One Name

Jase was seven months old. The number was so high on the thermometer the nurse advised me to swiftly get him out of his car seat and strip his clothes off.

We then moved to a back room where I waited for the doctor. The room was warm. Stuffy. The air felt thick with heat. I wished there was a window to be opened. The stale room needed fresh air. Pricks of sweat started to itch my back.

(Minutes before his first seizure.)

When the doctor finally appeared, I gave the rundown of Jase’s symptoms. She carefully examined him as he laid atop the white, crackly paper on the table. Everything seemed to check out.

As she walked back to her desk, something frightened me about the way Jase looked. He was still lying on his back. His eyes were open, but the life inside him seemed gone. His eyes didn’t move, they just stared off into the distance. His chest moved up and down with short breaths. His arms and legs were limp.

 Everything seemed to slow down to an other worldly pace. In a panicked tone I gasped, “What’s wrong with him? Something’s wrong!” The doctor hurried back over to the exam table and stuck the stethoscope to his chest. She called, “Jase? Buddy?”

“God. God!” flew out of my mouth. I had nothing else to offer in my desperation. The doctor patted Jase’s enflamed, glowing cheeks and continued to say his name. I continued to speak the Name of God. It was probably just a few minutes that went by when Jase began to look more alert. Though his body remained weak, his eyes slowly showed life again. Eventually the doctor told me to pick Jase up and get him dressed. She was going to get another doctor. I scooped him up into my arms and wept. I continued to cry out, “Oh God. Oh God!” Clinging to His great name gave me hope. The more I said it, the more peace came over me.

When the two doctors returned, they both appeared calm. The words “febrile seizure” were mentioned- the first time I had ever heard those words. They assured me Jase would be alright, and the spike in his temperature caused the seizure. He would probably take a long nap. We were out the door as if we had just experienced any regular appointment.

(The day we found out he had pneumonia.)

In the short amount of time spent at that office I felt I had aged. Maybe it was a spiritual aging. I had turned to my God, and His presence was palpable in that exam room. His presence left me thankful. He allowed Jase’s first seizure to happen with our own pediatrician in the room. He gave us answers through an X-ray that Jase had pneumonia. We were able to treat his sickness with antibiotics. A friend drove my Mom down to help me- a five hour round trip for her. Other friends brought us dinner. Such expressions of God’s great love for us! Such ways He filled us with peace.

All it took was one name.