Pray for NORMAL!

***If you prefer not to read this whole post, our main prayer request is in bold at the bottom. THANK YOU for praying!

This smile lights up my heart like no other!

Tomorrow Jase is having more blood work done. His doctors were concerned about the blood work he had earlier this week, and want to check it again to make sure his levels are moving towards normal. Waiting for results is agonizing. These results could change the course of our life dramatically, or we could end up going on like normal. I long for normal and boring. Jesus, I long for NORMAL results.

I am terrified, to be truthful. God has absolutely given me moments of peace, but then there are other moments where the reality of our situation scares me to death. I am sick to my stomach quite often, and can barely eat. Until last night, I haven't been sleeping well either. I am constantly in tune to Jase, and closely watching to see if everything he is doing seems "normal" or not. It's agonizing. What's worse, there's a chance the virus Jase had could still be in his system tomorrow, and he'll have to have more blood work done later. More waiting. I can't handle the waiting.

God, hear my heart. This Mama is aching with worry. I agonize over hearing anything but GOOD news about my baby boy. Please Father, give us GREAT NEWS tomorrow!

It helps me so much to step back, and see God in this situation. Two nights ago was one of the worst nights of fear I think I have ever had in my life. I could not sleep. I tossed and turned. I prayed and prayed. I cried out to God. Jase still had a fever, and there was still no known cause. I cried out to God asking Him to BREAK THAT FEVER. Fevers are not of God. Seizures are not of God. I begged God to break that fever. I asked God to cover Jase in a rash so that we would know it was a virus. Possibly even the roseola virus. I was desperate to find a REASON for his fever since the doctors were so concerned to find a reason.

I ended up turning on my light so I could read my Bible (I've been reading in the book of Acts), and Chuck woke up. He prayed for me, and prayed for Jase. We talked for awhile, and then Chuck played worship music. We laid there together holding hands soaking in the truth of the lyrics, letting them minister to our souls. We eventually fell back asleep only to wake up shortly thereafter to Jase's cries.

I JUMPED out of bed, and rushed to his side. As soon as I picked him up, I could tell he was cool. PRAISE GOD! I took his temperature, and it was normal. God had broken his fever. Amazement coursed through me, and I couldn't help but thank Jesus. After we put Jase back down, I stayed up and continued reading in the book of Acts. It was an amazing comfort to read the story about the man who had never walked in his life, and he was healed! I continued fighting in prayer for my son, and for others.

I got a little bit more sleep that night, and waited until Jase woke up (late!) the next morning. His doctor called to check in on him, and he was still asleep at 10am. I couldn't take it anymore, so I woke him up. As I changed his diaper, I checked him temp again- NO FEVER! Then I noticed he had a rash. A RASH! I could hardly believe it. God had heard my cries. He broke Jase's fever and He allowed a rash to show up! I know it sounds confusing that I asked God to give Jase a rash, but I desperately wanted him to have roseola, NOT an unknown illness. Oh how my heart SOARED in praise to Jehovah Rophi (God who heals).

I'm emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. I haven't labored that hard in prayer in a long time. But I believe in the POWER of prayer. I believe God hears. I believe He wants to move on our behalf. I believe He wants to shower His blessings on us. I believe in you God.

Friends, I would like to enlist you to pray along with Chuck and I. Please pray God's complete and whole healing over Jase. We named him Jase because it means "Healer". God has anointed Jase with that name, and we desire God's blessing of healing over his little body. 

PLEASE PRAY for GREAT results from his blood work tomorrow. Pray the blood work will NOT have to be repeated because the results are so NORMAL. Would you please cry out to God on behalf of our son? 

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

He loves his hats! Our beautiful boy. 

Where is My Hope?

We've been through quite a lot of awful today. I can not process it all. The unknowns feel too much to bear. Every time I put my hope into something like a blood test or urine test we are fed with more questions, and my hope plummets. My faith is being tested by fire, and I don't know how to handle it. I know as a believer I am not promised a life of ease and constant goodness. I know I am not immune to the worst case scenario. Each day I feel we are inching closer and closer to the worst case scenario. My hope in good news is fading. There doesn't seem to be any good news for us concerning Jase's health right now. Don't get me wrong, we haven't gotten any specific bad news, just more questions.

