Full of Joy: My BFF

meet katie. katie-girl, kate, girl, puuuuuurple, or BFF as i affectionately call her. sigh. i miss her tonight. not just tonight, my heart misses her a lot. we became best friends when i was around 16, and she was 17. no matter how old we were, our excuse for any thing naughty that we did was that we were "only gonna be 16 and 17 once" or whatever age we were- the formula always applied.

katie and i bonded rather quickly once we met- our boyfriends were friends. we dumped them, and have been bff's ever since! we were like one in high school. if ever one of us went somewhere without the other, people got really confused. we schemed. we gamed. we laughed. we got boys to buy us things. we lived life to the FULL. we had countless sleepovers, skipped school, stole off private property, went dancing, and were the queens of downing a full pizza at one time. oh how we lived! fun was always part of our vocabulary. we even had our own voice that we used. it was called the "purple voice". no one understood us, but we understood us and that's all that mattered.

we dreamed. we prayed. we learned about God. we grew spiritually. emotionally. physically. we shared our hearts. our fears. we carried each other's pains. we carried each other's dreams. we planned our lives out- together of course. always together.

well, katie is about to give birth to her first child. she's being induced tomorrow night, and little baby swartz will be in our lives shortly (hopefully!) thereafter. we talked for over 2 hours tonight. about life. about each other. about the baby. about our memories. and we laughed. oh how we laughed!

i feel a sense of sadness and a hint of guilt at having not been able to even see her pregnant. i didn't get to plan her baby shower, or even attend. i wanted to sit next to her, writing down all that she got, and who gave each gift to her. i missed out on that stuff, and it just makes my heart hurt. my best friend is bearing a child and i can't be there for her.

i'm excited for her, but i also feel so weird. i am longing to be home, and to be with her. soon- and very soon- i will be there. but for now, i am lost in my thoughts of her, of us, and of her new baby arriving.

i love you kate. i'm so proud of you, and we shall be together soon...