Joy

These three sweets are the joy of my life. Jase was dying to feed Basye her bottle the other night, and we were thrilled to let him. It was just too precious not to. This picture is my favorite one because Jase kept looking at me with this huge smile on his face as if saying, "See me Mama?!" He was so proud. I am really surprised at how aware Jase is of his baby sis already. He's just a baby himself! But already he has a tender heart towards her. He loves to kiss her, pat her, feed her, and say good-night to her. My Mom says every morning when she brings him downstairs he looks for her in her bassinet. Such sweetness. Another reason this picture is great is because of Chuck's big smile. His smile reflects the joy we both feel at seeing our babies together. We are truly blessed. 

Sleeeeeepy

It really surprises me at how much I slept today. I was only awake for about an hour and a half this morning before I had to lie back down. When I woke up again, it was almost 3pm. A good friend shared with me that, "sleep is one of God's greatest and most important gifts for our health." I find great comfort in that. I do believe the flu is almost all gone from my system, just waiting for this cough to pass. My biggest struggles are weakness, exhaustion, and a racing heart. All of these issues are due to my very low blood levels, coupled with the fact that I just gave birth 11 days ago, of course. I asked my Mom if she would be ready to go home this weekend and she told me she doesn't think I'm ready to be on my own. I agree with her, but just feel bad she's been "stuck" here for almost two weeks already. I wonder when I'll be able to get up and care for my babies on my own? My OB said it will take months until the levels rise, so I try not to get too discouraged. Typically I am able to play with Jase for about half an hour or so before I am just wiped out. I am thankful that each day I've been able to spend quality time with each baby, even if it's not for super long. 

Poor Basye has been having tummy issues. =( This, of course, makes me worry about her. It's not hard for something to make me worry. But her blocked tear ducts plus her tummy stuff just really upset me. I wonder if I'm alone in this, or if all Moms worry like I do? I feel like I'm supposed to have these super-power Mama instincts, and know when something is wrong with my kids, even if the doctor says they're OK. I spent a good amount of time talking with God about my worries today, and asked him to fill me with His peace instead. I want to enJOY my kids, and not look at them constantly worrying about all their little ailments. 

The great news is, we've come a LONG way since last week when these pictures were taken! Such a long way. God is so good. =)

(I still look this bad though, haha!)

Boring Old Lady Update

In 44 minutes I will be taking my very last dose of antibiotics. I finished my Tamiflu earlier this week, as well. I haven't had to take any cough medicine in the last day, although I still have a lingering cough from time to time. I have to keep taking iron supplements, vitamins, and probiotics but that's OK. It just feels good to be finishing medicines.

Yesterday Chuck had to take Basye back to the doctor, and it turns out she has a blocked tear duct. Poor precious baby girl. =( The good news is she doesn't have to go back in for any weight checks because she's gaining beautifully! We have one great little eater on our hands. The doctor warned Chuck we shouldn't take Basye out, or have her around people for a few months because the sickness out there right now is so excessive. We already knew that as Jase has been sick almost this entire winter. Since I will probably need a few months to recover anyway, we are fine batting down the hatches and hibernating until Spring. I find myself dreaming of the day I have the strength to stroll my two babies around the neighborhood on a warm, sunny day. (Truth be told, that's mostly because I am so looking forward to getting my body back after back-to-back pregnancies!)

We continue to experience God's grace and His peace and are continually grateful for your prayers!

Our Strength

"LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress." (Isaiah 33:2)

Isn't this verse just beautiful? I've been having an especially weak day, so reading from Isaiah this morning was a great comfort. For me a weak day means I have little strength, my heart pounds, and I am short of breath doing very small tasks. I have been able to go downstairs a little bit and spend time with each of my babies, but it doesn't take long until I feel the need to crawl back up to bed.

I know my Mom must be dying for a nap. She is taking care of both babies full time, and I know how exhausting just Jase is! He is the sweetest boy on the planet, but his energy is full-blast every moment he's awake. My Mom is sacrificing so much for my sake. She's 60 years old and still caring for her baby girl! A Mother's job is NEVER done. What would I do without my Mom? Thank you just isn't enough, but THANK YOU Mother!!

We've been having meals brought to us several times a week and it helps us tremendously. Food, grocery shopping, and meals stress the daylights out of me, so having prepared meals brought in is a dream come true! We feel surrounded and overwhelmed by the love of our amazing community.

I knew a friend was stopping by to bring us a meal so I wanted to dress Basye up a little bit. Here she is debuting her very first headband from my dear friend, Elizabeth. I can't stand how precious.

