Fraud

Tomorrow.  Yes tomorrow I will be starting a new job.  I will adorn myself in heels, dress pants, button-down shirts, fancy little sweaters, and do my hair up like a real professional.  You know the look.  Hair blown straight, brushed smoothly back from the face, fastened in place with a tight elastic band   I will carry around my coffee tumbler feeling like a real working girl.  I may even wear my glasses.  I will be sitting at a desk in front of a computer, answering the phone with my most pleasant and "have a lovely day" kind of tone.

Tomorrow.  Yes tomorrow I will be a big, fat FRAUD.  Though I may be clicking around an office in heels and fancy pants, I will be longing for my jeans, sweaters, and new Ugg boots.  Though I may be carrying my fancy Starbucks coffee tumbler, inside there will be decaf tea.  Though I may be sitting at a desk answering the phone with a pleasant  "have a lovely day" kind of tone, I will be longing to be where I belong.  Home.

Tomorrow.  Yes tomorrow I will walk through those office doors feeling that I do not belong.  Though I will be completing the tasks I am assigned, I will know inside that it is not who I am.  One thing I do know is this.  God has placed me in a specific office with very specific people.  With all my heart I desire to shine the love of God into that work environment.  I desire to be a light in a dark place.  I desire to reach out.  I want to smile because my heart is freed by the love of God.

Tomorrow.  Yes tomorrow I am EXCITED to meet new people, hopefully make new friends, and most importantly share the love of God!  I haven't had many opportunities since being a stay-at-home-wife to get out into the community and love!  Now is my chance.  Though I'm afraid, though I'm nervous, though I'm scared because I have no blessed clue how to work the job I've been hired to do, I am on a mission.

Tomorrow.  Yes tomorrow, God will be my courage, He will be my guide, and I pray He will use me.  If even for one week.  That's right.  I'm working for 1 week.  I guess I can handle it.  ;) Come next Sunday afternoon, my one week career will be behind me and I can go on living my glorious, adored, best job in the world, stay-at-home life!

Tomorrow.  Yes tomorrow, would you pray for me?  I am going to check in during this venture as the week progresses. 

My life as a fraud.  Take one.

4 comments:

Jessi and Nic said...

Girl, I will be praying! I hope its a great week for you to meet some new people. You have so much joy and love to give; I know your co-workers will be blessed. But I know the feeling, home is where you belong and it will surely make you appreciate being there even more!

dubbe said...

Abs, you are not a fraud. you haven't compromised your calling to be a wife and home-maker. you will be absolutely fantastic, and will leave them wishing they had a dozen employees like you.

gretchen said...

I hope you enjoy your week. I am sure that you will, because you love people. And you are not a fraud if that is where God has called you for this week. To be at home this week would be to be a fraud. :)

dubbe said...

good point Gretchen!