I know as clear as day that my hope can never be in good answers or good circumstances. These are the times I am to "count it all joy" because we ALL face trials. Trials we do not want. My hope is in Jesus because even if the worst case scenario happens in our family, Christ still sits on The Throne. He is so full of love and grace I can not fathom how he will move and work and bless! He is more good than I can know. More loving than I believe. More powerful than my mind can comprehend. He is my God, and tonight we trust Him. He is our only hope. I have hope in God alone because he is my Savior, and He is sovereign.


This afternoon Jase wanted me to read him the book, "Jesus and His Friends". I couldn't help but cry as I read it to Him. It was a beautiful reminder as I read out loud, "Some mothers came to Jesus. 'We want Jesus to say a prayer for our children.' " Then, "I am not too busy, said Jesus. I welcome children. For God welcomes children." Beautiful!

A tangible update on Jase: He still has a fever, and there is no known cause. This concerns the doctors and us. They have been running tests and looking for answers, but so far we have just been running into more questions. It's an awful waiting game. Though we want answers, we are also afraid to find out something bad. We continue to wait for some symptom to show up to give us a clue. So far, there are no other symptoms besides a fever. And so we wait. 

God has been Present with us today. In moments of unspeakable peace, as well as in special gifts from Him. We had friends care for Basye while we took Jase to all of his appointments. She was in wonderful hands! 

Our hospital is near a Starbucks so I got to run in and buy a latte, which always brings me a little comfort. While I was in there I ran into a friend from church who reminded me she was praying for Jase. 

Dear friends ordered us Chipotle for dinner so I didn't have to worry about what to fix. AND they even ordered us sodas which was an extra special treat. 

I had to focus my mind on something other then worrying about Jase so I attacked my closet. I was able to get some long over-due organizing started. 

Please keep praying for us. We really need need it. 

My Sweet Baby Boy

I don't feel like rehashing the events of the weekend concerning our precious baby boy. To say it has been awful is an understatement. We've experienced similar issues with Jase in the past, and it never gets easier. The first time it happened I wrote about it in his journal, and ever since then I haven't been able to bring myself to write about it again. I feel like I'm walking around in a fog.  What's going to happen next?? 

I was just doing a load of laundry, and all Jase's sheets, bedding, and clothes from the weekend were still in the dryer. It bothered me so much to find them in there. Things were so different before Saturday night. Everything was fine, Jase had been running around at a birthday party, he had gone out to Target with Chuck....things really can change in an instant. It always takes awhile to move forward. Quite awhile. 

Anyway, as it stands right now, we have a pretty sick little guy on our hands. We took Jase to his own Pediatrician today, which is always wonderful since she knows his entire medical history. He is still struggling with a high fever, and we don't have anything to pinpoint the fever to. Jase had a chest x-ray done, and it came back clear. (He's had pneumonia in the past.) If his fever isn't better by tomorrow (Tuesday) then we have to take him back in for more tests. 

If you could bring our baby before the Throne of Grace, we would so greatly appreciate it! We believe God will heal Jase, we believe God is present with us throughout every moment of every day. Even when our sick babe is screaming until 2am. ;) May God bless us with His amazing Peace. May He heal our little "Healer" even in this moment! 

P.S. I wanted to mention that YES a dear friend sacrificed major sleep on Saturday night to stay with Basye when we took Jase to the ER! We are SO GRATEFUL to her. Also, it's amazing how the "little" things are absolutely HUGE in the midst of hard times. Dear friends watched Basye this morning so I could take Jase to the doctor. They gave her a bath, and it has been such a relief to me today. Poor girl hadn't had a bath in too long- ugh! Also, when we were at the imaging center for Jase's X-ray I pushed him in the stroller around and around in circles so he wouldn't get fussy. I noticed many people smiled at me, and when they did, I choked up every time. It was SO nice to be smiled at. Such a simple, wonderful act of kindness. 

Thank you so much for praying! 

Just A Miracle

I don't like that when I experience a miracle or see a miracle in someone else's life I typically think of it as a "modern day" miracle instead of just a MIRACLE! God is at work right now. He hears. He loves. He answers. Today. I LOVE hearing about miracles, and I love being able to share this special story today.

My precious niece was born just a mere six weeks after Basye. Her name is Laela and she is beautiful! We haven't met her yet, but we are so excited to next month! Before even leaving the hospital after Laela was born, Chuck's sister and brother-in-law (Becky and Dave) were told to keep an eye on Laela's hip as her leg was popping in and out of the socket. (OK, I definitely won't get every medical detail and term correct, but you get the gist.) Anyone can hear this and know that would be concerning. Sweet little Laela's hip continued to show signs of issues so she had to be seen by a specialist. Ultrasounds were done, and she was assigned a harness. A harness that had to be strictly worn at ALL times. Dave and Becky were told that if Laela came back to the office in a clean harness then it would be known they were doing something wrong. The dirtier the harness, the better.