She has black hair! It blows my mind! I had black hair as a baby, too apparently. 

Praise God for Great Men

This man is my hero. He brings stability when so many unknowns are plaguing my mind. He brings me peace by praying over me when I'm upset. He gives me hope by sharing Scripture to ease my fears. He loses sleep by feeding Basye through the night so I can get my rest and recover- then gets up early and goes to work. He provides for our little family of four, and never complains. He puts all of us first and doesn't even consider his own needs. He often takes on the roll of Mama when I just can't do all the things I'd like to. This man is a true MAN. He loves God, he loves me, and he loves our kids. He's the kind of husband I could not have dreamed of. God knew. God gave me this amazing gift. 

I know it sounds silly, but I told my Mom today that sometimes I wish Chuck and I could go back to our newlywed days for just one day. She reminded me that we can always go away on a vacation together, and that sounds really nice to me. Hopefully someday soon we'll be able to get away with just each other, and celebrate all that God has done! For now, I treasure this wonderful man in my life in our daily routines. I am so thankful for him- my very best friend in all the world. I'm thankful for his selflessness, his tender care, his 100% support, and the humor he provides along the way. I just can't thank you enough, Babe. All my love is yours. xoxo 

Papa dressing his favorite daughter in her first outfit. Papa is so sweet with her.

All dressed to come home! (Outfit curtesy of GG!)

High high's and Low low's

Today brought some high high's and some low low's. My prediction is that each day will probably be like that. I keep reminding myself, "This is just temporary." I will feel better someday. I will. Sometimes I wonder if people will stop praying for us because we're out of the hospital. But then each day God has sent at least one friend to remind me people are still praying- and we are so very grateful! 

Thankfully Jase finds my mask funny. I'm so glad it doesn't scare him or anything. 

Beautiful sweetheart with eyes open! 

In My Arms!

God really blessed me with a beautiful labor and delivery! I had been terrified going into it, as giving birth to Jase was a little bit like dying. I could not believe the difference this time around! I actually had a lot of FUN delivering Basye. My OB and the nurses were just fabulous! I loved them! God was so gracious to me. Here is a picture of the first time I got to hold my daughter (besides when she was all mucky straight from the womb when they first laid her on my chest). I was also able to take a couple pictures of Chuck with her, too. Right after these pictures were taken is when things started to go down hill fast...

Then the scenario pretty much looked like this. I didn't even know Chuck took this picture! He actually took a lot of pictures I wasn't aware of. At the time I probably would have told him not to take any pictures, but looking back I'm so glad he did. Today is the first time I have looked through our pictures, and even though I feel sad at how hard it was, I am so happy to look back and see God's faithful hand every step of the way.

I had absolutely no idea that mere hours from when this picture was taken Basye would be separated from me, and I wouldn't be able to hold her for five more days. It's good I didn't know. At the time even though I was too weak to even sit up, I found comfort knowing she and Chuck were in the room. Without warning, contact with this sweet girl turned to this. I can't even begin to express the world of difference having this camera/computer set up made to me. Thank God for those hospital angels. I wasn't in contact with her, but I was connected. I needed that. We rarely ever watched TV. I pretty much just wanted to watch my baby.

This is how the staff had to dress whenever they came in the room. This is the day we got checked out, and the first time I had seen Basye in person since she had been taken from me.

First picture together with our daughter! Chuck wore the mask to make me feel better. ;)

First time big brother got to meet his lil sis!

And now, for the BIGGEST PRAISE OF ALL, after five loooooong days I was able to hold my Preshy Presh in my arms!!! GOD IS GRACIOUS!!!! I AM SO IN LOVE.

THANK YOU so much for praying for us- we would so appreciate your continued prayers. I have a long way to go, but praise God for how far I've already come.

Good Night

Little Peanut slept great last night! A big praise to God because the night before she never slept, which meant my Mom hadn't slept and Chuck hadn't gotten much sleep. Last night she gave them a few hours of sleep between bottles which was a great blessing. A friend brought us a meal last night which was another great blessing! We are so grateful for the generosity and love of such faithful friends. Another praise is that I struggled with a pretty bad headache yesterday and last night. After trying several different meds, I finally tried some medicine I had taken after Jase was born and my headache was finally kicked earlier this morning. Trusting God for a great report after the babies see their doctor later today.

Sweet Moments

Today I was able to go downstairs and visit Little Miss. My Mom was feeding her, and as soon as I started talking to Basye she turned her head and looked right at me. Even though I had a mask on, she knew my voice! She knew me! I almost burst into tears. I treasure the memory of that moment.

