In The Meantime- Part 2: Cowboy Samuel

Samuel is the son of my wonderful friends Nic and Jessi. Samuel has a brain disorder called ACC, but it's certainly not what defines him. What defines him is Jesus- who fearfully and wonderfully made him. That Christmas season he was three and a half. I started helping Jessi by driving Samuel to different therapies he was involved in so she didn’t have to drag her pregnant self, or baby girl out of the house multiple days a week.

I didn’t realize at the time how God was using Samuel to fill me. Each day I spent with him, my heart fell more and more in love. On the days I picked Samuel up from school, I would anxiously wait in the car until I saw his teachers marching the class outside like little toddler ducklings. I’d get out of the car and walk to the edge of the side walk where we would meet. I’d be so excited for Samuel to look up, recognize me, and smile that infamously Samuel smile.

Oh that smile! It would light up his whole face, all the way to his sweet round eyes. Jesus was there in that smile, but I didn’t know it then. That smile would reach straight to my aching soul, and sooth the spots in me that were bubbling with pain.  

 

 

I’d help him into the car, and ask about his day. I’d make sure he had his current favorite toy in hand- back then it was a mini wooden wardrobe from a dollhouse. He adored that wardrobe! I’d give him his lunch and drink while we drove to one of his therapies.

Wednesdays were my favorite days because we’d get to go out to a farm for horse therapy. We would sing songs in the car like, “Old MacDonald had a farm!” We would share silly words, and laugh about silly kid humor. I’d call him “Cowboy Samuel” and he’d call me, “Cowgirl Abigail!” He loved to holler out, “Fee! Figh! Foe! Fum!” Those sweet boy giggles were music to my ears.

At the farm, Samuel would ride, (surrounded by three adults, of course) and I’d watch. Jesus was there, too. He was there in the gorgeous horses that made me feel serene inside. He was there in the colors of the changing leaves. He was there in the beautiful children I got to watch. He was there, using nature and other little humans to comfort my weary heart.  

 

 

Jesus knew that giving me a job where I got to care for a boy a few hours a week didn’t just put money in my pocket, it gave me life. The parts of me that longed to mother got to mother. Though Jesus didn’t give me my own child at that time, He gave me the opportunity to use the part of my heart that ached to mother. I needed that. HE KNEW.

 

I still longed to bare my own children. But that's where Jeni comes in. Jeni in all her spirit-filled, Jesus-adoring, faith-inspiring, powerful-praying glory approached me one day out of nowhere. The darkness began to lift, and the miracles started happening...