This was an extremely difficult load to bare. On top of taking care of a newborn, and two other children, now they had to be extra cautious with Laela's hips as well as keep their baby confined in a harness. Imagine how difficult- diaper changes, changing clothes, baths, the baby being stuck in one position, and no wiggle room for sleeping. Then there were the mental worries- would Laela have to have surgery? Would she be able to crawl one day? Would she be able to walk, and if so, would it be with a limp?

Two weeks ago, after about two months in the harness, Laela had another ultrasound done. This one confirmed one of her ligaments was blocking the hip socket. Dave and Becky were told there was pretty much no chance Laela would get better without surgery. They were sent home after hearing discouraging details about Laela's possible surgery. For instance, both legs would be in a cast, and she would only be able to go to the bathroom out of a hole in the bottom of the cast. They left in tears, of course. They were to return to the surgeon's office two weeks later to discuss further surgery details.

We, as a family, continued to pray! None of us wanted to see Laela suffer through a surgery, most of all her parents. Sometime during the two weeks, Becky attended a women's conference through her church. She brought Laela along, and the women laid hands on Laela while asking God to heal her hips. Then last night Dave, Becky, and their two boys laid hands on Laela together as a family, and prayed over her again for God to heal her hips.

Today was the big appointment. The day that has been looming over Dave and Becky for the last two weeks. When the doctor entered their exam room, he looked at Laela's ultrasound first. Without explaining it at all, he said he wanted to physically examine her before sharing any information. After the exam he looked back at the ultrasound. He questioned Dave and Becky about if they had any other ultrasounds, and if this was the most recent one. He checked the ultrasound dates again and again.

The doctor then held up Laela's two ultrasounds. One from two weeks ago, and one from today. The ultrasound from two weeks ago clearly showed the ligament blocking Laela's hip socket. The ultrasound from today showed NO BLOCKAGE at all!!! It showed a perfect hip!!! And to top it off, their doctor said there was no way he could pull her leg out of the socket. It was tight- for the first time in her little life! He was baffled by this, and had no human explanation for the change.

Left: Image from today = Perfect
Right: Image from two weeks ago = The femur bone was not in the hip, and there was blockage.

When Becky called this afternoon to share their news, I was immediately covered in chills and tears. We both were! Tears of joy! Tears of thankfulness to God! Tears of awe! Tears of wonder that God had healed her! Tears of hope because my faith was strengthened in a way I did not expect. Tears of praise to the One True God! "Our God is Healer! Awesome in power!"

Keep praying, friends. Keep asking. Keep believing. HE IS GOOD. If you don't know this Jesus personally, He is waiting for you. He loves you. I am always excited to share more or answer any questions about this great God.

Look at this sweetness! Isn't she beautiful?! I just can't wait to kiss that precious face and squeeeeeeze her! 

18 Months and 2 Months

Believe it or not, these pictures are the best I can do! All Jase wants to do is rip off Basye's bows when I try to take their picture together. But, he loves his own hats right now. And Papa's hats, too! 

Yesterday we had back-to-back well visit appointments for both babes. Jase did really well, especially considering it took TWO hours! Chuck and I were so proud of him. Normally he absolutely hates going to the doctor, but he was well-behaved, and very brave during his shot. We had him watch Praise Baby on Chuck's phone which really helped. Jase finally got his LAST shot (except for the flu shot) until he turns 4! Hallelujah!!  Basye also did well! She's such a sweet little thing- so patient. I hate watching the kids get shots. It makes me want to weep when I see them in pain. 

Both kids are growing, both measure tall, and both are healthy! Thank you God! Unfortunately we have a bit of a journey ahead for some issues with Basye. She needs to see three different (YES THREE!) specialists. 1.) Neurosurgeon for her flat head 2.) Physical Therapist to help with her neck, which is contributing to her flat head 3.) Plastic surgeon for a small cyst on her chest. Sigh. This all feels quite overwhelming. But, we will just have to handle it one day at a time. 

And finally, today starts SSMT verse 7! Whoo hoo! 

I think you can guess the bow did not last on her head very long. 

She's laughing at her favorite big brother.