Later while Jase was napping I went downstairs again to chat with my Mom. I got to watch her care for Basye and it was so special to just be able to SEE my daughter in person. It was a joy to watch her get her tiny, little diaper changed. I got to hear her darling hiccups and dainty newborn sneezes. I even enjoy hearing her cry because I didn't get to hear her at all while we were in the hospital. She is too precious for words.

It's also been a joy to hear Jase laughing and jabbering on downstairs. I am dying to kiss his face and squeeze him like crazy. I find comfort in the fact that each day I am closer and closer to getting better and to being able to cradle my loves again.

God IS Gracious!

I'm typing this from our amazing bed! From our own amazing home! And I just ate an amazing home-cooked meal. There is NO place like home. We chose Jane as Basye's middle name after my own Mama, but also because it means, "God is gracious". That is the resounding theme in my heart tonight. GOD IS GRACIOUS! 

To quickly answer some questions: 

YES, we are home! 

NO, I am still not allowed to hold my baby girl, but hopefully very soon. I am quarantined to our room, which is far FAR better than the hospital! We are manned here with gloves and masks. I could NOT resist squeezing my baby boy when we got home. He had already been around me all last week while I was sick, so I figured it would be OK for me to squeeze him with gloves and a mask on. I can't even explain how good it was for my soul to be able to bond with Jase in that small way. The smile on his face when he saw me was the most incredible gift. I HATED going upstairs and leaving my two preshies downstairs. But I know they are in wonderful hands with their Papa and my Mom- GG! 

YES, Basye and Jase are both doing beautifully well! They both head to the doctor on Friday for check-ups, and we expect great health. THANK YOU God! I would be sick for a million years to keep my sweet ones from having a day of illness. I'm SO THANKFUL I'm the one that's sick and not them. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH for praying us home! We still really need your prayers. I can't believe how complicated my illnesses are right now, and the amount of medication I'm on. It's overwhelming to keep up with it all. I've been under strict orders from multiple doctors that I have to rest, recover, and be very careful. I won't go into all the nitty gritty details, but would you please pray God's healing over my body? There is an awful lot attacking me right now, but I know God is FAR FAR more powerful than any infection or illness. 

I wanted to share one big need for me personally. As you have probably gathered, I am easily overcome by fear. The verses many of you have shared, and the prayers you have written have been a lifeline for me. I read them over and over and over again. I still find myself really battling fear- of many things. But the part that is especially  concerning is that one of the health factors I am dealing with is a high heart rate. Because my blood levels are so low, my heart is working extra hard. When my heart races, which is often, it makes me feel anxious. It happens so easily- even just turning to adjust my pillow makes my heart pound sometimes. 

Spiritually, I am realizing I have to really access The Spirit's power to fight agains the fears that plague me. When I become fearful about something- a thought in my mind, a worry over one of my babies, etc- my heart begins to race. I understand my heart will be racing because of my condition right now, but what I don't want is my fears to EVER have any influence over my heart rate. FEAR is not of God, and I don't want it affecting my heart rate. Since I am spending so much time alone, the tendency for fears to creep in is huge. Will you pray against fear with me and pray against fear affecting my heart?

Again, I am SO SO SO very grateful for the many powerful verses and prayers in Jesus' name that you have shared. Jesus is life! 

Thought you might want to check out the new little love of our life! She makes my heart just melt into pieces and pieces!! 

Can not say enough about the hospital staff. They had "Basye" leave me the most precious notes! Meant the world to me to have that video monitor to see her. Truly made all the difference. I could write pages about all the special nurses and doctors I met and how God used them in mighty ways to encourage us. We are SO THANKFUL. 

Her coming home outfit from my Mom that Papa dressed her in.

My Mom texts me pictures from downstairs. =) Chuck's sister, Becky, made this beautiful blanket. 

Up!

How SWEET is this note?! Just about the sweetest thing ever. The staff here is too wonderful!

My blood tests came back and my numbers went up! Praising the Lord! The blood count for an average person should be between 12-14. I am at a 7.8. That's still not good, but we are thanking God for the slooooooow increase. It shows I don't have internal bleeding. Always a great thing!

There are many factors going on with me physically. Basically it's my low blood count which is causing a bunch of issues (racing heart, weakness, faintness, fatigue, shivering, shortness of breath, etc.) combined with the flu virus. All in all I have a long recovery ahead of me, but today I am counting my blessings. The numbers went up and we're closer to going home all together as a family!

Thank you for your continued prayers for all of us. We just LOVE your messages, texts, emails, voicemails, and love!

