Not Again...

it's true. it is now 12:30am, and i can't sleep. again. i haven't even tried to get into bed yet- i just know. i know the feeling of when i won't be able to sleep. i do NOT want to crawl in my covers- toss and turn, roll around, mess up the nice, tight sheets, and get all tangled. so, here i sit. i have read everyone's blog on my list- and even connected to other's blogs on other's lists. still. no sleep has come. i know the drill. in a little bit, i'll probably take my trusty tylenol pm. (thanks kristi! and don't worry people- jeff doesn't read my blogs!)

the funny thing is, tonight i kinda know why i can't sleep. do you ever just NOT want to be left alone with your thoughts? with things that are going on? the silence just drives me CRAZY. i have been walking around, and at any minute if there's a chance for silence, i shove my ipod in my ears. i can't take it. i don't want to think. i don't want to know. i just can't take it!

don't worry people- i'm not moving, i'm not going anywhere, i'm not ill...it's just a weird phase, and i am sure it'll pass. it always does...sometimes my heart just feels things that it doesn't want to feel. sometimes it feels things that it tries so hard NOT to. sometimes, there is just nothing i can do but BE. and sometimes, i really hate BEing.

i know i am being so "emo" right now...but if you're not making sense of this: good, but take notes because someday you will get it. if you are, we should be friends...