freedom to direction

a part of my heart is hurting tonight. it's strange, really. i had to say my final good-bye to my beloved, red, jeep liberty. anyone who knows me at all pretty much realizes the depth of my love for this vehicle. i don't think most people understand this. i loved my car. really loved. it meant so much to me for so many different reasons. liberty is freedom from control- and in a sense, when i bought my first SUV it indeed represented to me freedom from control. freedom from a lot of things. my dad and i went together and he walked with me through the process of buying a car. we bonded in such a special way during that time. i will never forget that as long as i live. just me, and dad. i ended up driving my liberty from pa to mn when i moved. my liberty has always been a piece of home for me. i waited over a year to get mn plates. my liberty was a connection to my family, to my home, to my heart. yet, i was freed from the control of so many things in my life those few years ago.

today i said good-bye to my jeep liberty, but i said hello to my new jeep compass. it's interesting because a compass is an instrument for determing direction. so much in my life is up-in-the-air at this point. a lot is yet to be determined. yet to be directed. and so i embrace the jeep compass, knowing that just as God used the liberty to free me from control, He will also use the compass to determine direction for me. and there is certainly a lot of direction to be had.

i drove away from the dealer tonight, at peace with the decision i made, at rest that it was the right buy for me. but, i feel as if i left a part of my heart in the parking lot. for as i turned to glance behind me, to get one last look at my little red liberty, i couldn't help but feel sadness. the tears poured freely as i drove away. a part of me feels so disloyal, but it had to be done. she was sick, and will be in a better place now. i said good-bye, and i can't look back.

so the compass begins. who knows where things will go? a new chapter of my life has begun and i am grateful, so grateful to a God who will continue to guide and direct me every step of the way.

good-bye my little red jeep liberty....