Praises and Waiting

Fading quickly, ready for a nap, but praising God for good news today.

Basye is doing beautifully! She is healthy and content, and I am so blessed to be able to watch her on camera. Thank you Jesus!

A woman from the Infectious Disease Unit came in to talk with us today and I am allowed to be reunited with my girl tomorrow night after 8pm! CAN NOT WAIT! Thank you Jesus!

My Dad got to snuggle with Basye this morning, and my Mom will get to tonight! Thank you Jesus!

As for what's going on with my health, my doctor came in and explained things in a way that made a lot of sense. Thank you Jesus! But I still have another blood test coming where they really hope to see my numbers improving or at least staying the same. If they drop at all, that will warrant a whole new round of tests. I am praying that's not the case! Will you pray with us about this?

I never imagined needing blood before, and this experience has made me very grateful for those who donate blood. THANK YOU Donors!

Thank you all for your amazing encouragement and love. THANK YOU for your continued prayers! It's an amazing gift to experience the presence of Jesus' peace as you all pray. We need it and are so grateful!

Basye on Camera

Thank you for your prayers! So much. I have been feeling the presence of Jesus through your prayers, verses, words of encouragement, and your love. You are His hands and feet.

Some very sweet angels on the hospital staff here worked hard to set up a camera just so I could feel connected to our girl. It was a huge, total surprise to me and means more than I can express adequately. She's being very well-monitored, very well taken care of, and we are very grateful. My heart melts watching her on this screen.

Prayer Intervention Please

I am currently sitting alone in my hospital bed sobbing my eyes out.  There is so much happening all at once and it all feels like it's just caving in on my soul. My Mother's heart can hardly bear this.

I've been texting with my own Mom and she is wisely telling me to trust God, and I told her I want to but I'm so afraid. She reminded me that's why I need the  prayer of others. Will you lift us up?

I'm sorry for those of you who have not heard our sweet and precious daughter, Basye Jane was born yesterday, January 18. My heart has wanted to burst with all my friends and family over her arrival, I've been flat in bed almost the entire time since she came into this world, and have barely been able to hold her. I lost a lot of blood, had a blood transfusion, and have been telling every nurse and doctor that I was really sick before I went into labor, and still feel unusually weak.

My doctor came into see me and talk with me this afternoon. She said she would run a flu test on me "just to rule it out", but that she really didn't think I had it.

Long story short, I DO HAVE THE FLU. Please pray! I have kissed my baby girl and I have held her- though briefly- I can hardly handle the guilt that weighs on me knowing I exposed her to such a dangerous sickness. I am officially quarantined from my baby and am not allowed to see her. Her crib even has a sticker that says, "No Contact with Mom." I can't even finish typing as the tears continue to flow. I want to mention that the reason I'm alone in my room is because no one wants me to expose them, and because my AMAZING husband has taken on full-time care of our daughter over in the hospital nursery. He is holding her and feeding her and changing her, for which makes me so full of love for that man. If he had the flu I would have packed his bags so quickly and sent him far, far away- but he wants nothing more than to be by my side. And to care for our newest child.

Anyway, I think you can tell that I'm very fearful for our baby and her safety. Like my Mom said, I need the prayer of others. Will you please pray for the protection of Basye Jane? She is named "Daughter of the Lord" and she is the Lord's. Pray for her safety, and for my heart to trust her as the Lord's.

Isaiah 41:10 "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be discouraged for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Again I am so sorry to those of you who haven't heard our precious news. I really and truly can't wait to share with each of you. Thank you for those who have text or emailed. Chuck reads me each text and each email and it brings me such joy, even though I can't respond right now.

If you would like to post your prayer over Basye or a verse of encouragement, our hearts could really use that Supernatural Intervention. Please also pray for protection over Jase as I held him and kissed him plenty before I got to the hospital!!! :/ I miss my baby boy, too.

We love you guys. Thanks for all you've done already.

P.S. See previous post for her official birth announcement.

She's HERE! =)

Please welcome Basye Jane Dubbe!

Chuck and I are honored to share with you that our "Daughter of Yahweh, God is Gracious" has arrived! Basye Jane (pronounced "BAY-SEE", and Jane after my Mama!) was born at 2:17pm, January 18, 2015. She was 8 lbs. 8.8 oz. and 19".

Several years ago we met a very sweet girl named Basye who was visiting the RBC youth group. Basye and her brother were both very friendly, and had even spent some time living in Germany, so they had a fun connection with Chuck. We loved Basye's name right away and found out she was named after a town in Virginia. As it turns out, anytime we visited Chuck's family in Elkton, VA we would drive right by the exit for Basye, VA. We also looked up the meaning, and what makes the name even more special is that it's actually a Hebrew name meaning, "Daughter of Yaweh/The Lord". We can't think of a better blessing over our daughter! It brings us great peace to know that our children are God's children.

