to give glory to God for the most special boy we've ever known who has come into our lives. On the day of Jase's birth, Chuck posted this verse and I absolutely LOVE it. Psalm 118:23, "This is the LORD'S doing; it is marvelous in our eyes." That is how we view the birth of our precious son. ALL glory, and thanks, and praise to God our Father. Never have I known such intimacy with God as I did going through labor. No one could help me at certain points, but I always had the strength of God in a way I didn't know possible. (I believe God definitely included the pain meds and epidural to help me!)
I'll never forgot the first time someone handed me my firstborn son. I don't even know who it was, I just remember the feel of him. I remember the tears of gratitude for the miracle God had done through Chuck and I. I remember the relief that he had arrived, and that the laboring was over. I remember his warmth, his softness, and his little nose. I'm crying as I type because I still can't believe Jase is here. This is one of the most precious pictures I will ever know. I know I will treasure it for the rest of my life. SO thankful for a husband who was a champ at taking pictures!
This is one of the other most precious pictures I will ever know. When my Love got to meet and hold our son for the very first time. (Yep, that's the proud Grandpa texting everyone he knows in the background!)
And finally, our first family picture!
I better close this post- don't want to lose power. It's storming like crazy here- thunder, hail, wind, rain- Jovie and I are freaked out, but at least Jase is sleeping like it's no big deal. ;)
Happy 1 Week Birthday to my little punky, Jase Charleson Amos Dubbe.
I am working on writing out our labor and delivery story in my own private journal. Strangely, my right hand and arm has been going numb off and on since the end of pregnancy and has gotten worse since giving birth. A nurse told me that is a normal side effect, but it sure limits my journaling. I hope to be able to write a little bit of the story on here at some point, but we'll see. I'm trying not to pressure myself into anything these days. Chuck and I are facing a ton of pressure with all the changes we have going on and really have to work at being at peace on a daily basis.
Today I want to give glory to God for the most special boy we've ever known who has come into our lives. On the day of Jase's birth, Chuck posted this verse and I absolutely LOVE it. Psalm 118:23, "This is the LORD'S doing; it is marvelous in our eyes." That is how we view the birth of our precious son. ALL glory, and thanks, and praise to God our Father. Never have I known such intimacy with God as I did going through labor. No one could help me at certain points, but I always had the strength of God in a way I didn't know possible. (I believe God definitely included the pain meds and epidural to help me!)
I'll never forgot the first time someone handed me my firstborn son. I don't even know who it was, I just remember the feel of him. I remember the tears of gratitude for the miracle God had done through Chuck and I. I remember the relief that he had arrived, and that the laboring was over. I remember his warmth, his softness, and his little nose. I'm crying as I type because I still can't believe Jase is here. This is one of the most precious pictures I will ever know. I know I will treasure it for the rest of my life. SO thankful for a husband who was a champ at taking pictures!
This is one of the other most precious pictures I will ever know. When my Love got to meet and hold our son for the very first time. (Yep, that's the proud Grandpa texting everyone he knows in the background!)
And finally, our first family picture!
I better close this post- don't want to lose power. It's storming like crazy here- thunder, hail, wind, rain- Jovie and I are freaked out, but at least Jase is sleeping like it's no big deal. ;)
Happy 1 Week Birthday to my little punky, Jase Charleson Amos Dubbe.
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| A couple days old |
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| 1 Week Old- has gained 7 oz. since we left the hospital! =) |