Chuck: We're praising God for a smooth labor & delivery. Basye is cute and healthy, but Abigail is still in need of prayer due to extra blood loss, which caused her to faint.

Inquiring Minds

There is nothing sacred, private, or personal about having a baby. All dignity is stripped and that's just the way it is. In saying that, I do try to keep things about my pregnancy and how I'm feeling and doing somewhat reserved. I really wrestle with the negative emotions and thoughts I have about where I'm at, and never want to communicate a bad attitude to others. It's just not attractive. I in no way desire to be fake, but just desire to keep things personal. 

That being said, inquiring minds have been asking and I'm happy to share. I really need prayer. So I thank you in advance for anyone who will pray! A big thing right now is that I have some sort of cold including a cough, chest congestion, and body aches. I am also dealing with stomach issues- never fun. 

I had an OB appointment this morning and my cervix was checked. I'm barely 1 cm dilated- she couldn't even find my cervix at first. Lame. She did strip some membranes (that was a blast) in an attempt to get things moving. Since I'm sick with this cold junk and stomach stuff, the OB said it's probably a good thing I'm not in labor yet so I can get better before labor. I'm very discouraged because I feel SO lousy on all fronts. I'm struggling with end pains of carrying a baby full term (she's due on Tuesday, 1/20), and also with sickness on top of that. 


~Would you please pray for healing over this illness? I really don't want to go into labor feeling so sick. 

~Would you also please pray for my mental sanity? I feel so plagued by a million thoughts, and the anticipation of going into labor and delivery is really taking it's toll on my mind. (Whoever said a woman forgets labor pains is a big, fat liar. I've been living in dread of labor and delivery since I took a positive pregnancy test.)

Thank you for praying! A friend reminded me today to claim the power that raised Christ from the dead as the same power that lives in me! 

Ring Bearer

Jase has been blessed with some pretty wonderful baby-sitters. One of them, Hannah, got married last weekend and Jase was in her wedding. We were REALLY honored she asked him. It's just such a wonderful feeling to watch someone else love my child so much. She is seriously crazy about our guy, and it makes my heart full.

It was a lot of fun to prepare for his big debut as a ring bearer. Thankfully my sister-in-law has given me a ton of clothes handed down from my nephews, so we were set with options for him to wear. Hannah picked out her favorite outfit for him, and my Mom got Jase shoes for Christmas.

It was a lot of work to get our little guy to be ready. Chuck and I were pretty nervous about him making it down the aisle without causing a ruckus. I prayed a whole lot, and God worked it out perfectly. Hannah's younger brother walked Jase down the beautiful aisle. It went so well! Neither Chuck nor I really got to see him because I was holding him at the back of the sanctuary waiting to send him down, and Chuck was waiting at the font/side of the sanctuary waiting to scoop him up and carry him discreetly back out.

It was pretty special because for a few moments it was just Hannah, her parents, Jase, and me waiting in the room right before Hannah married her love, Kyle. I felt really honored I was the last one to see her before her parents walked her down the aisle. She even had the presence of mind to be SO excited that Jase made it down the aisle. She actually thanked me before I left the room to find a seat. How sweet is that?!

Rehearsal night- wearing his little man corduroy jacket. So handsome. 

Hannah practicing walking down with her parents.

Hannah and Kyle one night before wedded bliss.

Family pic. Baby Girl is 37.5 weeks here. 

I hope the photographer caught a picture of Jase walking down at the wedding, but here he is at our house right before we left. He's SO busy at ALL times it's almost impossible to capture him in a picture, and even harder to capture him in a clear picture!

I was trying to keep him happy in the church nursery before his big entrance. 

The absolutely beautiful aisle! 

Chuck and Jase- right before they snuck out the side door before Hannah came down.

The happy, gorgeous couple!

Congratulations Hannah and Kyle! Can't wait to hang out as old married people now. =) And thanks for the honor of choosing Jase as your ring bearer- we are blessed!

Family

Here is the family picture my cousin took on Christmas day. She does such a great job!

Siesta Scripture Memory Team 2015

I mentioned this before, but Beth Moore has launched a fabulous program for Scripture Memory starting TODAY! All you have to do to register is pick your first verse, and use that as your comment on the post here. Chuck is doing it with me, and I'm really excited to have this discipline as part of our routine this year. Happy memorizing! And Happy New Year!